steewith2ees
Bluelight Crew
Its best you dont hex - my head was in a similar position to yours when I finally got sucked into full time dependency. Id been using it as an after - club tool for a couple pf years before that - we would only use it once on the sunday after sesh had run out of steam - of course, after having to put up with heavy stim comedowns for years Sundays became too much of a feature of the whole weekend - we would carry on with the music and whizz through till sunday afternoon (or Saturday if wed been Godskitchen - the best regular Friday night Birmingham ever had - once they moved it to a Saturday it lost some of its USP and went downhill from there). It became to easy to mange ones mood - as I said, wed get through a few pills while out dancing but as you are aware after 3 or 4 you its pointless taking any more as you dont roll off then properly - they just turn into dirty trippy speed pills as your serotonin tuns out and all the ees metabolise into mda) So, once the last pill would start to wear off we would just hit the speed full on and as the house my missus and I lived in was massive (she owned it) the after sesh would always end up back at ours, with a nice noise making system complete with mixer and 2 1200 Mk 2 Turntables with a vinyl dance record collection that ranged from classic reggae cuts through to techno, trance, through to 12 years worth of hardcore records covering rave classics through to the best in up front drum and bass, hard and intelligent/liquid. Add to this all the pre - recorded dance music you could ever ask for made our gaff into a personal after club nirvana for those obsessed with dancing and electronic music such as myself. We would always carry on with plenty of speed and weed - I've never taken ketamine and I always came in from a dance just bursting with verbal diarrhea. With no dissociatives to knock everyone out the stimulants and music on offer (i would always put on a selection to reflect whatever we had just been listening to while out) meant everyone could stay awake to listen to my shit and be able to enthusiastically respond to a further 6 hours of it or so. Of course, everyone else would run out of things to say long before I did but - no problem - as my girlfreind and I were Registered Nurses at the time we always had hundreds of diazepam and clonazepam so as soon as people had their fill they would normally bring proceedings to a close with a knockout benzo dose.
By mid afternoon the house guests would have generally dissipated and with just my partner and my closest friends left we would then go for comedown cure level 2 and get the heroin out. When it gets to the stage where your looking forward to the sunday after session as much as your looking forward to the night out, you know somethings not quite right.
But apart from the odd day here and there I maintained this routine for 18 months. At the end of the day, I was a qualified nurse so I knew better than to use it more than once a week. I was above everybody else - Id been treating heroin addicts for 5 years in various professional health care settings so I knew I would never be stupid enough to become physically dependent on the drug. Why would I ever be that stupid - even the biggest moron knows that taking heroin more than 2 or 3 times almost guarantees future problems with the stuff.
But I knew better than everyone else and I had my routine so my heroin use was controlled and justified.
Then it happened. It happens to everyone but in my case it was down to a serious betrayal by my best friend of 22 years, his missus and my partner. I ended up off sick from work with depression, real depression, for once this wasnt drug related. So with six months off work with nothing to do while earning £24,000pa as 26 year old, guess what happened next. I even got it into my head that once the cunts who had turned my life upside down saw how upset and fucked up I was they would realise how much they had hurt me (without actually explaining the situation imagine suffering a close bereavement that no one else cares about). Of course, they couldnt give a fuck, and by the summer of 2005 I was smoking an 8 ball every 3 days and completely fucked. It took an arrest for possession, my subsequent resignation from my nursing job that finally forced me to cold turkey for the first time in May 2007 after 27 months of almost daily use as I finally ran out of money. Despite remaining clean I was struck off from the NMC's professional register in October 2008. I relapsed for 6 months in 2010 but managed to get clean just before the drought and managed to stay clean and in work until the summer of 2013.
Sorry for such a long post, alot of this was supposed to go in PM for Hex, but I was given 2 sample rocks of crack with my heroin purchase yesterday. I dont as a rule buy cocaine in any form but of course I never refuse a line or pipe if offered. So i thought Id save the whites for this morning - Im always up by 5 due to my mom, and I need to be cracking on with the housework by 9am at the latest - I thought the crack (which was uncharacteristically gorgeous by the way) would go down well with my coffee and sharpen me up for a couple of hours of Playstation before I start the housework. Instead its lead to this rambling monster of a post, and with its pathetic duration of action, I can feel my eyes start to sag again from all the weed and gear I smoked last night. Going to have to go and hit the coffee hard. Ive got homework to do this afternoon my maths exam is next week and Im planning to spend tomorrow and sunday getting stoned and watching films followed by you know what on the evenings
By mid afternoon the house guests would have generally dissipated and with just my partner and my closest friends left we would then go for comedown cure level 2 and get the heroin out. When it gets to the stage where your looking forward to the sunday after session as much as your looking forward to the night out, you know somethings not quite right.
But apart from the odd day here and there I maintained this routine for 18 months. At the end of the day, I was a qualified nurse so I knew better than to use it more than once a week. I was above everybody else - Id been treating heroin addicts for 5 years in various professional health care settings so I knew I would never be stupid enough to become physically dependent on the drug. Why would I ever be that stupid - even the biggest moron knows that taking heroin more than 2 or 3 times almost guarantees future problems with the stuff.
But I knew better than everyone else and I had my routine so my heroin use was controlled and justified.
Then it happened. It happens to everyone but in my case it was down to a serious betrayal by my best friend of 22 years, his missus and my partner. I ended up off sick from work with depression, real depression, for once this wasnt drug related. So with six months off work with nothing to do while earning £24,000pa as 26 year old, guess what happened next. I even got it into my head that once the cunts who had turned my life upside down saw how upset and fucked up I was they would realise how much they had hurt me (without actually explaining the situation imagine suffering a close bereavement that no one else cares about). Of course, they couldnt give a fuck, and by the summer of 2005 I was smoking an 8 ball every 3 days and completely fucked. It took an arrest for possession, my subsequent resignation from my nursing job that finally forced me to cold turkey for the first time in May 2007 after 27 months of almost daily use as I finally ran out of money. Despite remaining clean I was struck off from the NMC's professional register in October 2008. I relapsed for 6 months in 2010 but managed to get clean just before the drought and managed to stay clean and in work until the summer of 2013.
Sorry for such a long post, alot of this was supposed to go in PM for Hex, but I was given 2 sample rocks of crack with my heroin purchase yesterday. I dont as a rule buy cocaine in any form but of course I never refuse a line or pipe if offered. So i thought Id save the whites for this morning - Im always up by 5 due to my mom, and I need to be cracking on with the housework by 9am at the latest - I thought the crack (which was uncharacteristically gorgeous by the way) would go down well with my coffee and sharpen me up for a couple of hours of Playstation before I start the housework. Instead its lead to this rambling monster of a post, and with its pathetic duration of action, I can feel my eyes start to sag again from all the weed and gear I smoked last night. Going to have to go and hit the coffee hard. Ive got homework to do this afternoon my maths exam is next week and Im planning to spend tomorrow and sunday getting stoned and watching films followed by you know what on the evenings
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
