• The Dark Side 💕 Welcome Guest 💕
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Notable Threads Urgent Hotlines
    Bereavement Mindfulness
    Suicide Support Anger Management
  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Fear of a drug free future

M

MrWragg

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 14, 2015
Messages
11
As I've already posted once before I won't bother introducing myself and my past. I'll start by saying this threads focus is on my past cocaine use. I am now 19, 7 months drug free and the past few months have been eye opening to say the least. I've been suffering severe anxiety over my health and I am 90% sure it's linked to my ex weekend cocaine habit. My fears seem to stem from possible heart problems to cutting agents causing cancer and every possible element of health the chang can affect.

Question 1; In an otherwise healthy 19 year old male, in your opinion how much damage would weekend (1 night on occasion 2) use of 1-3g of low to medium quality cocaine for approximately a year and half on different areas of the body?

Question 2; Has anyone been able to let go of the guilt of using cocaine and become completely happy without it?

Question 3; Does cocaine increase risk of cancer?

Question 4; What are some things that make you personally feel happy and feel like you are truly enjoying life after stopping using drugs?

Question 5; Why I am I more fearful of my future now I'm clean and trying to live/eat healthy than when I was hurting my body with drugs?

I want to live a fulfilling life, I plan to travel the world, have kids and have a wife I love. All while making some good money and having a good time, unfortunately at the moment I feel trapped in limbo between my past and my future... I just want some opinions and helpful information.
Thanks in advance,
MrWragg
 
Hey Wagg and welcome to BL :)

My takes

#1. WE will only be able to speculate on this. Best to see a physician and get the real substance as whats up?
#2. I have completely. Guilt is is one of the main weapons of addiction. Its a mind fuck. We feel guilty about use, but it drives use. Throw all that shit out the window of a jet rocketing towards your recovery!
#3. The cut might.. But really why are you stressing about this? The only thing left in your control is to no longer use the substance. Worrying about things we don't have any control over is a very common form of madness we all seem to succumb to at times. Causes stress, that has a very link to many illnesses.
#4. Change your perception and your whole world changes. How do you need to change your thinking?
#5. Fear of the future is unpleasant and is the path to hopelessness. That's the golden ticket to relapse. Your being played by you.
 
Hit the gym- switch up addictions/ obsessions. You start looking better, get those endorphins flowing, and it also helps you mentally. Some cocaine here and there isn't very detrimental to your health- it's quite benign considering you have a strong heart.There is some speculation it can cause cancer- but the jury is still out- I call bullshit but what do I know? It gets easier with time between you and the drug- you forget the feeling and stop romanticizing it. Keep up the good fight and you WILL see the light at the end of the tunnel... but you have to work for it.... laying around and not being productive isn't going to help anything
 
Thanks for the replies, you're all right I need to focus on my future rather than my past. The only was is forward, time and tide waits for no man so I don't plan on wasting it all.
Kind regards,
MrWragg
 
Question 1; In an otherwise healthy 19 year old male, in your opinion how much damage would weekend (1 night on occasion 2) use of 1-3g of low to medium quality cocaine for approximately a year and half on different areas of the body?

You suffer from anxiety...what damage?

Question 2; Has anyone been able to let go of the guilt of using cocaine and become completely happy without it?

Guilty of what?

Question 3; Does cocaine increase risk of cancer?

Oh noes. The cancer talk.

Question 4; What are some things that make you personally feel happy and feel like you are truly enjoying life after stopping using drugs?

The same things that made you personally feel happy and feel like you are truly enjoying life before using drugs.

Question 5; Why I am I more fearful of my future now I'm clean and trying to live/eat healthy than when I was hurting my body with drugs?

Because that drug use gave you a form of knowledge that cannot be read in any book nor can it be taught to you by anyone. The knowledge is felt and once you feel it you know it. You basically realize that life is really not what you thought it was. You realize that all your answers are in your head and you don't need to do anything to get them, other then...you know what.
 
Reply 1; Cocaine causes damage to nasal cavities and the cardiovascular system. I want an idea of how much from personal opinion.
Reply 2; Guilty of using an illegal drug to mask my feelings while hiding my habit and spending wasted hours, money and health on an addiction that caused me to loose myself and cause problems in my family.
Reply 3; Cocaine is a dangerous substance so it stands to reason that it causes health problems e.g. Cancer
Reply 4; I wanted to know OTHER peoples hobbies and activities to make them happy and keep them busy as I'm interested in starting something new.
Reply 5; As much as I appreciate you replying, even if all you wrote was a lot of know it all drivvle, I have to disagree. Cocaine is a party drug, not much of a mind opening drug.

Please never waste my time and your own replying to one of my threads again.

Regards,
MrWragg
 
Dude, you are going to be fine. I would say stressing on any damage sustained from weekend use as a 19 year old is worse for your health and anxiety.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top