I've been hovering over this post for hours now, waiting to see Dave's name: waiting to see him say that he dodged a bullet, and that he's going to be all right. I don't think I can recall any time I've worried like this for a person whom I've never met, and rarely had kind words for.
I can recall his warning to us all, when his friend nodded off on fentnyl strips and never woke back up: That she knew the risks, and the consequences, and that these things happen. That "those are the breaks". Now, It seems so hard to swallow. It's hard to imagine someone I had such unfaltering respect for, someone whos wisdom has saved inumerable lives, could never come back.
Now it seems more complex than how your choices affect you. John Dunne was right. No man is an island. The trouble Dave's in is leaving us all drained, anxious, and empty. My only hope is that it's a two way street. I hope all our thoughts, all our prayers, and all this love can bring him back from an edge he may have already stepped off of. If it takes the intervention of a supreme being, by God, make it happen. I'd beat my fists against Him, begging for it if I could. The world doesn't deserve losing him, and he doesn't deserve to be taken. The reality is sad. I'm powerless to do anything but keep him in my thoughts, to hope.
Before I visited bluelight tonight, I read a headline on The Onion: Moral Tacked Onto End Of Man's Life. It's trite and self-absorbed to condense whats happened to our friend and peer down to a sentence. Still, this thread, and all our feelings are a testament to how many lives Phreex has touched, often without even knowing it. Next time you do something that could cost you your health, or your life, consider the hole you'd leave behind in the world. It's unfillable, becuase theres only one you.
May Dave live to report that "the rumors of his death have been greatly exagerated", and then close this thread.
[ 05 March 2003: Message edited by: atlas ]
