manicmama
Bluelighter
I am supposedly bp1 with psychosis in a mixed state gravitating to depression.
My sleep is so far screwed, I'm barely getting two hours a night, I've caned clonazepam, zopiclone, and night nurse over last few weeks, I had a good sleep Saturday when I took mirtzapine alongside my night dose 50mg chlorpromazine, but I slept too well and was groggy until noon yesterday (Sunday).
Last night no mirtzapine and zero sleep.
Tonight's panning the same, I've even doubled my night chlorpromazine and taken 3mg clonazepam alongside a night nurse.
I'm frustrated - either nothing works or it works too well and of I didn't have 2 very young children to care for, working too well would be bliss.
I feel awful for saying this but I fear I am gonna give my parents residency of my child and go into hospital because I'm frustrated so bad, I wanna cry, I'm wound up over nothing, I'm losing my rag, I'm exhausted but my mind won't stop.
I began self harming again last week cos I was on the edge and its just the thought of the fear my baby's would feel if I committed suicide and the negativity that would hound them for the rest of there years.
I'm so tired though :'(
I really need help
My sleep is so far screwed, I'm barely getting two hours a night, I've caned clonazepam, zopiclone, and night nurse over last few weeks, I had a good sleep Saturday when I took mirtzapine alongside my night dose 50mg chlorpromazine, but I slept too well and was groggy until noon yesterday (Sunday).
Last night no mirtzapine and zero sleep.
Tonight's panning the same, I've even doubled my night chlorpromazine and taken 3mg clonazepam alongside a night nurse.
I'm frustrated - either nothing works or it works too well and of I didn't have 2 very young children to care for, working too well would be bliss.
I feel awful for saying this but I fear I am gonna give my parents residency of my child and go into hospital because I'm frustrated so bad, I wanna cry, I'm wound up over nothing, I'm losing my rag, I'm exhausted but my mind won't stop.
I began self harming again last week cos I was on the edge and its just the thought of the fear my baby's would feel if I committed suicide and the negativity that would hound them for the rest of there years.
I'm so tired though :'(
I really need help