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Ecstasy, a sexual drug?

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ti.ara

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I've had tons of discussions about this with people, I'm curious as to how many people find ecstasy to be a sexual drug? I realize it effects everyone differently so answers seem to vary greatly.

Personally, I don't find e to be sexual AT ALL. I don't think I could ever have sex on it, unless maybe it was well after I peaked. I've never felt sexual towards anyone while on ecstasy. I've wanted to and have kissed people, hugged, cuddles etc but it's definitely NOT sexual whatsoever. I've done E with my ex boyfriend plenty of times and sex has never even crossed my mind. I just wanted to hug him and be super close and snuggle, kiss, etc. Even then, it's not sexual, its not even about a physical attraction to him, or anyone I snuggle with on it.
Is it generally easier to have sex once you are coming down? I know a lot of guys can't get an erection on ecstasy either, so that wouldn't help. lol. So, for me, when people ask me if ecstasy is a sexual drug or if it makes you want to fuck people, I always emphatically say nooo. I have heard from the odd person though, that its very sexual for them.

So am I in the minority or the majority here?
 
I really get horney when chicks are around but still cant get an erection, its almot pointless enless i have a viagra, its more easy to maintain a erection while on the comedown but while peaking and haveing sex, it feels more like an orgasm is gona burst every sec but never does(almost impossible), and your stamina goes forever, its auwsome ... a friend of mine is always fixed on thimgs while rolling, chicks are really never on his mind, he sits their and is amazed, im the opposite, i dig chicks even more but thats just me.....
 
My GF and I are all about sexual behavior while rolling, to the point where we won't roll around people we can't interact with that way (family, monogamous friends).

We've tried to be non-sexual a couple times, but it seems hollow and wasteful to not be naked to and touch. Erections don't matter in the slightest (it usually works for me, but not a big deal if it doesn't), we have loads of fun no matter what.

Honestly, I was completely appalled when I met people who feel as you do. My first thought was "Are you taking the same thing I'm taking?!?!"

I had a sneaking suspicion there was some kind of PLUR conspiracy to had this aspect from the world, but it really does seem that people can get together in groups on MDMA and not end up in a big naked pile. Shockingly, it seems to almost never happen.
 
I am not particularly sexual when rolling, I am usually too focused on how good everything feels, how much I love everyone, how awesome the music is, how beautiful life is and so on... :)

I know several people for whom rolling is much more of a sexual experience as well. I think it just depends on the person, the dose, the kind of people you are with and the location of the experience. I find it pretty hard to really do anything other than zone in on the music and slowly move around on the dancefloor if take a heroic dose of MDMA (200+). On the the other hand, if I do a much more moderate dose of say 80 mg, I can sometimes even get hard. :)
 
SGHteller said:
Honestly, I was completely appalled when I met people who feel as you do. My first thought was "Are you taking the same thing I'm taking?!?!"
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Well, believe me, when I roll its the most amazing, beautiful, healing, deep experience for me. I connect on such a deep intimate level with the people I do it with, just not in a sexual way like you do. There is more than one way to deeply connect with people. It's not a waste for me, not in the least bit. MDMA has brought so much healing to my life. <3 My friends and I may not get sexual but we snuggle and have deep healing conversations about things we couldn't even bare to think about before, like my good friend came out to me and admitted for the first time ever that he was gay. I've been able to open up about things in my past that I had so bottled up that it was eating me alive before I did E. So, believe me, don't be appalled because what I experience on E may not be sexual but it is deep and intimate in a totally different way. :)
 
I tend to get sexual, when the peak comes. I dunno.. I mean, it's not so much sexual, more sensual. Like you want to be close, rub, and be intimate.. which tends to lead to sex, for me.
 
it's not sexual to me in the sense that i actually want to have intercourse. i do love to mingle and flirt though. it's funny, i won't have an erection while rolling and yet i feel as if i’m having a body-gasm.
 
ti.ara said:
Well, believe me, when I roll its the most amazing, beautiful, healing, deep experience for me. I connect on such a deep intimate level with the people I do it with, just not in a sexual way like you do. There is more than one way to deeply connect with people. It's not a waste for me, not in the least bit. MDMA has brought so much healing to my life. <3 My friends and I may not get sexual but we snuggle and have deep healing conversations about things we couldn't even bare to think about before, like my good friend came out to me and admitted for the first time ever that he was gay. I've been able to open up about things in my past that I had so bottled up that it was eating me alive before I did E. So, believe me, don't be appalled because what I experience on E may not be sexual but it is deep and intimate in a totally different way. :)
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I've had those conversations. Imagine: two straight males, lounging on a bed naked, talking about anything and everything while our spouses screw around in the other room. The other guy was my boss at the time!

