SomethingWitty123
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Mar 26, 2016
- Messages
- 33
I hit rock bottom last week, and I had put together a plan to kill myself on a cocktail of depressants. I'm not a drug user, and I had zero tolerance, so I was assuming that would be that and I wouldn't be here today. I took 14mg Xanax, 3-5ml GHB (apparently pure but I don't know), snorted 40mg oxycodone and washed it all down with a quarter of a litre of vodka and ciders.
All I remember is wretching over the sink, feeling great for about 2 seconds then it's as if my whole body shut down. I time travelled a couple of hours and woke up in a hospital bed being given and antidote. Apparently I had been found collapsed in the street by someone quite a bit away from where I lived. My breathing was extremely shallow apparently. I had lots of unexplained bruises. I don't remember any of it. I woke up feeling as if all the cells in my body had been damaged, and when I went home I had to basically sleep it off for a couple of weeks. I was incapacitated for a while. I think I might've caused some sort of long term damage because I feel a lot more numb and stupid but whatever, that's my own fault.
The worst thing is, I'm sorry that it didn't work. I guess if I had died, I wouldn't have been found in time and that nothingness would've gone on forever and forever. It wasn't pleasant or unpleasant, it just sort of...was. I'm a believer that after death, there is the possibility of coming into life again. After all, before you were born, what was there? Nothing. Just like after death. And then you were, just by chance. Also think of the Big Bang, how something came from nothing, energy is never destroyed only converted, yadda yadda...
All I remember is wretching over the sink, feeling great for about 2 seconds then it's as if my whole body shut down. I time travelled a couple of hours and woke up in a hospital bed being given and antidote. Apparently I had been found collapsed in the street by someone quite a bit away from where I lived. My breathing was extremely shallow apparently. I had lots of unexplained bruises. I don't remember any of it. I woke up feeling as if all the cells in my body had been damaged, and when I went home I had to basically sleep it off for a couple of weeks. I was incapacitated for a while. I think I might've caused some sort of long term damage because I feel a lot more numb and stupid but whatever, that's my own fault.
The worst thing is, I'm sorry that it didn't work. I guess if I had died, I wouldn't have been found in time and that nothingness would've gone on forever and forever. It wasn't pleasant or unpleasant, it just sort of...was. I'm a believer that after death, there is the possibility of coming into life again. After all, before you were born, what was there? Nothing. Just like after death. And then you were, just by chance. Also think of the Big Bang, how something came from nothing, energy is never destroyed only converted, yadda yadda...