...long distances? iv'e been out the country 2-3 times to places i knew no one or spoke the language but still scored in days..all though the worst was when i was down in somerset popping handfull of df118's that only just took the edge off an 1/8th a day...i got a cab to london 150quid 2000 it was the new millenium.bolloxs
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EADD Heroin discussion v.21 -- Big shout out to kkattastic :)
- Thread starter AndyNRTH
- Start date
PredatorVision
Bluelighter
Done three days now since my last hit, over the worst of it, had a fucking horrible time so far in this withnail and I hovel first two, today though I feel a bit better, coming back early on Sunday as I got word that a job I applied to was actually successful and I start on monday, so hopefully I'll only be a little goosebumped and such by then, day 6 and all can usually muster enough energy to do shit. But as is today day 3.6 I feel so fatigued I barely made it to Kendal by bus but thought I better get some exercise and food in me.
Speaking of long distances a guy I know with a really bad combo of benzo/H/methadone habits in his mid 30's went all the way to New Zeland to detox and managed about half the flight before he unplugged his stash and did a load of it in the plane toilet before getting on a flight directly back.
If I had say 180mg of codeine when I get back sunday (just to get some damn sleep) will it fuck up my 5 days already of withdrawal or will I be ok? this is literally all I have left of codeine and I don't have any money whatsoever to score any H or anything else so there's 0 risk till the end of the month of me relapsing. Also don't want to turn up first day of work rattling.
Speaking of long distances a guy I know with a really bad combo of benzo/H/methadone habits in his mid 30's went all the way to New Zeland to detox and managed about half the flight before he unplugged his stash and did a load of it in the plane toilet before getting on a flight directly back.
If I had say 180mg of codeine when I get back sunday (just to get some damn sleep) will it fuck up my 5 days already of withdrawal or will I be ok? this is literally all I have left of codeine and I don't have any money whatsoever to score any H or anything else so there's 0 risk till the end of the month of me relapsing. Also don't want to turn up first day of work rattling.
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Longest distance i did was back in 2003. I got a flight back from Majorca to Stansted where my friend picked me up and we went to our usual dealer in Cambridge and scored enough for the night. Stayed at my mates for couple of days then scored again and took it to Majorca with me. Did it 2-3 times that summer when money was no problem after selling my house. No doubt if i tried i may have found a contact in Majorca but all i found was Ecstacy & weed at the time.
BecomingJulie
Bluelight Crew
Now you have done 3 days, it ought to be starting to hurt a bit less. Your glands are producing endorphins again, just not at the same rate as your μ-receptors have got used to while you were taking exogenous opioids. You probably will even feel up to taking a shower or eating something.
This is "don't blow it" time. Because anything else you take now is likely to set you all the way back to square one. Stay strong.
This is "don't blow it" time. Because anything else you take now is likely to set you all the way back to square one. Stay strong.
steewith2ees
Bluelight Crew
hehe the crusty that sorted it called it that - it used to be reffered to as 'manali' in the dam so thats where he probably got that one from.
smackydowners
Bluelighter
predator vision - i was really advise you not to take the codeine at all. it'll just fix you up for a couple of hours, then you'l be set back quite a bit.
trip2themoon
Bluelighter
Does Suboxone produce withdrawals if you have Methadone in your system? If you were to take Methadone the day after your last smoke, instead of waiting 48 hours before using Suboxone and then take a subbie the next day? Because Methadone is synthetic I was hoping it would react differently to other opiates in your system.
5StarSquatHotel
Bluelighter
You might get away with it as its a one off dose. If you take it every day its a different story, I waited 48 hours and still was thrown into w/d -one of the worst in fact, you cant do anything about it as the bupe will block any opiates.
Badboy Brimz, I was trying to contact you not so long back, how you keeping these days?
BecomingJulie
Bluelight Crew
Methadone is displaced by buprenorphine, so you shouldn't really take the Suboxone until you're already withdrawing from the methadone.
