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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Father of a heroin girl

Its weird man; when your addicted to smack.

You know in your heart and your will and everything that you want and need to quit.

Ahhh, but your brain...your brain is HARDWIRED.

Opiates seriously mess with the way that the brain interacts with the world.
When you ask your daughter to quit, your asking her to not feel any pleasure out of anything.

Like I said man... its weird, even when I wanted to quit at my height, and I have been 10 days sober(cold turkey), I still had a nagging feeling in my brain to "FEED".

Yah thats it, its very much like the feeling of needing to eat. Brain food.
 
hey Corey. i remember your previous thread. i'm sorry you're still having so many troubles.
i went through some tough times w/ my son's abuse of coke. but coke is very very different from heroin and girls can make fast money by stripping, etc., as you already mentioned.
i had to take a stand w/ my son which just broke my heart but he got a grip and has been doing ok.
you've gotten some good advice but whatever you decide you **must** stick with your decision.
best of luck to you and your daughter.
-izzy
 
Well, i asked her if she wanted to come stay and get help. I told he she would have to give up her car, her cellphone, my space, and go nowhere for a month until we can get her into oxford. Well, I guess she is stripping, and that just kills me. I guess she went there tonight also. She told me she would move in a week. She has to help someone detox before her boyfriend got out of jail and help watch her kid.(i think is bullcrap) So, she cant move in for a few days. But, she went to strip tonight! That pisses me off. Why the hell is she still doing it if i am trying to help her?? I just don't know if i can get past this! I don't know if i want to help her anymore. ITS SO F-HARD!

Im so sick to my stomach. I just don't think she is going to be able to do it. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm ready to pack my shit and disappear. She don't need me, she needs heroin. Shes the type of girl that don't have a bottom.
 
she has to hit bottom, i was a heroin junkie, and honestly, no one could talk me out of it. I would promise to quit up and down all day. But it was bullshit. The reason i ended up finally getting into a methadone clinic, is cuz i was arrested 3 times for heroin possession, spent about a total of a week in jail and it scared the hell out of me. So with the help of my parents i started Methadone Maintenance, and that was 3 and a half months ago, i relapsed one time 2 months ago and i hated it, so i havent used since then. And im happy to say my life is great, i love life now, i saved up enough to get myself an amazing car, a 2004 SRT-4 ACR edition, cost me 10 thousand dollars, paid in full. Now thats my joy, as well as lifting.

But to the original poster, you have to be strong and not let her use you. You did the right thing kicking her out, if she wants to get back in, she will have to give up the needle and the drug. Which will hurt like crazy, but she has to genuinely want it. My advice is, to whatever extent you can, emotionally remove yourself, tell yourself that your daughter is AWOL, and that this person is not your daughter. Your daughter will return one day im sure, and you will have a great relationship, and if she doesnt, well do you really want a daughter thats gonna be in that lifestyle? Stripping (which leads to other things that i wont mention), and probably sharing needles. I mean you cant sacrifice your own life for someone that is intent on destroying theres.
 
I would say to give her the week - I kinda doubt she's doing what she says, but having a week to give herself time to cope with quitting and "say goodbye" to heroin may actually help in the long run. Most of the people I know who have successfully quit planned it out and spent a couple of weeks using before they began the w/d process.

Personally speaking, I used to use multiple times a day and was physically dependent for years. I currently use every couple of weeks (which I know is not what you want for your daughter, but my goal was recreational use). Anyway, what I'm getting at is the one point that I didn't quit halfway through w/d is the time that I planned everything out and gave myself two weeks of the junkie lifestyle before giving it up. So, give her a week to cope - not to mention no communication for a month must be difficult for her - and hopefully at the end of the week, she'll be ready to start a new life.

Also, I would recommend the book/movie Candy for a good look at the addict mentality - it helped my substance-naive parents understand more about me and my addiction.
 
Corey,

She's stripping to support her habit...a habit that requires her to have heroin EVERY SINGLE DAY or she will be physically ill. So reguardless of what she's told you she's going to do in a week, she has to do what she's gotta do to support her habit now. Let her have her "one last hurrah" before she's gotta go through the hell of withdrawl and having her life stripped away from her.

I wish you both the best of luck.
 
Well, she is stripping for sure. She is trying to tell me hooters gave her job back. I don't believe her. I told her that if she is going to come back and concentrate on recovery and get into oxford she has to give up her job. Its sounds like to me at this point she is not willing to do that. I cant let her work at hooters. How do i know she isnt stripping or using. Besides, hooters is a trigger for her. Well, at this point i need to emotionally detach myself from this monster, and fade away. If someday she pulls herself out of this mess, maybe we can have a relationship again. Until then, i have went above and beyond for this girl, more than most dads would. I cant stand her lifestyle and i dont want to be apart of it. Someday, she will grow up(faster than young people think) and she is going to realize she has done nothing. Maybe she already does.


Corey
 
Icelated - If you're watching documentaries, check this one out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-Ap5lyYcI0

It's about Ibogaine. I'd been through treatment many times and in & out of 12 step programs, none of which "worked." So far, having done Ibogaine in early August, "it's worked" so far for me -- there's a thread I started about it you might want to read: http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/showthread.php?t=455524

If you (/your daughter) try it, please post your experiences here. We need a larger sample based than just me.
 
icelated said:
Well, at this point i need to emotionally detach myself from this monster, and fade away.


Corey
Click to expand...

