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Erotica I, a poem

molokoplus

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 29, 2009
Messages
6
Location
the belle époque
Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.


Erotica I

The dirtiest longing I ever had...no sex involved, no
mere fucking; the rude, full-scale laugh of the thick-fingered man at the bar,
too loud,
just a little too loud
because I'm trailing my finger around the sticky beer-ring on the tabletop
real quietly
and kind of liking it
breathing deep, just
deep, deep breathing in that stale sweat smell,
under the dim smear of the last dingy lightbulb.

and I'm kind of liking-
liking the way my body feels here:
the way the grit and the ugly,
and the airborne taste of unwashed flesh
sticks to my hair,
to my skin
and slips underneath my clothing, uninvited,
with coarse, grasping palms,

and I'm kind of liking it.
 
and I'm kind of liking it.

Some pieces I read and I'm there with you straight away from the get go.
This is one of those, after the second line the picture had painted so well I could smell and feel the bar; form your point of view.

Awesome :)
 
simple but still very vivid. it felt like i was there.
i'd like to read some more of your work.

:)
 
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