Methadone withdrawals brought on by taking Suboxone too soon probably won't be quite as bad as heroin withdrawals brought on by taking Suboxone too soon, because methadone doesn't have as much effect on them as heroin (which has way more of an effect than buprenorphine) although it wouldn't be a good idea. Seriously, wait as long as you can bear before starting on Suboxone; then take each dose at absolutely regular intervals.
5StarSquatHotel
Bluelighter
I am not sure on that, when I went into p/w's it was one of the worst clucks I ever had and I have been through horrific rattles back in the day. I am happy to stay clean off opiates 'bar the butrans patch' and I am glad, gear is just not worth it, its a lot better than it was it seems but still nothing special.
PredatorVision
Bluelighter
righty ho, don't feel physically addicted anymore, managed to sleep last night and woke up with the bare hint of a shiver, feel like i've got energy too! Mentally is another story, think I'm going to start taking MDMA on weekends again once I start working.. I was fine doing that for years and never needed H until about last November when various elements of my life (long term relationship, friendships housing arrangements etc completely imploded and my life as I knew it fell apart). Agreed going to put the codeine in my parents medicine cabinet and leave it there in-case someone in my family has flu or some such. Despite the inherent-depression waking up for the first time in months and not immidiatly thinking "oh fuck i'm addicted to Heroin" which was my first thought every morning is such a relief it almost defeats the PAWS, more so I have a Job and a date next friday waiting for me back home, things are definately looking up... if I continue to chip (which might realistically happen) i'm going to try and keep it to no more than a half a gram at a weekend, and NEVER let it become my daily routine again, that is if I do chip at all which would be a worse case scenario anyway.Fuck just sat in the sun reading a book, I can appreciate doing such an inane thing without being on junk feels amazing.
sorry to the old hands who've seen me whinge in this thread a lot, my addiction has been NOTHING compared to what some of you must have been/are going through, I can't imagine what it's like trying to come off after years rather than months, hats off to all you guys.
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steewith2ees
Bluelight Crew
Well done PV - even if your not 100% yet the fact that you managed to get a nights sleep shows your on the mend. Now your getting well its natural to want to get back into positive routines and social situations but dont rush things. Of course its better to be out bouncing around on md rather than turn into a trampy old horse faced junk fuck like me, but take it easy - mdma / clubbing hangovers are what started me using heroin regularly and could be a potential relapse trigger, especially during the early days.
As for chipping.... well, I wouldnt advise it at this stage anyway. If you have accepted your addiction then you must have some insight into how difficult it is to control ones use. Id say for those that are recovering from a proper habit, the chances of a full blown relapse if you continue to chip are around the 100% mark. After I developed a full blown habit in 2004, I used for 3 continuous years untill I was arrested, sacked from my job and struck off. I then had to do my first rattle in the spring of 2007 once all my money ran out. Despite the fact that I was no longer physically addicted to heroin, I never stopped chipping, and with a reduced tolerance and with the world under the impression I was 'clean' I managed to overdose in my girlfriends bathroom with about 10 other people in the house.
Despite this, I still didnt stop chipping - I managed to go a month without using a couple of times but never any longer than that. When my girlfriend decided to punish me for my very occasional but contiuing heroin use by sleeping with someone else and throwing me out (may 2010) i relapsed completely for four months, after which I did another cold turkey by heading off to Crete fot 2 weeks.
But even after getting home - I still carried on chipping! This time however i was saved from a full relapse by the drought, which gave me a full 6 month break and a chance to sort out a good job and things with the girlfriend. But once the heroin was back, the chipping started again. I managed to keep my use as infrequent as possible but by the spring of 2013 my personal and professional life suffered a complete collapse, leaving me with no girlfriend, an untenable postion at work and no other choice other than to return to my parents home at the age of thirty - four - to find my mother dementing from her alcoholism. I relapsed completely again, and despite several attempts, i couldnt make it through a full cold turkey this time around due to my mothers constant needs and her challenging behaviour.
