I've read all of your replies to me, and I have a lot of thoughts going around my head of what I want to say in reply to them, but at the moment i'm just not in the right head space to write them down. I just wanted to acknowledge them, and thank you for reading and giving a response, there really is nobody else I can sound off to.
Things have been manic the past few weeks, and are only just starting to calm down now We've had a boy with us who's been spending 250 quid, ordering sometimes as much as 15 and 15, other times 12 and 12 (my usual order is 6 and 6, at the most 8 and 8) as many times as the cash-point will allow him to withdraw his limits, even transferring money to my account to get around it, all of the drugs equally shared with me and my boyfriend. However, that's over. The boy is a friend, but he's also a pathological liar, he went AWOL for the past couple days, and had me genuinely worried about him, as he has two warrants out for him, turns out he was staying with someone we know, just didn't have the bollocks to tell us. I've had it out with him since, in a cruel to be kind way, I don't like the police knocking the door, OR CID turning up. They tracked a phone number he was using to a sim card that used to belong to my BF, AND that he was withdrawing money on a cash point on our road. He's recently had an inheritance, hence the money. But, it's okay for him, he's recently come out of Rehab, that he paid for, that's his pattern, relapse, pay 7 grand for rehab, repeat. This time it's a jail rehab I think, no comforts there.
It eventually got two much, and me and the boy were two days into a cluck, until using today (just one and one each twice, telling ourselves we're tapering.) It was just getting ridiculous, and my body literally didn't have a vein left, so I was back to my groin, something I said I'd never go back to after only using it for a week in the past.
I will reply to each of you properly when my head has stopped spinning, and I'll offer whatever support back I can to you as well. Thank you for caring...