Years after I started rolling, I've come to understand the other styles of rolling ... except the "take all the pills in my zip code and wash them down with Jaegermaister".
 
I realize this is an ambiguous answer, but I think it depends on your definition of "sexual". If you equate feelings of absolute closeness with sexuality, then by all means it's a sexual drug. If you view sexuality and intimacy as at odds with each other, then you'll feel that MDMA is not sexual.

I know it sounds strange to say that "sexuality" and "intimacy" could be at odds with each other since we use them synonymously, but I do think that for many people sex is about achieving a release, either for themselves or for the other person. It's a goal that they work toward, not an opportunity to simply be close to one another. MDMA is a fabulous tool for building relationships because it shows us that aspect of intimacy, where simply being with someone is euphoric. People often find this so at odds with how they've experienced romantic relationships before (e.g. mutual goal-seeking) that they find MDMA to be distinctly non-sexual. Others for whom sex is a natural consequence of that closeness find no issue with MDMA and sex.

(Note: There's nothing wrong with simply treating sex as a release -- it doesn't indicate anything "bad" about your relationship, simply that you view it from that perspective.)

Then again, there's the whole other issue of "amphetamine dick" caused by the physiological effects of the drug, but I don't think that has much to do with its psychology. 8)
 
RGB said is beautifully.

Actually, A lot of men experience that their penis gets a lot smaller while they're on MDMA- so it being sexual sometimes isn't an option.

For me, MDMA makes my sense of love for everyone more multi-facetted and deep, and takes away from feeling sexual- it feels more intimate, affectionate, and conversational. I had sex with my boyfriend after the last time we rolled, because for me, it was making things *ahem* flow better...but it's actually not my favorite activity on MDMA.

I think MDMA is also very personal- if all you've ever done is stayed home with your partner and been intimate, you couldn't imagine changing the setting to a club or a big event. If all you've ever done is gone with a group of friends to a giant even and listened to EDM music, the idea of just doing it at home with light music on and your partner wouldn't seem right either.
 
One obviously loses inhibitions when on MDMA. I find it to be a sexual drug, but not in a sense that sex becomes the be-all-end-all... more often than not, when I'm rolling, I'm more enamored of the IDEA of sex rather than sex itself. So in a sense, it's much more of an erotic experience, in the fullest sense of the word, rather than sexual, because 'sexual' connotes something a bit more mechanical than the word 'erotic,' which is a word laden with emotional charge that goes with sex as well as the act of it.

Personally, when I'm on e, I always want to be as intimate as possible with someone. Sometimes it's on some uber-platonic level, but a lot of times, it's on this erotic level... the best rolls for me are when I can lose myself utterly in the partner and vice versa. I love making love to my partner on e, and talking to her the whole time.
 
It is not a sexual drug to me. When I am rolling, it feels like I am returning to a child-like state. Of course, closeness and touch with others is a must, but it does not turn me on or give me any kind of sexual gratification. It's as if that part of social behavior has been removed, and friendliness is without sexual motives.

Of course, I know it isn't always this way for everyone, so I have learned to be cautious.
 
C8H10N4O2 said:
It is not a sexual drug to me. When I am rolling, it feels like I am returning to a child-like state. Of course, closeness and touch with others is a must, but it does not turn me on or give me any kind of sexual gratification. It's as if that part of social behavior has been removed, and friendliness is without sexual motives.

Of course, I know it isn't always this way for everyone, so I have learned to be cautious.
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I keep rereading this post as fascinating ideas blossom in my head. :) I wish I could describe what I'm thinking about, but it's complicated. Thank you in any case for giving me a lot of food for thought.