With no money to sustain my habit, I maintained myself on AH-7921 for a couple of months, but after 10 years of revolving door dependence, I finally diid the 'adult' thing and surrendered myself to drug treatment and methadone maintenance, where I remain today, going nowhere faster than Ive ever achieved on my own.
Sorry for yet another long winded and boring post - but I just want to stress that for most ex addicts, chipping is ultimately unsustainable and will likely lead to a full relapse if not next week or next month, at some point.
PredatorVision - you deserve to pat yourself on the back for what you have achieved so far but give your mind and body a rest for a month or 2 before exposing yourself to any drugs and bear in mind what ive said before using again - getting clean is hard but do - able. Based on my own eexperiences so far staying clean has been impossible, even with what turned out to be a 3 year break from total dependency in the middlle of it all
Sorry for wittering on but Im here to share and bore and Im entertained by the sound of my own voice.
Stee
As for chipping.... well, I wouldnt advise it at this stage anyway. If you have accepted your addiction then you must have some insight into how difficult it is to control ones use. Id say for those that are recovering from a proper habit, the chances of a full blown relapse if you continue to chip are around the 100% mark. After I developed a full blown habit in 2004, I used for 3 continuous years untill I was arrested, sacked from my job and struck off. I then had to do my first rattle in the spring of 2007 once all my money ran out. Despite the fact that I was no longer physically addicted to heroin, I never stopped chipping, and with a reduced tolerance and with the world under the impression I was 'clean' I managed to overdose in my girlfriends bathroom with about 10 other people in the house.
Despite this, I still didnt stop chipping - I managed to go a month without using a couple of times but never any longer than that. When my girlfriend decided to punish me for my very occasional but contiuing heroin use by sleeping with someone else and throwing me out (may 2010) i relapsed completely for four months, after which I did another cold turkey by heading off to Crete fot 2 weeks.
But even after getting home - I still carried on chipping! This time however i was saved from a full relapse by the drought, which gave me a full 6 month break and a chance to sort out a good job and things with the girlfriend. But once the heroin was back, the chipping started again. I managed to keep my use as infrequent as possible but by the spring of 2013 my personal and professional life suffered a complete collapse, leaving me with no girlfriend, an untenable postion at work and no other choice other than to return to my parents home at the age of thirty - four - to find my mother dementing from her alcoholism. I relapsed completely again, and despite several attempts, i couldnt make it through a full cold turkey this time around due to my mothers constant needs and her challenging behaviour.
With no money to sustain my habit, I maintained myself on AH-7921 for a couple of months, but after 10 years of revolving door dependence, I finally diid the 'adult' thing and surrendered myself to drug treatment and methadone maintenance, where I remain today, going nowhere faster than Ive ever achieved on my own.
Sorry for yet another long winded and boring post - but I just want to stress that for most ex addicts, chipping is ultimately unsustainable and will likely lead to a full relapse if not next week or next month, at some point.
PredatorVision - you deserve to pat yourself on the back for what you have achieved so far but give your mind and body a rest for a month or 2 before exposing yourself to any drugs and bear in mind what ive said before using again - getting clean is hard but do - able. Based on my own eexperiences so far staying clean has been impossible, even with what turned out to be a 3 year break from total dependency in the middlle of it all
Sorry for wittering on but Im here to share and bore and Im entertained by the sound of my own voice.
Stee
F.U.B.A.R.
Bluelight Crew
Everything Stee said is spot on. Just want to add that you seem to have got off lightly so far - even mild rattles have taken me 5+ days before I started feeling even slightly better. Also, every rattle seems worse than the one before. I really wish I'd stopped after my first one... Also, the fact that you're even contemplating chipping already shows that it's still in your head, which is exceedingly dangerous and WILL eventually result in habitual use again.
kkattastic
Bluelighter
before i went to prison,all i used to get was 'do you have cheese?','like cheese is the bast,man'
truth is i had 4 different strains that would satisfy any of them,but they just had been somehow brainwashed into this 'cheese' thing
still get it now and i haven't beennear any street drugs for probably about a year
truth is i had 4 different strains that would satisfy any of them,but they just had been somehow brainwashed into this 'cheese' thing
still get it now and i haven't beennear any street drugs for probably about a year
PredatorVision
Bluelighter
I went in my first day of work at my new job, still rattling a bit but not too bad, should be easier tomorrow, really need to find hobbies again..
