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ever outed someone's habit or got yours outed by someone else?

C

coopie

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Apr 9, 2010
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I've never 'outed' someone as a drug user and so far no one has 'outed' me - but recently a friend told me she rung the parents of another friend and told them she was using and where to find all the evidence. I thought this was really off - tell me what you think of this? has it happened to you? have to you done this to someone? is it ever worth the betrayal?

How about the flip side of this ? Did your habit ever get outed by somebody else?

(to the OP--I hope you are OK with me adding this to your thread, but someone is likely to make a thread askin if you ever got outed once they see this one. so im addin that here to include both sides so that we can keep the general topic of outing habits in one thread intstead of havin both a , have you ever been outed and a , have u ever outed somebody else .)-lacey
 
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No, never seen it happen, but I don't think it's always a right/wrong or black/white thing to do. For some, outing them at the perfect time(if they are so far the down the rabbit hole there isn't much hope left) may be a life-saving move. This is rarely the case, and most of the time it's a dick move.
 
I've never seen it nor would never do it, I've confronted friends about their addiction and how it's screwing thing up for them but never outted. Who other than the person themselves has the right to go and expose their drug use.
Best thing to do is point them in the right direction to get help and change, you can't push them.
 
I personally think its really scummy to out someone in any situation. Talking privately to them about it is one thing, but to make it widely known just because is a really rude and unfriendly thing to do.

Someone obviously trusted you enough to confide in you, why stab them in the back?

Even if their usage or whatever else it maybe was already widely known between a group of people, there's no need to out them.

Why take control of someone elses life?

I have never been outed before, but indeed if I was I would damn sure never talk to that person again.

Karma is a bitch, it'd come around to get them eventually.
Keep that in mind next time, those of you who think outing someone is ok.
 
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that's a fucking dog act, that's my view on it - not knowing why of course, but i'm assuming said people are rather young and it was over something trivial. i've seen consequential results of this before and it wasn't pretty to say the least. saying that there's situations where people do need to be awaken to people's addictions, ie some wife who's husband is blowing their life savings on coke, you get the idea.
 
my brother recently outed my IV habit to my (step) dad. then my dad wen't on to tell my mom and then there was no more secret. my brother tried to convince me it was for the best and i couldnt keep doing that but i still hold anger towards him for it. my mom sees me as a completely different person now and doesn't trust a word i say. my parents basically raided my room and found my whole bag of tricks from the needle exchange.

i didn't stop using because of it and now i reuse the same needle for atleast 10 hits because i can't keep all that shit in the house. what was the point of outing me again??
 
I've been scapegoated before when a friend didn't want to accept partial blame when we were smoking in his parents' house. That's a little different though. I would never rat out a person's habit nor would I ever want it done to me.
 
askaboutme said:
my brother recently outed my IV habit to my (step) dad. then my dad wen't on to tell my mom and then there was no more secret. my brother tried to convince me it was for the best and i couldnt keep doing that but i still hold anger towards him for it. my mom sees me as a completely different person now and doesn't trust a word i say. my parents basically raided my room and found my whole bag of tricks from the needle exchange.

i didn't stop using because of it and now i reuse the same needle for atleast 10 hits because i can't keep all that shit in the house. what was the point of outing me again??
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same thing happened to me - my younger brother outed my IV habit to my mother. i was extremely dirty at him for a while; it made things between mum and i intensely awkward for a good period of time as well. but i've forgiven him, he was doing it because he loved me and knew i was getting into a bad place.

hopefully you come to realise he's doing it for love, man. show your parents the respect they deserve and doni't do shit in their house. you're under their roof so their rules. get your own place and you're free to do as please, yanno? i think it's a pretty good compromise.
 
I outed my brother once for doing opiates. He was being a dick to me in front of other people about smoking weed. He was like, "Yea I drink but at least I'm not a fucking pothead like my brother, bla bla bla."

I responded with something like, "Yea well I'd rather be a pothead than a fucking pillhead, you ass hole. Why don't we talk about that?"