Corey,

All i can say is i feel your pain.:( I just recently had a falling out with my daughter too, She's 21 and a lazy bum who just wants to party and hang out on myspace.
She don't use hard drugs just drinks too much. Many times she called me crying about something cuz she's drunk or she text me something i could not understand. Now, the reason i quoted that line is, i had to do the same thing.

You and i have different reasons why, but the pain is the same. I"m not going into my reason here. Maybe i'll start my own thread on that. But it has nothing to do with her drinking. I know addiction all too well myself. Never did Heroin but cocaine is just as bad. I overcame it years ago but still to this day i battle cravings for it. Although few and far between now.

She called me last night to say she was sorry, i hung up.
Corey, Don't give up on her like i did mine, i had to give up. "You can't hurt if you don't care." The truth is i do care, and so do you. Take some of the advice others in here have given you. I do wish you and her success at beating this addiction of hers.

All the best to you Bro.
 
I am looking into ibogaine. Can i get this stuff without taking her down to mexico?
I live in washington state and getting her down to mexico is going to cost thousands of dollars. =(
 
CokeMonger, can you give me information where you went and how much it cost?

Corey
 
Canada also offers Ibogaine treatment. I've heard a lot about this place and I've spoken with someone who went there a couple years ago for H. Also, there's a good thread on Ibogaine around here, but I can't seem to find it....
 
Heroin girl, thank you i didnt think about canada. Im only a few hours from there.
I will try to find that thread.
 
Why do you have a problem with her working at hooters? In this economy a job is a job and I know hooters girls make good money. If you quit on her now you will regret it the rest of your life as she will see you as the parent who abandoned her in her greatest time of need. Im not sayin give her money or hell even a place to stay just give her emotional support.
 
Corey,

Ibogaine is illegal in the USA, so you will have to look into going to Mexico or Canada for treatment. It is VERY expensive and isn't 100% gurantee that it will work...but it has shown some good results in some addicts.

Remember, there is no "cure" for addiction, but there are things that help addicts possibly stay clean.

The only way your daughter is going to stay clean is if SHE WANTS TO. No amount of Ibogaine, Suboxone, Methadone or hours in a rehab is going to "fix" her unless she wants to change.

Best of luck. I know how hard it is to quit heroin.

It's a demon that you can't even possibly comprehend trying to get off of your back.

Hate to say it, if your not the addict you really will never get it. It's like trying to explain to somebody what an orgasm feels like...if they've never had one, they won't know what it feels like, or what the hell you're even talking about.

Addiction really is a baffling disease...even to the addict.
 
crimsonjunk,
i dont have a problem with her having a job at hooters. I do have a problem with her stripping. If she was going to work at hooters and not stripping that would be ok. However, i do not know that! Besides, she needs to concentrate on getting clean. Hooters is a big trigger for her.

She agreed to move in and detox and let me take her car away and phone and myspace for a month until she gets into oxford house. I dont know know when though. she wont give me a day yet.

I cant give up on her. If i do she will just stay stripping and get worse and worse. I need to have exhausted everything that i can think of to help her. i am also looking into moving out of state and taking her with me. I am hoping that the oxford house will somehow be what gives her enough of a head start to staying clean.

Growing up i knew someone that was a heavy pot smoker in high school. one nite he ate alot of mushrooms, and had a very bad trip. Something about combining it with cool aid intensify the high or so it seemed. Anyways, he never smoked pot again, and never had a craving for it ever again. Reminds me of ibogaine

Corey
 
corey, i would strongly suggest you look into ibogaine treatment, as i have heard nothing but good things. altho it is an intense experience, it could do wonders. As you are quite close to canada, i would recommend coming here (vancouver is a very liberal city)

i think you need to continue to show her you love her and that you will do anything to help her get better, but nothing to let her continue on the path that she is going down

i wish you the best of luck corey
i may not be a religious man but i will pray for you and your daughter tonight
 
Draigan said:
Its weird man; when your addicted to smack.

You know in your heart and your will and everything that you want and need to quit.

Ahhh, but your brain...your brain is HARDWIRED.

Opiates seriously mess with the way that the brain interacts with the world.
When you ask your daughter to quit, your asking her to not feel any pleasure out of anything.

Like I said man... its weird, even when I wanted to quit at my height, and I have been 10 days sober(cold turkey), I still had a nagging feeling in my brain to "FEED".
thats it, its very much like the feeling of needing to eat. Brain food.
Yah
Click to expand...

The part I put in bold rang particularly true for me in my experience with poppy tea addiction.
 
yeah man i am actually very happy you are as strong as you are. My parents were as strong as you are, and they kicked me out, and that along with being arrested, was the only reason i quit. I was physically addicted, i HAD to use, and i know your daughter feels like she has to use or she will get sick. And its true.

Either she can go through withdrawls, or you can talk to her about Methadone Maintenance, which is a god-send, at least it was to me. I think it saved my life, i take my dose every morning, then im normal all day, i dont get sick, i feel great actually. I love life, i dont use any illegal drugs, not even xanax or alcohol or cigarettes, fuck not even caffiene!

The point is, she has to want it herself. Until then you cant let yourself get thrown into it, you have to be strong and push her away from your love. She WILL come to her senses, if she doesnt, well she probably wouldnt have at all. But the friends i know/knew that used in there early 20s, if there parents did that they usually at least tried to get clean.

I really hope you have yourself a good life, even tho your daughter is in this situation. Unfortunatly i am a heroin addict for life, the good thing is that i am not using and wont for the rest of my life. So thats what i hope for your daughter
 
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