I've just joined bluelight on hearing about it from Effie. Evad. Dave. Or David, was my beautiful big brother.
This forum is a difficult place for me - I am three years younger than him - he would want to protect me from some of the things he has posted on here. But now I find myself delving into his private world to curate some sort of image of the whole of him, not just the brother he wanted me to see.
I can't begin to describe the grief, disbelief and heartbreak that has suddenly engulfed every part of me. My bredrin/flava flav, David - i never caught on to the dave thing - was who I wanted to be, only I didn't have the massive balls - either physical and metaphorical.
I could relay to you hundreds and thousands of anecdotes to try and alleviate some of the heavy air that seems to be attracted to us all at this time, but I feel reading through that you need to find support from your fellow bluelighters. I always wondered how David had managed to collect so many close and eclectic friends, and realise only now that the time he spent on his computer was not just spent on youtube and wikipedia (and many other less koscher websites - an exclamation mark here feels a bit pathetic) but also on this forum and msn with all of you.
His reach feels immeasurable, the work he wanted to do - helping people - I feared was yet to start, but he'd had 8 years of hard work contributing here and that is so so comforting.
I'm sorry for my lack of wit and any spelling errors I may have made, he would not have been impressed.
I am in awe of your continued support, especially for Effie. I am so sorry if my words are weighty.
Please take care of yourselves.