Ya, we live in a culture where rigorous exercise and healthy eating often get grouped together with accusations of vanity, narcissism, self-righteousness, etc. Again, though, because we've gotten so far off of the path that humans walked along for thousands of years that when one lives a very "human" (in the primal sense) life, I guess it seems bizarre/intimidating to the masses. But it feels amazing to be in good shape - muscles, endurance, good hormone levels, etc. I don't think that people who don't exercise/diet well know how good of a feeling it is (conversely, how bad it feels to eat an entire pizza or fast food meal after one has been eating healthy). It's similar to how the drugs only feel so good because you're otherwise feeling so bad. Well I suppose that certain food only shows itself to be so gross and toxic when you're stabilized on a healthy program.
I've never been into sports. Don't like to play them. Don't like to watch them. But I take all of this gym stuff to be artwork. We're all born with a blank canvas and it is up to us what we do with it. Some people tattoo it, others put metal into it. But, and when you think about it, it's a rather trippy thought, that the body actually changes when we do things like lift weight. A lot of people I think get depressed because they don't think they are pretty enough, tall enough, etc. "I am always gonna look like this and it gives me anxiety to think about that." But we really do have a lot of control over it. It just takes a lot of work. And that journey of slow change is an amazing one. So if I have nice muscles and whatever body art, it's not because I (only) want someone to drool over it. I don't have time for that. It's because I'd want someone to be attracted to the discipline and self-understanding that it took to set goals and meet them in the gym and in the kitchen. The best people you want attracted to you are those who are attracted to your desire to improve yourself and be a person you'd want to be. The self-artwork is merely a relay to that person of your determination. The attraction is to a healthy form of personal-cultivation.
Anyway, one of my best friends (a fellow BLer), a friend who is really into bodybuilding, is coming to visit tomorrow. So it will be one-rep max testing day in the gym, as I will finally have a spotter I trust. This kind of thing is always very intimidating mentally. But it's also an amazing feeling when you set new records!
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
Poor show.
