talked to Dave couple days ago, been in too much pain to post till now..
I talked to Dave couple a days ago. Haven't posted till now, just been in too much pain from my broken wrist and physical therapy. *pt is something daves gone through* He-Sounded-Great! I was so HAPPIE to hear him ALIVE n WELL on the other end of the phone. He actually didn't sound different at all, he sounded just like his old self. I couldn't possibly be more happie than I am right now. Speaking w/him made my week!
With his permission he wanted me to tell yoo all he's just fine n dandy. With the exception of a few bed sores still present *the bastards didn't turn him at all when he was in the coma*, and his leg is still n pain and gives out on him from time to time. Dave spoke so proudly to me when he mentioned that he PASSED a swallowing test he was given it made me laugh *grins*. So he IS on solid foods now and according to him hes already hit up Mc. Donalds for a nice greasy hamburger n fries HeH. As curious had already mentioned, Daves bored as hell *no cable tv heh* and cant wait to get back online. I asked if he could possibly use a laptop there n he said no. Good news is though' that he's expected to be released from the nursing home sometime next week. Thus meaning he'll be back online in no time *grins I cant wait*. I made it clear to Dave if NE of my question made him uncomfy that he didn't have to answer. Nothing I asked tho made him uncomfy at all and he answered to the best of his ability *theres still something's he cant remember*. He is over all doing well *better than I expected him to be at least* considering all the trauma his body's been through. I was told by Dave that he will have to be on certain meds the rest of his life due to the two heartattacks he had in ICU. Hearing this kinda bummed me out but at least DAVES ALIVE! Another thing that was discussed and kinda bummed me out was that Dave has no intentions to quit using opiates. Dave even jokingly asked me to sneak some oxy into him if ever I was to come n visit. I told him no way and that im not even familiar w/oxy anyway *which im truly not*. He responded by saying something along the lines of "your probably better off NOT KNOWING ABOUT OXY"'. I couldnt argue his point.
I probably am better off not getting involved with oxy . One thing that I did ask, rather begged of him asa friend and outa concern is that he use more CAUTION IN HIS USE from now on, to which he *to my surprise* gladly complied to. Couple things that Dave seemed to want to make CLEAR to me was that he does NOT blame the drug, rather, he blames himself for making a MISTAKE. This leads me into the second thing he wanted to make CLEAR. Whut happened wasa MISTAKE *on his part* and NOT INTENTIONAL like so many of us here *including myself* thought it to be. Despite this incident he has NO fear in going back to using. Dave is back to his old self. Whether or not this news is good or bad is up to his TRUE friends and family to decide. Personally im just FUCKING ECSTATIC that he is ALIVE and WELL. At the end of our convo I told him how HORRIBLE I felt and how SORRY I was for not being able to be there for him when this happened. Even now I wish I was in Florida instead of fucking Colorado so that I could go keep him company and visit. He responded to my apology by saying that it was not my fault, that he didn't expect me to fly all the way out from Colorado to Florida for him, and the he and I will NO DOUBT have MANY other opportunities to meet face to face. Under better circumstances as well HeH. Hearing him say this yet again brought a huge smile to my face because first of all, by the end of the convo I had been convinced that he was I'd say about 99.5% better. Second of all I just KNEW he was right and that I'll get to meet him someday.
Dave: If yoo just so happen to come across this post: REMEMBER I am HOLDING yoo to whut yoo said to me in that there WILL
be other chances for us to meet under better circumstances. Better circumstances = yoo NOT being comatose. Yoo should know by now, if ever yoo magically find yourself out here in Colorado, fucking call me, you'r e ALWAYS welcome here. I meen
that 100%. I still wish I was out there in Florida so I could come n visit yoo. However, having REMARKABLE FAITH in that we WILL sometime, someday *the sooner the better* finally meet helps me cope.
*NOTE* In our conversation I made it CLEAR to him that I would
NOT post anything about his status without his permission out of RESPECT for him. He seemed grateful for me not doing so and asked that I post info here about his current status. There were however, a few things that he asked me NOT to post which I didn't and don't intend on doing so either. That being said, i'm sure that he would love to be in contact w/any of his TRUE friends
here on this board . If yoo are in fact a TRUE friend of his yoo should have no issues w/contacting him at all.
