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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

fear of hell.

ScotchMist said:
I'm trying to argue my point on the internet and install a yeast skid into a Hovis factory simultaneously here Bear, I missed a quote, sue me:p;)

Call him Sadie
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I don't have his number!!!!!!!!! I gave him mine!

No call!!!!!!!!


If anyone has his number can they please pass it on to me.
 
ScotchMist said:
I think that's equally as stupid.. It's all relative. Are my problems or Hexs greater than someone who lIves on a rubbish dump with no clean water. Obviously not. Its not what we're talking about though. Depression manifests itself in anyone regardless of social or economic standing.

It's a human emotion/trait and telling someone to suck it up because a kid in Africa hasn't clean water is nonsense..
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I'm assuming that is aimed at me.

Did I tell anyone to suck it up ?

I just merely agreed with the point that anyone posting here is one of the lucky ones.

The site I linked provided numbers to back it up. ( btw scotch if you earn an average UK wage you're probably in the top 1.5% )

I wasn't talking directly to hex or anyone in particular.

Not every single post in here has been aimed at hex. If that's the purpose of this thread then you should probably delete all the religious discussion, the yeast and the inevitable eadd bickering.

I've been through difficult times. Haven't we all ? Seeing the bigger picture and being grateful for a roof and clean water got me through them.
It's called perspective. If you have a family that cares, the basic essentials and aren't grateful for them you have lost perspective and your thinking is wrong.

When you're ill your problems seem insurmountable. When you're well again you realise they're not.

How is it nonsense to point that out ?
 
You've sort of answered your own question there by saying when you're ill your problems seem insurmountable, so it's veeeery hard to take a step back and see a wider perspective.
 
I never directed my views towards hex. My comments on our own perception of luck was actually directed to mydrugbuddy.

Of course there is going to be but hurt in a thread questioning hell. 90% of the conflicts on earth are because we can't as humans agree on what constitutes heaven and hell. To bring it on topic I personally don't see given how unique and precious life appears to be in our universe, that we don't already live in heaven. It may not be perfect, but when has chaos in our universe ever created perfectly balanced forces between black and white. Even the rotation of the earth, which we as modern men take as consistant, still reqires up to catch up a second or two every few decades.
 
wibble said:
You've sort of answered your own question there by saying when you're ill your problems seem insurmountable, so it's veeeery hard to take a step back and see a wider perspective.
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True.

However the point I was trying to make was :

I didn't belittle anyone's problems. I didn't tell anyone to suck anything.
If my comment was in any way aimed at OP then the response I got from SM would have made sense.

The conversation had moved onto first world problems / perspective and it reminded me of the site I linked.

So I linked it.. you know, contributing in a small way to the conversation.
 
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found it too frightening jumping in front of a train.

Couldn't force myself to do it. Something in me was scared stiff.

OD'ing would be the perfect way to go. But it didn't work in the past, I just woke up.
 
Well...

Someone needs to say it. So may as well be me.

Jumping in front of a train is a shitty thing to do to the driver.

But the man's right. Get real help.

@ raas.

Bit cold. You were pretty shook up when E had her mishap.
 
Tried 80mgs Clonazapam at once with about a litre of cider.

Woke up in hospital.

Tried 40mgs Clonaz on top of special brew on top of a few lines of china white no 4 heroin.

Woke up a few hours later feeling confused.

Tried Clonaz on top of booze on top of china white on top on crystal meth.

Felt very high.

I don’t want to bother trying to overdose if it’s going to do is fuck me up for a few hours and leave me sobering up in a hospital bed trying to escape while I long for my pile of drugs and drink.

Throwing myself off a building/ under a train would be better however I found the train too intense to throw myself under, plus they stop if they see you which ruins peoples’s journey’s (and you have to ethically kill yourself. I’m not even kidding.)
 
going to try to live for a bit as every attempt to die thus far hasn't worked. So what can you do?

I've had a shower. Put on clean clothes. And will try to be clean (at least for a bit.)

Meeting mum for lunch in an hour.
 
Also i've realized me saying overdoses are bullshit is disrespectful from those who have died from them.

I just meant that from my experience, they haven't worked and have left me worse than before.
 
Nice to see your sticking around for a while Hex :) - get yourself sorted out, get help from whoever will offer it and do be so tough on yourself.
 
hexagram said:
i'm such a fucking pussy. can't even kill myself.
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Guess a lot of people close to you are quit happy that your a "fucking pussy, that cant even kill himself".

I dont know you, but i strongly suspect that your hard times will come to an end sooner or later. Probably you will laugh in a couple of years about considering suicide.

Your live is in your hands. That doesn't make it easy, but you got a choice! The hard ways are the most rewarding ones.

Try to stay positive! There is a reason you are on this planet ........
 
rujex said:
I dont know you, but i strongly suspect that your hard times will come to an end sooner or later. Probably you will laugh in a couple of years about considering suicide.
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I'd say it's more likely that he probably won't. Personally I can look back an realise I'm so far away from that place and that I was really unwell then, but it's never going to be something I have a good laugh about down the pub, jesus.

Edit: I do understand that the majority of people are trying to say comforting or helpful things, but suicidal ideation is really serious and should be treated as such.
 
wibble said:
I'd say it's more likely that he probably won't. Personally I can look back an realise I'm so far away from that place and that I was really unwell then, but it's never going to be something I have a good laugh about down the pub, jesus.

Edit: I do understand that the majority of people are trying to say comforting or helpful things, but suicidal ideation is really serious and should be treated as such.
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Your point is valid!

About having a laugh, obliviously it will never be kind of funny. Still its possible to see darkness with humor. Otherwise there would be no mankind/civilization as we know it. Positive thinking is not just an art, its an important survival tool.

Anyway you are right, that my attempt to cheer him up was quit unprofessional in respect to the circumstances......
 
Well, haven't had a drink or any drugs in days. I feel much better and clear headed.

I'm beginning to feel, and look like myself again.

However, I realized it's been two months since I last saw her. And about five weeks since I last spoke to her.

That's more than enough time to move on from someone even if you were together for 26 months if your in different towns, compleytley cut off from each other.

I always envisioned in my head that if I killed myself, she would mourn. And at least try and remember the good times. Cause atm it seems like she's just decided to act like I never exisisted. But I realized in a dream last night that she might not actually care that much now. Particuarly if it was an OD, she might just think 'typical junkie hex, bound to happen at some point'.

And there are other things i've done that are going to make life very very hard very soon. And winter will be here before we know it, and I am not ready for a winter by myself.

So I guess, i'm still undecided as to what to do :/
 
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