ex-girlfriend help

[lman_15]

When we would chill (after we broke up) we'd hang out I'd smoke weed and we'd fuck. That's about as far as it would go this would happen once every 1-2 weeks. Soon after we broke up she started doing coke, and I don't know if she has a problem but let me just say this she grabbed a quad (7 g's) sold 1.5 of it at most and snorted the rest nd her intent was to grab and sell it. Nd if she can't get blow she gets pretty pissed (both situations remind me of when I was addicted to blow, which i was addicted to 2 years before I got addicted to oxy). She started doing blow at least a couple times a week (not sure exactly how much she does), and I started doing oxy once and a while (when I could get away with it given that i have to do drug tests etc. for the sub doc). Now every time we chill I'm doing oxy she's doing coke, nd then we bang. Nd don't get me wrong I still love this chick and would do anything for her, and to be honest I think well end up back together eventually but I know we needa do our own thing for the time being.

Thing is, I duno what to do, like i feel like when we see each other were toxic towards each other like we hang out and do drugs which isn't what were supposed to be doing (like we obviously both have problems with our drug use). So should I not see her and be clean? Is it even her who is preventing me from being 100% clean? But, then again I introduced her to oxy and basically allowed her to get hooked so I feel like I have some sort of obligation to stand by her and try to help her? I duno what to do, like part of me feels like yea play the system (the sub program) and fuck around do your drug of choice and let her do hers and have sex and then part of me just sees it spirling out of control (like we both were seriously hooked to oxy i'm sure doing this balancing act for me with oxy will eventually lead back to addiction, nd i'm sure her doing coke all the time isn't good either nd will prob lead back down the same road). Nd i know she does blow with and without me and regardless if i'm there or not I personally believe she's gunna do it, cuz its the only drug they don't test for at our sub doc and she just got into it and enjoys it, i just don't want her getting hooked and just switching from being a oxy fiend to a coke fiend.

One last thing all of our links are my friends or friends of friends so when she needs blow (she has like 2 numbers she can call herself) the rest of the links I have and won't give her the numbers. I told her if she wants tell me I'll go grab it and then come meet me and I'll give it to her or come pick me up drive me there etc. but she always bitches about not having the numbers and me not letting her meet them herself. the only reason why I don't want her having them is cuz then she'll basically have 10 people who all chop white and she'll have unlimited links and i'm worried that'll feed into her addiction and make it easier for her to get hooked and quicken the process or her potentially turning into a coke-head. Also, some of these people are fucked and I don't want her associating with them. Do you think it's right that I'm with holding my drug dealers phone numbers from her? I'm willing to meet them and then meet her after, I just don't want her having direct access to any of my dealers aside from the 2 numbers she already has?

So what should I do?
What would you do if you were in this situation?

 

[Captain.Heroin]

I wouldn't give her dealer's numbers at all, you're wise in knowing not to.

 

[severely etarded]

Well, if you give her the numbers the harsh reality is she may not need you around any longer. In addition to what you mentioned about feeding the addiction. Unfortunately the coke these days is horrible. Deadly dangerous when used habitually. It pretty much forces you to smoke it if you want to keep up an addiction, because of all the levamisole the cartels are adding, it can rot your sinuses out if you do too much. I can only imagine what the shit does to your lungs, but it does suppress the immune system very badly and cause agranulocytosis making you a great habitat for bacterial/fungal/viral infections etc.

I also had a friend that was doing coke all the time (RIP) he got sick and died at age 35. Otherwise healthy when not on the coke... The autopsy said his heart was fine, he just died from a suppressed immune system. Doctors didn't even know why, because they typically don't consider levamisole as it's a new cut that has only been used by the cartels in the last 5 years.

Government estimates 80-90% of all seizures are loaded with the deadly crap.

 

[lman_15]

yea so i duno what to do really, i know giving her the numbers will be bad for numerous reasons so I'll obviously withhold them. (she has 2 links which she can get off on her own both unrealiable people). I just duno how much involvement to have, should i tell her to chill? cuz whenever I say you look skinny (she's dropped 10-15 pounds in 2-3 weeks) you should eat or get some sleep you've been up for too long (2-3 days with 1-3 hours of sleep per day), she always refers to me doing oxy well "your doing oxy and that used to be your drug of choice", nd whenever I voice concern it always turns into her defending herself and that shes just starting to do blow and downplays how much she does and then she starts pointing out that i still play around with oxy which is my "drug of choice"

I figure if shit gets really outta hand a last resort way to deal with it, is just tell all the people who chop to her that she's a snitch and that she got my boys house raided. That way no one will sell to her and no one will pick up phone calls, around here if your labelled a snitch no one deals with you plane and simple and i duno its not something i've done before but me and my boy were talking nd if it comes to a point, i guess that would be the easiest and best way to make her stop until she's down to a level ground

nd also, do i get her good blow from reliable people when she needs? like would i rather her get good quality stuff and know shes only grabbing through me or should i let her grab shitty stuff on her own and deal with scum? i duno what to do really, if this was your situation how much involvement would you have in it and what would you?

 

[verso]

....and to be honest I think well end up back together eventually but I know we needa do our own thing for the time being.

There you have it. You already know what needs to be done. The two of you need to do your own thing for right now. And I wouldn't give her anymore numbers, that's for sure!

 

[lman_15]

Yea, i know we gotta do our own thing, but in my eyes (nd this is just my perspective) i feel like she's gotta see other guys be single, i gotta see other girls be single (which i am doing) nd if we wanna meet each other in the middle and chill occassionally thats fine. but we obviously shouldn't be chilling everyday or seeing each other exclusively or anything. nd thats pretty much what were doing, nd to be honest i know her pretty well i like her a lot you know she's a mad chilling and down to earth girl nd we've done a lot of good (and bad) for each other, nd i duno i feel like if i were to totally back outta her life and not talk with her or see her occassionally (yea it would suck cuz she fucks like a champ and is smoking hot and really amazing girl) but also i'd worry about her, she doesn't got any good social support (her family isn't there for her) and she doesn't have any "good friends", she has people who she just met at college has been there for 3 months, nd all her old friends she doesn't see, so i duno i feel like without having someone giving her direction nd social support she might get lost (not saying i'm going to solve her problems but i feel like if i'm her only friend who she's known for more than 3-4 months that she hangs out with, it would be detrimental if i upped and left)