*curious/amanda* First of all I would like to mention that it truly does sound like yoo know more about addiction than I. Second I would like to ask: Why can't this be a LEARNING experience for Dave? Seems like I, unlike yoo, believe that people CAN change, addict or not. I have heard many a stories where addicts/users have had brushes with death *just as Dave had* and turned their lives COMPLETELY around. I have even heard that in many *not all* cases all it would take to make an addict/user do a 360
in their lives is to hit rock bottom. Why should Dave's case be any different? Again this has everything to do with choosing LIFE over
DRUGS/ADDICTION. I know that everyone is different but if ever I was to OD on any drug, land myself in the ICU because I couldn't
breathe on my own, had not only one but two heartattacks. and survived it, there would be no doubt that I'd take it as a lesson learned. I would realize *just as Dave has* that it just wasn't my time to go AND that someone, somewhere was giving me a SECOND CHANCE at life *not everyone gets second chances you know*. There would be no way in HELL that I would EVER take the second chance I 'd been given for granted and go back to the drug that almost, and probably should have cost me my life. But that's just me. It was quite evident to me that Dave feels quite differently. During our talk the other day it almost sounded as though he was actually looking forward to using again. This I just cannot understand, thus one of the reasons why I literally begged
him to be more CAREFULL in his usage from now on. Dave CAN change. I just KNOW this to be true! All he has to do is WANT to. He is and always will be a STRONG minded person. One thing I found out yesterday *to my dismay* is that he's not ready and doesn't want to stop *yet*. I say yet because one thing I've learned in life is don't ever doubt. There may come a day that he will REALLY want out, and when this day comes I JUST KNOW he'll be able to kik it.
Another thing yoo said is that shit like this is to be expected. To be honest here this was the last thing I *expected* to happen to
Dave. I at first, like so many others here, thought that Dave had done this to himself intentionally. I *thought* that he wanted to die, until I was told otherwise both by Dave himself as well as his
family. I never thought Dave would make a *mistake* like this. Don't get me wrong here, I didnt and don't think hes invincible in any way shape or form *many here believe that he is*. I just thought he knew his own body and its limits well enough to NOT
make a *mistake* like he did. So to answer your question YES it did come asa surprise to me. *shrug*. Let it be known that the convos I shared with Dave sound similiar to the talks yoo had
w/him. He was ALWAYS and i meen ALWAYS high *whether or not it was oxy, valuim, or both I just dont know*. At times he would even put me on hold, put the phone down, to go n fix himself up. Whenever he did this *which was quite often actually* I was left feeling completely helpless on the other end and I always hoped n prayed *in my own little way* that he would use caution in whut he was doing which would allow him to return to the phone
safely. Sometimes he made it back to the phone and sometimes he didnt, which is why i begged him over the phone *knowing he has no intentions in stopping* to at least be more mindfull and carefull in regurds to his useage from now on. This he agreed to *grins good new less hes lying*. Bottom line. I believe that dave CAN change all he has to do is want it. Personally though I choose not to hold my breathe in Daves case that change will happen. I have no doubts at all thaty it could but even still, dont ever doubt.
Last thing I have to say to *curious* is in regards to that the last quote yoo made about how yoo feel that and I quote here " that it is a waste to try n save lives of people who dont want to live". May I be so kind in reminding yoo that whut happened to Dave wasa MISTAKE rather than INTENTIONAL. Dave did NOT want to die the night this happened. Trust me on this. Also yoo had mentioned that yoo feel that there is NO point in saving someone who hasnt even seeked out help for intervention or help for their addictions, May I also remind yoo that it was my understanding that BEFORE this happened to dave HE was not only SEEKING
HELP in trying to cut back, but also looking into HELP involving certain treatment facilities which would have help him in weening off his love for opiates. One of the facilities he was looking into was actually located out here in Colorado. Dave even had the address for this place asked that I look it up on the computer for him to be sure it was'nt located in a ghetto' part of Denver HeH. At ne rate the facility he was looking into fell through. Perhaps one legitimate reason for this is money? I do know that most treatment centers are VERY expensive. I dont know. Again I say yoo seem more insightfull as far as addictions go. Perhaps im missing something?
*seed* Yoo had mentioned *once a junkie always a junkie*. I just dont buy this at all. People CHANGE ALL the time. Dave could in my opinion change, junkie or not. Again I say all Dave has to do is want it. And for yoo to assume that this isnt possible is just plain wrong imo. *shrugs*
Okie this took forever to type one handed n I still have more I would like to say in regards to this topic. Too tired n in pain to do so now tho'. So i'll add later.
*edit* fixed typos an re-worded somethings.