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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

EADD Theology Megathread

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George Carlin - Religion is bullshit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MeSSwKffj9o

Of course, standard religion is bullshit. Wait till I'm finished writing this Serpent Bible though, it'll put all other religions to shame. BOW DOWN TO THE SNAKE-GOD MUTHAFUCKA (that's going to be the tag-line on the front of the book) I just need a catchier name. Christianity has a nice ring to it, Judaism & Islam as well. Snakism doesn't quite cut it. Any ideas? I wish the fucker had a name. I bet he does (the snake-god is definitely a he, none of this "he's both" patter in Serpianity) & they just left it out the bible.
 
Jess: Actually Caduceus is not generally thought to be the snake god. Perhaps one of the component parts though. Snake-god predated Xtianity by quite some time and - as with the pre-Biblical gods that made up "Yahweh" - they are multifold.

It's not at all Gnostic theology either. It's just basic history. Seriously. You're quite into the ins-and-outs of translations and stuff and that's where you find the evidence really. It's basically from those rather dry but properly scholarly texts that standard Biblical stuff is knitted together from. The stuff folk like yer Archbishops and yer Popes and the like talk about but your bogstandard vicar knows nowt about cos it confuses and upsets the pew-warmers ;)
 
YES we need a religion thread......stop this one getting clogged and totally derailed.

Someone do the honours
 
Trevor the Eden Snake? Hmm, I can deal with that. Big Trev loves an apple & he wants you to love them too.


Hes not really called Trevor he's Satan. Re 12:7-9 "Michael and his angels fought against the dragon, and the dragon fought and his angels, but they did not prevail, nor was place yet found for them in heaven, and the great dragon was cast out the old serpent being called Devil and Satan is deceiving the whole inhabited world was cast onto the earth and his angels were cast with him."


I will never let an apple pass my lips. Never.


THis might interest you PTCH.. further serpentry in OT.

http://niv.scripturetext.com/numbers/21.htm
 
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Since when was the Eden snake Satan, Jess? It's a stretch and you know it. Mind you, you can essentially make up any ol' shite and find a Biblical verse to confirm it 8);)<3

Trevor's not a bad name at all ferra snake. Makes me think of Trevor the Trouser Snake, mind :D
 
In fact, I can prove that Trevor wasn't Satan using your own book.

Genesis 3:14 [T]he Lord God said to the serpent, “Because you have done this, cursed are you above all the livestock and all the wild animals! You will crawl on your belly and you will eat dust all the days of your life.

He rips off Trev's legs & makes him crawl on his belly (dick move again).

Later on, Satan rocks up on his feet while snakes are still crawling about.

Job 1:6 When the day came for the heavenly beings to appear before the Lord, Satan was there among them.7 The Lord asked him, "What have you been doing?" Satan answered, "I have been walking here and there, roaming around the earth."


Read yer book before you badmouth Trevor like that.

Right, I'm away to get started on The Book of Trevor (the story god didn't want you to hear!). I've decided it doesn't need to be a whole new bible, just an additional part. In it Trevor will explain why god is a dick & he is cooshty.

Reason 1 - Trevor doesn't tell lies.
 
holly fuck........................i can only imagine how bad being on the brew must be if your turned to reading the bible....even if it is just to tear it to shreds.

Actually its an illustration of how bad day time tv is.
 
I won at Religion once at sunday school.
Fuk i actually went to Sunday School kin ell that's to much .

Only went a coupke of times cos my Dad didn't do Church n i protested that if he didn't then why did i have to ? I must have been all of 4.
I think it was so that i could get in the local C of E school . Well they all were back in the 70s/early 80s .

Assembly with the Lords Prayer & Hymns every day no one blinked it was just standard back then .
Ain't like that these days 8(
 
You're seriously missing a trick, Swedge. The Bible is truly an epic read. As long as you take it as literature and/or an interesting historical artifact. Fukkin great for a good-natured (yet heated) debate too :D

Trevor the Snake God? Call me a convert, PTCH ;)

(actually don't but bet it'd make a great read :D)
 
i was forced into sunday school and shit till i was 15 or something daft. Result:- Total atheist. Really dont like going to church events at all and make a point of standing blankly and never utter a word when there's hymn on the go.

I totally respect folk that use their religion to get through day to day life. It would be a great crutch if you believed in it all. I dont so use drugs instead.
 
Since when was the Eden snake Satan, Jess? It's a stretch and you know it. Mind you, you can essentially make up any ol' shite and find a Biblical verse to confirm it 8);)<3

Trevor's not a bad name at all ferra snake. Makes me think of Trevor the Trouser Snake, mind :D

No really I didn't stretch anything I've always thought of the Eden Snake as being Satan. Granted I only really connect it to the verse I quoted earlier so I shall have to do a bit of Trevor research myself I reckon.
 
i was forced into sunday school and shit till i was 15 or something daft. Result:- Total atheist. Really dont like going to church events at all and make a point of standing blankly and never utter a word when there's hymn on the go.

I totally respect folk that use their religion to get through day to day life. It would be a great crutch if you believed in it all. I dont so use drugs instead.

What were you forced with a blunt instrument , Eternal Damnation sounds fukin harsh ?

AT 15 i was coming down from Raves on a Sunday Morning
 
Alright people, the clutter in the pix thread was getting absurd so here you go - get your theological chat done in here :)

Disclaimer: this is a topic that can provoke strong feelings in many people so if things do get heated please take a deep breath and keep it civil, and try not to get easily offended :D
 
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