I felt bad but he cornered me into it and we all know how annoying it is to be ridiculed for smoking pot.
 
leftwing said:
same thing happened to me - my younger brother outed my IV habit to my mother. i was extremely dirty at him for a while; it made things between mum and i intensely awkward for a good period of time as well. but i've forgiven him, he was doing it because he loved me and knew i was getting into a bad place.

hopefully you come to realise he's doing it for love, man. show your parents the respect they deserve and doni't do shit in their house. you're under their roof so their rules. get your own place and you're free to do as please, yanno? i think it's a pretty good compromise.
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yea that would be the good/smart thing to do but as you know, it's not that easy. if i could pick up and stop i would have by now but instead im running to paterson every chance i get. did you stop after you got outed?
 
If you look at it form the position of the person who is doing the outing they are usually trying to reduce damage to a person or persons. I can understand breaking the confidence of someone if they were well on the way to killing themselves or damaging another person.

I don't believe in the disturbance of a person's life if they aren't bringing harm to another person, if they're fucking themselves up or killing themselves then they should be allowed to proceed as they want. I'm not sure I would ever out someone, I would hate it if someone did it to me. In the right circumstances I would out someone's habit to the people that cared about them in order to help a situation.
 
So many people have and are still trying to out me out. Several friends have called my parents from California. I still get threatened that people will call and tell them (I'm like, go ahead, they know). Friends have gone through my cell phone and called all my friends and xbfs and family members without even talking to me first. They did it out of concern, but I would think they would have talked to me first about some basic information like what kind of drugs are u using, how much, when did u start, how are u using them, why did u start, etc... instead of freaking out saying, "Ahhhh!! she is using drugs!! Ahh! She needs to stop using drugs! drugs! drugs!" I had a bf once, who, while bartending, announced to the whole town that i was an IV heroin user. I was not too pleased and did not retaliate even though he smoked lots of crack, used OC, and was an alcoholic.

Typically, I am not a narc, but I have only outed out my brother in law and xbf's habits to my parents in defense for their calling my parents to blame me for their drug use and lying about the extent of my drug use (probably to cover up the guilt for their own use- don't really know why they would do such a thing). Telling my parents isn't a big deal because they are relatively cool about this stuff and there won't be any repercussions. I was trying to point out their hypocrisy and clear my name for the bad reputation they were trying to give me.
 
i know a guy who called his best friend's mom because his best friend was smoking pot. he called her and literally said "your son is smoking pot right now". the kid was fucked and squealed leadingto a lot of people getting fucked by their parents. not me though :)
 
My best friend exposed a sniffing dope habit I picked up to a girl I had JUST started dating a month prior...... totally caused drama ... I banned him from my house for 2 months and told him if he let out my personal habits again I would never speak to him again, it was so shitty... when the ex found out I had been doing dope I had just ate 4 grams of good shrooms and my good trip went immediately BADDDD... we argued in my bathroom while I was peaking on mushrooms about my heroin habit... it sucked for a while but we went to festival, made up, and had even better make UP SEX! FTMOTHERFUCKINGWIN
 
Wow! thanks for all the responses - I find this subject really interesting.

Totally fine with Lacey's add on ;)

I really feel sorry for anyone outed! Like I said - I haven't been outed as a user - but I've had close calls and other situations where a 'friend' has dumped me in the shit with someone else and it really shat me to tears! I should be able to confide in someone without fearing they will take the situation into their own hands if they 'see fit to' - talk about a total onset of anxiety and a major shift in a frienship. I hold confidentiality in the utmost regard! maybe if it's a life and death situation I'd act differently...

I must admit, I freaked out that one of my friends was going to out me once and I covered up and lied that I had got off and didn't have a problem anymore in miraculous timing. It's all about respect I reckon..

thanks again for the responses!
 
My parents outed me to my High School Principal. I was called into the Principal's office during school and both of my parents were there with the Principal and a bag of weed they found in my closet, I was really pissed because I was sitting in class daydreaming about smoking that weed when I got home. They threatened to drug test me and insisted that I stop. I didn't stop, that day after school I went with my friends to the pool hall and got high and got high everyday after that for years. They never tested me. They were more concerned that I was using harder drugs but I wasn't, once they found that out they left me alone and let me smoke my pot.
 
a long time ago one of my friends let slip that i was a dopehead to this girl i liked and it pretty much ruined it
 
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