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Mental Health Extreme insomnia wearing me down

M

manicmama

Bluelighter
Joined
May 29, 2012
Messages
233
Location
Devon England
I am supposedly bp1 with psychosis in a mixed state gravitating to depression.
My sleep is so far screwed, I'm barely getting two hours a night, I've caned clonazepam, zopiclone, and night nurse over last few weeks, I had a good sleep Saturday when I took mirtzapine alongside my night dose 50mg chlorpromazine, but I slept too well and was groggy until noon yesterday (Sunday).
Last night no mirtzapine and zero sleep.
Tonight's panning the same, I've even doubled my night chlorpromazine and taken 3mg clonazepam alongside a night nurse.
I'm frustrated - either nothing works or it works too well and of I didn't have 2 very young children to care for, working too well would be bliss.
I feel awful for saying this but I fear I am gonna give my parents residency of my child and go into hospital because I'm frustrated so bad, I wanna cry, I'm wound up over nothing, I'm losing my rag, I'm exhausted but my mind won't stop.
I began self harming again last week cos I was on the edge and its just the thought of the fear my baby's would feel if I committed suicide and the negativity that would hound them for the rest of there years.
I'm so tired though :'(
I really need help
 
I am struggling with the same issue right now, and l wish l knew the solution so l could offer it to you:( if your children would be comfortable with your parents and you are unable to care for them there is nothing wrong with you seeking the help it sounds like you need. Hang in there!
 
Thank you, I'm just so frustrated with it. I'm sorry to hear you're suffering the same. I have an appt with pdoc on 12th, I am gonna try and struggle through until then.
I hope you're feeling better soon, take care xx
 
Hi, my eldest lives with his Dad because of my bipolar, I take him home a week tomorrow - if his Dad finds out I am ill again (or verging on) he will use it against me re the already limited access I have.
I am however sending both kids to my Mums until Monday afternoon as I have psych appt Mon 9.30am and will then follow his say so.

I've tried lithium, the dose it took to get me stable (1000mg) started to affect my kidneys (I had total liver and kidney failure aged 20 due to massive paracetamol od and my kidneys are in stage 2 and the rate of decline on the lithium was too high risk for my GP to allow me to stay on it).
I'm not in opi withdrawals, I've never really been into opiates, I liked my coke, booze and speed, none of which has been touched for 11 months and counting.
Thank you all for your input.
BennyZA - I am biting the bullet and if pdoc says not fit or go into hospital now, I will give care of my youngest to my mother and eldest will return to his Dad's early. Because you are right in what you say.

Can anyone comment on whether carbamazepine or topirimate could be useful trials to get my bipolar under control and sleep back on track?
Or would I be best to start a new thread?

I should add, I'm reluctant to push up my clonazepam usage further and zopiclone is always hit and miss as to its efficacy with me.
 
I think that you need to take care of yourself first and that two hours of sleep a night cannot be sustainable for even a week more! Do you work with any kind of case-worker and could you trust them with this information? I think that there should be support for parents that suffer from mental states like yours when they have young children and they are obviously struggling but that is like wishing no one went hungry in this world. I'm sorry that there are not the services that would help you to get both your sleep and your moods under control. It does sound complicated by your physical issues.

I am going to move this over to Mental Health as I think there will be more people there that may have answers to your last question. I hope things ease up for you soon. Parenthood is exhausting enough without the added stresses that you are experiencing. <3
 
You really need to call your psychiatrist immediately. If you do not have one, then get one right away.

The mania/mixed state needs to be controlled - your sleeping issues are very likely a symptom of this. Especially as you have experienced psychosis during an episode before, the way you are going could very well see this repeat itself. Seriously, see a psychiatrist ASAP.

Good luck.
 
Thanks, I moved to a different area two months ago and the transition from one mental health team to the other has been non-existent. I've had crisis team out, they set up the appointment for Monday coming (12th), like I said, kids are going to my Mums until after that at least, however, in all honesty I can feel myself sliding into hypo mania, even the irritability is getting less and I'm considering just calling crisis team up and asking them to take me in for my own safety, if not anyone else's. I'm really hoping I can get to Monday though without a major but I know from prior episodes I hit hypo and next thing I'm in hospital being told what I've done whilst psychotic honestly not remembering anything :-(
 
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