OK, it may just be me, but I think at least some of you are slightly mixed up...
Firstly, when chemists, doctors, etc. talk about "ether", they almost ALWAYS mean diethyl ether. There are many different ethers around (an "ether" is a class of organic compound, and there are loads of them.) but if they want to talk about a specific one, they will name it. Diethyl ether is so common, however, that it's generally referred to as just ether. I'm going to stick to this convention!
Heptane is a non-polar solvent, barely soluble in water (as mentioned). Ether is the same, although it is significantly more water-soluble. Non-polar solvents will, however, preferentially mix with one another, as will polar solvents (fairly obvious! The old "oil and water" thing, where oil is non-polar and water polar). Thus, when you wash the starter fluid with water, a small amount of ether will dissolve in the water, the rest should stay in the heptane. The water will dissolve any polars (things like ethylene glycol, methanol, and so forth. I'm not certain what's in your starter fluid!). Either way, you should end up with a polar water layer on the bottom and a non polar ether/heptane/whatever else layer on top (since water is denser than most common organic solvents). Of course, if you use a huge amount of water, all your ether will dissolve in it (but bear in mind that water will only hold 5% ether - 5mL ether per 100mL water. Thus keep the volumes small and most of it should end up in the non-polar layer. You could also saturate the water you use with table salt, which should push most of the rest of the ether out).
If you want to be sure which layer is the water, add a drop or two of food dye. It wont mix with the non-polar layer. Do it anyway, it just looks cool

(it's similar to how they do lava lamps!!).
Now, a few comments regarding inhaling this stuff. First of all, it's really not good for you. And, being a chem student, I've used ether extensively - when you're doing it in a poor fume hood, you tend to inhale large amounts of the crap. I swear, I've never had anything remotely resembling a high, and I've ended up with the world's WORST headache every time afterwards. Really should convince them to fix those fume hoods...
Also remember that ether is one of the more flammable chemicals going around, and seeing as it boils at 30*C, it wont take much to end up with a room full of fumes...
As has again been said, this is far from medical grade ether!! Hydrocarbons (eg heptane) can be very toxic by inhalation. And you have no idea what some of the other crap in there is, let alone what it may do to you, nor what sort of toxins some of it could be metabolised to. I'd really recommend that you dont inhale this unless you distil it, and distilling ether just sounds like a fun way to cause an explosion and hurt yourself unless you have the right equipment and know exactly what you're doing!