There is some lovely gear going around the Cambs area at the moment.
The last batch was nice but this is even better. It is a quite pale coloured powder which turns into a nice dark beetle. It runs well and has that taste that addicts grow to love.
The last batch was nice but this is even better. It is a quite pale coloured powder which turns into a nice dark beetle. It runs well and has that taste that addicts grow to love.
BecomingJulie
Bluelight Crew
The "every cluck is worse than the one before" thing is a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Set and setting count every bit as much for discontinuing drug use as for taking drugs. If you expect it to be rough, it will be.
The Montoya Method: Get an assistant (because you won't be able to do this by yourself) to ration you to one used tooter (with maximum bonus beetle) or equivalent a day for 2 - 3 days after you have used up the last of your stash, eke this out as best you can, spend as little time as possible awake (even valerian-based herbal sleepers, available OTC from health food stores, are better than nothing; but proper valium or, if you can get it, mogadon would be the best) and keep telling yourself everything is going to be alright. Unless you're one of those strange people who have a bad time on weed, keep smoking it and maybe eat some at bedtime (with something fatty to help your body absorb it).
You are actually topping-up as your endorphin factory recovers; so your WD's should peak on day 2 or 3 after stopping and then you will be over the worst.
Smoking up my entire stash in one go actually leaves me (pretty much) fine the following day, but my scoring arrangements are not exactly conducive to buying small amounts unless I am on a third-party scoring mission. If only I had the willpower not to be greedy and insist on using it day after day .....
The Montoya Method: Get an assistant (because you won't be able to do this by yourself) to ration you to one used tooter (with maximum bonus beetle) or equivalent a day for 2 - 3 days after you have used up the last of your stash, eke this out as best you can, spend as little time as possible awake (even valerian-based herbal sleepers, available OTC from health food stores, are better than nothing; but proper valium or, if you can get it, mogadon would be the best) and keep telling yourself everything is going to be alright. Unless you're one of those strange people who have a bad time on weed, keep smoking it and maybe eat some at bedtime (with something fatty to help your body absorb it).
You are actually topping-up as your endorphin factory recovers; so your WD's should peak on day 2 or 3 after stopping and then you will be over the worst.
Smoking up my entire stash in one go actually leaves me (pretty much) fine the following day, but my scoring arrangements are not exactly conducive to buying small amounts unless I am on a third-party scoring mission. If only I had the willpower not to be greedy and insist on using it day after day .....
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PredatorVision
Bluelighter
I've not been completely clean since I went through my full withdrawal a couple of weeks ago, last friday I got a .8, rattled a bit again but could get to work and was fine by monday, bought a half gram for tonight, going to go down to a .4 next weekend and then try nothing after that.
kkattastic
Bluelighter
But if you are maintaining some control,it's a positive step.you just have to stick with it.
Us addicts are always going to be addicts,just not using that day
Us addicts are always going to be addicts,just not using that day
hexagram
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2012
- Messages
- 1,712
Has anyone else had the no4 china white I got twice last week?
it's my first time with heroin. And I have to say I fucking loved it. Only problem is the nausea, and if you underdose it can be kind of underwhelming.
But when I got the first 'nod'. And I was just writhing around my bed in sleepy pleasure.
It remninded me a lot of the benzo and booze high. but 'rushier' with more body sensations, and stronger.
I could see how people could loose their lives to it.
it's my first time with heroin. And I have to say I fucking loved it. Only problem is the nausea, and if you underdose it can be kind of underwhelming.
But when I got the first 'nod'. And I was just writhing around my bed in sleepy pleasure.
It remninded me a lot of the benzo and booze high. but 'rushier' with more body sensations, and stronger.
I could see how people could loose their lives to it.