• Bluelight
    Shrine




    A memorial
    to Bluelighters
    who have passed away

Evad - RIP <3

Ahhhh. I hadn't spotted that. I didn't think anyone here would remember. <3 <3

DAMMIT Dave. I've just posted in ektamine's thread but there is absolutely no way I can express what I want to say to you except GOD FUCKING DAMMIT FFS I miss you SO MUCH and I still have no idea how there can be this reality I am in without you in it as well. Just, what the fuck? How the fuck? WHY?

Had a good chat with Dan about you the other day. I know you were fucking lucky to live, and to live the life you did, and we were so extraordinarily lucky to get to share even a small part with you, let alone what we did. And I know you're nowhere now and I know you would rather have lived than not and everyone who lives has to die and that how I feel is really just a reflection of how I much miss you and how I still can't grasp it... You're not in pain. You're not aware. You got the chance to experience living, and that is the main thing, not the fact that you died. I just wish you'd got a bit more, that's all. I wish we'd got a bit more.

<3 <3 <3

(Do not laugh at me for being soppy Dave you cunt, haha.. just. Fucking miss you. )
 
I have tried a couple of times of the last week to post on Dave's FB page, but it wouldnt let me, I guess maybe his family have had it disabled or whatever?

So I'll say what I wanted to say here instead....

Dave, I wish you could have been there, I know damn well you would have laughed at the stupid stories of how Alex and I met, and I know you woulda remembered me talking about 'going up to London to shag *another* Bluelighter....' Who would have thought I'd have ended up marrying him huh? :) I know you woulda come and partied with us... You were missed..... I hope you were watching from whatever party in the sky you're at now bro. <3
 
2 weeks until it is 2 years that you died, Dave. Loads of people said the cliche "you don't get over it, you learn to deal with it". I don't think that is true. While I now have some distance and ability to focus on other things, within a second it's hurting as much as before and I do not feel any more equipped to handle it. I miss you so much. Another Boomtown just passed but I couldn't go. Back to old habits. Still not developed the last photos of you.

I will always love you <3

Fuck this <3

edit: HA, his page is working for me.. try again and shoot me a msg if still no joy?
 
Dave you daft cunt! I messaged you on facebook earlier. Been secretly expecting you to message me back.

If it's any conciliation I'm now absolute bezzies with fran after meeting her at your funeral again. I also fell over and hurt my arse, was canny funny. Was trying to kick a football.

P.s I fucking KNEW they played psy trance in heaven.
 
It's now three years since you died. I'm remembering getting the call from Rosie on the train home from the seaside and the absolute confusion and desolation over the weeks leading up to the funeral. There was the comfort of sharing stories with so many people who loved you, and telling your mum and dad how amazing I thought you were.

I wish I could be on the beach today setting off some lanterns like I expect some people will be today. Hope the weather is more suitable than when we tried to set some off on your birthday!

004.jpg
 
Been thinking about when Me, Dave and his girlfriend of the time, Kate, went to a beach rave in Northumberland once. The year was roughly 2006. I've already posted about this (briefly) somewhere earlier in the thread but, fuck it, I'm drinking cider and reminiscing. Definitely my favorite experience with Dave.

We had to get a bus from Newcastle and when we got off the bus it was at some tiny little village whereby we were at least two miles from the beach. Some posh student hippie lad and his posh student hippie girlfriend got off the bus too, and were totally oblivious as to where to go (more so than us). So we led the way. Definite case of the blind leading the blind...

As we walked the lane towards the beach it was verging on dusk, and I can remember having to travel down a country lane in the middle of nowhere with nothing but the sound of cows and the distant sea. The hippie couple were hilarious. We ended up naming them the 'shit hippies'. They were fucking terrible hippies. Strictly weed and rock music types. Totally out of their comfort zone.

I can remember doing some gorgeous bumps of ketamine as we walked down that lane. I love walking on ketamine, it's such an adventure. We asked the shit hippies if they wanted some and they thought we were talking about sweets and were quite shocked to see us with a bag full of ket as they politely extended their hands.

There was also an exchange in which they asked what kind of music would be at the beach rave and we said 'techno', and one of the couple responded (in their little twee voice), 'oh, techno music... well I don't think I like the sound of that...'. I'll never forget the tone of voice and the giggles that resounded.

As I type this I've just had a bit of a 'eureka!' moment as I realised how happy I felt back then. I've felt a bit depressed recently and there was just something special about that walk to the beach. It was the best bit by miles. The sense of adventure, the sound and smell of the sea, DUSK, and beautiful uncut ketamine. It might have even been some stereo isomer.

I can remember first hearing music in the distance and it gradually getting louder, then seeing a girl run past us shouting "I'm running to the mooooooonnn". It was a harvest moon that night, I could see why she wanted to. We never found out if she made it.

I did my first ever poo on a beach and then we arrived at the rave. Unfortunately these were the days of minimal techno and most of the tunes were shit. We wanted some hard techno, but there was little to be had.

I had a 20mg capsule of 4-aco-mipt and he and Kate took some DOC.

The 4-aco-mipt was nice and euphoric, but made me slightly anxious. I had the option of taking the DOC but 4-aco-mipt was high up on my to-do list of psychedelics. I can remember seeing nice tracers coming off the seagulls and everything looked a little bit enhanced and HD.

Dave and Kate were suitably more fucked. I can remember them asking me if the beach was covered in fishing netting, which it obviously wasn't. They lost the DOC on that beach. I always wonder if somebody found it and whether they knew what they were doing if so.

The next day was a scorcher.

I can remember Dave and Kate saying they were still tripping the next day in the pub.

Like I say, definitely my best time with Dave. The last time I saw him we gave each other a big hug.

Legend.
 
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