Economic Depression

haven't done a blog post in awhile . . . things have been pretty depressing. Good thing is, I quit smoking. Happened like this: cut back to about 3/4 cigs/day. had a friend over, we got high, i was feeling good, took deep drag on unfiltered cig, felt sick, thought i was dying and passed out. Threw up and felt better, figured it was food poisoning. next day, as an experiment, I took drag of cig and felt like passing out again so haven;t had another one since.

Been having panic attacks related to smoking (thought something was wrong with heart), caused so much anxiety, my heart rate and blood-pressure went up really high . . . had terrible vacation because of it . . . . after i returned from vacation, i finally got some tranquilizers (ativan) and have not had to take any anymore.

Here's the best way to describe my economic situation: used to be i could sell one-acre lots i own for $23k easily. Now, those same pots are selling for only $5000 . . . if u can find a buyer.

Didn;t win the $500-million lottery . . . don;t usually buy tickets bit thought god wanted me to win, so I could run full-page ads in the New York Times like Yoko Ono does.

Missed the cut-off date to apply to be on Survivor (they actually called me one year but thought I was kidding them, my friend wouldn;t vouch for me and tell them I'm for real) . . . would also love to be on Apprentice and meet Donald Trump.

Not motivated to do much anymore, no enthusiasm.

Was delighted to see one of my fliers published in a book about the Kennedy assassination.
 
Hope it all gets better, Goddess. Nicotine when I am nervous makes me yak. The connection between panic attacks and vomiting is unpleasant for sure; also it is underestimated. It's a good motivation to quit smoking. Are you prescribed beta-blockers? Benzos are still a first-line treatment for acute panic reactions. I hope you feel better soon.

Trump is a douche. I'd be glad to be fired by him. Even his own sons and daughter are telling him to stfu.
 
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