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Need Help Fear of falling back to heroine

Makhno

Makhno

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 27, 2023
Messages
5
Location
France
Hi everyone,

I'm from France and i'm addicted to heroine since 16 years. I've been to rehab many times. Last time, I've try UROD in Tbilisi, Georgia, it was the less expensive protocol that i've found. I was clean to any opiates for 12 days, the only medications i took these last days were naltrexone everyday, valium and clonidine when i experienced post sevrage syndrome (3 times since decembre, 17th). It was the most comfortable rehab that i ever done, when i woke up after anesthesia i just fell dizziness due to benzodiazepine (I'm very sensitive to this kind of medications) but no withdrawal at all. I just felt weak from the low level of endorphins in my brain.

Yesterday, I wanted to check if my tolerance had really decrease so I didn't take Naltrexone for 36h and this evening i took 0,15g of heroine. 12 days ago, i had to take 6g of h not to be in withdrawal and today with 0,15mg I almost fell asleep (I didn't take valium and clonidine 2 days before, it's the same dope, it was from the last batch i've bought before I went in Georgia).

My questions :

- How long do I need to wait until I can take Naltrexone again without to take the risk to be in withdrawal ? How can i reintroduce Naltrexone and limited the risk to be in withdrawal ?
- Did I break everything when I took these 0,15g of heroin today ? Withdrawal syndrome will come back as strong and long as it was before i did UROD ?

I'm very afraid now and I regret so much to have been so curious...
 
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Yea, I don't know where do you come from, but in France if you have 10% of heroine and 6mam in your dope you are lucky. It explain why so many addicted people in France can use so much heroine. And it's extremely rare to find fentanyl in the h that you can buy in the street.
 
Yes I agree with you, 60mg it’s enough if you have very small tolerance. I experienced this when I took this 0.15g, I think in 12 days with naltrexone my tolerance decreased a lot because I was high with this small amount of h.
I’ve fought small withdrawals symptoms with clonidine, today I feel good, I will wait one more week before I’ll take naltrexone again just to be sure that I will not be in withdrawal.
I feel like shit since I’ve took this 0.15g… I wait only one thing it’s to take naltrexone again for the next 11 months and say good bye for good to h…
I decided to travel from France in my home on wheels, my lovely old Mercedes 308D. I’ll go to Spain then Portugal for one month. Just to be far from my old habits and take a new healthy way of life.
Thanks for your answer
Makhno
 
I'm not sure being a vagabond is the best course of action. Why not go live on a Greek island that has no party environment and just give it a year? I feel like Spain and Portugal just won't be far enough removed from the party environment. It will still be easy to score.

I'm not an expert on Greek islands, so can't help you there. But Spanish islands? Don't go there!
 
Eryximachus said:
I'm not sure being a vagabond is the best course of action. Why not go live on a Greek island that has no party environment and just give it a year? I feel like Spain and Portugal just won't be far enough removed from the party environment. It will still be easy to score.

I'm not an expert on Greek islands, so can't help you there. But Spanish islands? Don't go there!
Click to expand...
Hi, sorry for my late answer,

I feel very depressed and I continue to use H since my first use before I opened this thread…
I succeeded to limit the quantity of h I use everyday or every 2 days, I consume 0.2 to 0.5g.

I’ve still don’t go away from France, I went to my parents home to be in a safe place where it’s difficult to obtain h and to prepare my truck for the trip.

I hear what you say and I will follow your advice but I can’t travel for so long time because of professionals purposes. I have a small printing company, I can’t manage my business for such a long time so far away. Even if my employees know my situation they can't be alone for such a long time, I can't ask them to do part of my work for a year even if they say yes, I will feel too bad to know that they do my work…

so finally, I will travel to Eastern Europe and to the Alps, it’s a French mountain, one of my ex girlfriends proposed me to meet her there for a few days.

I’ve prepared a small quantity of some medications to manage the first 5 days without h. Liquid Valium (1 drip is enough for me with clonidine), clonidine, pills for diarrhea, naltrexone that I'll restart to take, at least, 10 days after my last dose of opiates and a nasal spray that I've prepared with ketamine that I'll take after the 5th day without h and 24 hours after my last use of Valium and clonidine. It’s micro dose of ketamine, the goal is not to feel high but feel the antidepressant effect of ketamine in micro dose. I've prepared many bottles of banana juice, a bunch of black chocolate, 5-htp pills and natural liver detox pills, I always thought that it's some kind of placebo but this time I want to try everything to say good bye for a loooooong time to heroine. I even went to my first narcotic anonymous meeting last Friday and I’ll go to the second one tomorrow. It’s the first time in my addict life that I do the step to ask for help and support because I understood that I will never win the fight against addiction alone… for me it’s the sign that I’m on the good way.
I plan to use ketamine nasal spray for 7 to 10 days so after these few days I’ll say good bye to any psychoactive substances.
I know that in my case to be clean for the rest of my life is impossible but if I find the strength to be clean for 1, 2, 5 or 30 years, for me it will be a real victory 🥲

About ketamine, anyone has information about crossed effects with Naltrexone? This medication work on opiates receptors and to take ketamine with opiates is definitely not the best idea so I wondered if it’s the same with Naltrexone, even in micro doses.

And to answer to my question in the first post about withdrawal symptoms, they don’t come back as strong as before UROD. I can say that intensity of symptoms decreased by 50% than before UROD, when I used to take 6g of h each days.

I wanted to say thanks to everyone who took time to answer me, it gives me strength and makes me feel less lonely 🙃
 
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Makhno said:
Yesterday, I wanted to check if my tolerance had really decrease


I'm very afraid now and I regret so much to have been so curious...
Click to expand...
So you really did heroin because of that?

See... if you want to do things right, start by not telling yourself this lies. Forget about the petty details about doing or not heroin.

I mean... My intention is not to be an asshole or whatever, I know you are legit asking for advice. I understand your struggles. Because of that reason, I truly believe you could find some 'relief' in my question.

You are asking something, and the problem seems to be heroin, that you have relapsed, or your tolerance.

My view is, neither heroin, relapsing or tolerance is the problem here. Is something else. Can you see it?
 
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