One question: how would you best characterize a "child-like" state? Is it the absence of ulterior motives that's the most significant part? Is it the absence of sex as a required theme to your interactions with people? Is it the impulsiveness of being a child, without the normal fear of repercussions?

For me, MDMA blows the lid off countless implicit assumptions that we make about sex and intimacy. I'd go on, but I need to get my thoughts in order on these things... 8)
 
RGB said:
I keep rereading this post as fascinating ideas blossom in my head. :) I wish I could describe what I'm thinking about, but it's complicated. Thank you in any case for giving me a lot of food for thought.

One question: how would you best characterize a "child-like" state? Is it the absence of ulterior motives that's the most significant part? Is it the absence of sex as a required theme to your interactions with people? Is it the impulsiveness of being a child, without the normal fear of repercussions?

For me, MDMA blows the lid off countless implicit assumptions that we make about sex and intimacy. I'd go on, but I need to get my thoughts in order on these things... 8)
Click to expand...
I characterize it as a child-like state for many reasons. Kids don't hide their feelings. They haven't learned that fear of "crossing a line" by breaching etiquette. Because of this, if they feel an emotion, they're going to show it without restraint. If they want something, they are going to tell you. If they like you, they are going to hug you. Kids seem spontaneous because double-checking yourself is learned behavior. Ecstasy tends to make me more accepting of everything, so it is very hard for me to become offended by someone's behavior. Since I assume most people are the same way, I allow myself to act on impulse, with less fear of someone seeing me as being impolite (by getting too close to them, hugging them even if I just met them, etc).

In another sense, assuming when I say child-like state, I am referring to the behavior/mindset of kids before the age hormones take over, sexual advances are not part of their interactions with others. I'm not sure why, but ecstasy seems to take that step out of my mind. I am able to appreciate a good looking guy (of course, it seems like everyone is absolutely beautiful when I'm in this mindset ;)), giving a guy a back massage is awesome, but I never really think about taking things further. Of course, I never would since I am monogamous, but even cuddling with my boyfriend does not make sex feel necessary.

That being said, sex is not out of the question while I'm rolling; in fact, we have had some fantastic sex during the comedown. I think part of it is because my boyfriend and I are already in a sexual relationship, so advances don't have to be made. If I were single, I would probably prefer a cuddle puddle to finding a guy.

Another effect that reminds me of childhood: Ecstasy makes things seem new and amazing once again. I find myself overwhelmed by sights and sounds, the sensation of release from dancing to music, the joy of meeting a new friend, etc. The way children laugh when they're playing, the look on the face of a kid who got what they wanted for their birthday, and the feeling of wonder on a kid's first trip to the aquarium, are what I feel inside me and see on the faces of others. The jaded tunnel vision of adulthood is lifted, and I am able to appreciate things in a new light.

To summarize and answer your question, it's a combination of inhibition, impulsiveness, seeing and feeling as if everything is new, and lack of a sexual element in social interaction, that defines the child-like state to me. I don't attribute a lack of ulterior motives to this term, because I believe that kids are inherently selfish for purposes of survival (so will be able to have an "ulterior motive" if it's to their benefit) and that selflessness is a learned behavior. But that's an entirely different discussion. ;)
 
I do not necessarily desire to get naked and have the act of intercourse. However I just want to hold closely, snuggle, kiss, even have my groin area touching stuff like that, so I agree with the person who posted "erotic", however this is not required to have a good time or anything, and i rarely do this, thats just what feels most comfortable
 
It is definitely a bonding experience. During the peak I'm not even trying but I am talking shit, flirting, touching, cuddling and as I'm coming down things tend to progress with no problem.
 
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My s.o. always have sex when we roll. In fact the roll is about intimacy, and being really close, and giving each other incredible pleasure. My partner always masturbates with a vibrator as she's coming up and although I can't get an erection I also have an intense desire to be involved in sexual activity.
I don't think I could roll without being allowed to act sexually. I would have to go somewhere private where I could occupy myself with my needs.
 
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