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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

EADD Heroin discussion v.20 -- You've come a long way baby

Did a stupid thing August bank holiday weekend, only went and forgot to pick up my Meth on Saturday (I'm supervised weekends except Sunday) being on 85ml was my only saving grace, as I didn't feel the worst of the pain, I can handle the physical, it's the mental side of things I suffer with, until the Sunday as at least my receptors are totally saturated with the green gloop. Also, a mate (who also fucking OD'd in my house the same day, drama drama drama, another 999 call in 2 months to this address for an OD) came and sorted me out with some gear to see me through until Tuesday. I'll never ever make that mistake again. Missing my meth, and not asking my mate how much he'd used combined with valium before coming to my house! He scared the hell out of me, i'm just glad it was me he came to see, as I know some other people he uses with if i'm not in, and they leave it late to call an ambulance, dicks! :| He would have died.

One thing I am getting annoyed with though, is how my Shared Care worker (and not just mine, everyone is complaining about it) seems to have suddenly started drug pushing Methadone trying to get me to go up 10ml each time I tell him I've had a little mess up in my home attempt at kurbing my on top use, which is going just fine on it's own. I'm stable on my dose now, it's just the mental things to deal with now. Being evicted from the hostel (long story) and other stressful things isn't making it much easier, but I'm hanging on in there!
 
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I never know how to respond to your posts these days, because you're living a more intense lifestyle than I could ever handle, and am shit-scared of falling into. Anything I say might come across as useless, banal or preachy.

So all I'll say is I hope the angels who get me out of shit when I stray are watching over you too, and I pray that your strength of character pulls you through.

God bless.
 
@ CCF - been there got the tea shirt - im on 6 day supervised but ive managed to squirrel away 180mls in case i ever miss the chemist on the saturday. Also cherry, if you have a read back through my recent posts my doc is desperate to raise my juice by 10ml - im on 60 at the moment which makes getting high hard enough - 70 would send my tolerance up to maximum and make any further use of heroin on top pointless. Thats the current NICE guidelines they want to find where the blockade takes effect so they can stop your street opiate/opioid use completely. In ten years they've gone from one extreme to the other - in 2001 new patients were generally started on 30ml regardless of habit size, titrating the dose up if needed. Now its the other way round they start at 60 and go up from there - with all new methadone patients going on supervised consumption daily indefinitely (unless your dead good and give nothing but clean samples from day one) the doctors can start playing around with high doses from the start.

Im seeing the doc next weds afternoon so unless i want to end up on 70mls then yesterdays dig will have to be my last for 10 days or so. Theres no point in me using even after i get out of my appointment - if i want to guarantee a high ill have to wait untill the following sunday so i can skip my meth for the 24 hours beforehand
 
To be fair if you want to stop a chaotic lifestyle and gear and go on the green the dose needs to be 80-120mg (depending on weight habit etc etc)its what is called the therapeutic dose and has been common knowledge for years in the medical fraternity, it will block any H buzz and more importantly really ease up the cravings, the problem was that as has been said they always wanted to put you on a low dose usually with a 70mg max which just made it the great enabler it is - and always will be unless they make detoxing the only method of getting a script and stopping MMT.
BTW I was always able to get a buzz after 24h without 'done when i was on 70mg.

Nowadays I normally use about 3 weeks or so then go from 12 tabs (5mg each)dropping 1 a day till I get to 2 tabs (people should realise how easy it is to detox on methadone in 2 weeks if you only have gear in you and no 'done).

Getting 'normal gear' which is rock hard and sandy coloured and pretty good for 110 an 8th .4 will have me nodding and blinding white -like the old days x2 for 15 (.15 each) and from the same peeps proper old school gear same price. It's so nice doing a pipe and getting a sweat on and not being able to do another for 5-10 minutes as too fucked - every other w i have had in E London is the same, v poor more soda than coke.
 
cherrycolouredfunk said:
Did a stupid thing August bank holiday weekend, only went and forgot to pick up my Meth on Saturday (I'm supervised weekends except Sunday) being on 85ml was my only saving grace, as I didn't feel the worst of the pain, I can handle the physical, it's the mental side of things I suffer with, until the Sunday as at least my receptors are totally saturated with the green gloop. Also, a mate (who also fucking OD'd in my house the same day, drama drama drama, another 999 call in 2 months to this address for an OD) came and sorted me out with some gear to see me through until Tuesday. I'll never ever make that mistake again. Missing my meth, and not asking my mate how much he'd used combined with valium before coming to my house! He scared the hell out of me, i'm just glad it was me he came to see, as I know some other people he uses with if i'm not in, and they leave it late to call an ambulance, dicks! :| He would have died.

One thing I am getting annoyed with though, is how my Shared Care worker (and not just mine, everyone is complaining about it) seems to have suddenly started drug pushing Methadone trying to get me to go up 10ml each time I tell him I've had a little mess up in my home attempt at kurbing my on top use, which is going just fine on it's own. I'm stable on my dose now, it's just the mental things to deal with now. Being evicted from the hostel (long story) and other stressful things isn't making it much easier, but I'm hanging on in there!
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You are a good friend!Most people I know,if someone ODs in their place,they will call the ambulance but drag the person outside to a nearby location so the ambulance is not called to your address.Often the police come with the ambulance(they say it is for safety of the ambulance and it's crew but really,they want to know drugs are being used at an address so they can kick your door in when they have a spare few hours and a low arrest rate).Did the police come with the ambulance to your place?Be careful,cos if it's been twice,they may just make an early wake up call at your place-so always have your stash to hand so you can hide it.
 
What happens is that when you dial 999 certain things (like violence or drug use) and certain addresses are flagged up on the computer. When we (the paramedics/ambulance crew) arrive the police will always be there first and enter the property firsg for our safety....some people think that the ambulance crew have called the police but often the first we know about it is when we arrive...we are trained to look for certain things like if there are drugs and drug paraphernalia laying about and there are small children living it the address then we are duty bound to report that as a safeguarding concern for the welfare of the kids....they have really clamped down on that sort of stuff after the baby P scandle....any safeguarding issues are dealt with extremely seriously these days.....I'm sure I dont need to say this but if u are with someone who had overdosed call an ambulance immediately... If u do we can easily save them....if u wait then it may be too late....don't bother trying to move them either it takes too much time and the cops will find out where they have been anyway....in a category A 999 call we will be there in 8 miutes.....don't waste time tying to move someone....their life comes first..
 
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Regarding dope heads (and anyone who takes opiates regularly for whatever reason) losing things....I think its made 1000 times worse if you've taken a benzo as well.....a few weeks ago Ilost my building society savings book and £500 cash after taking my meth pills with some diazepam....found it again but it led to me and my girlfriend splitting up over it (she thought I was making it up cos I didn't want her to visit.....I promptly told her to fuck off.....so she did...haha!!)
 
yeah id defo agree benzos turn me into a dumbass on top of gear so i rarely do them, especially if i have anything to do atall
 
englandgz74 said:
Regarding dope heads (and anyone who takes opiates regularly for whatever reason) losing things....I think its made 1000 times worse if you've taken a benzo as well.....a few weeks ago Ilost my building society savings book and £500 cash after taking my meth pills with some diazepam....found it again but it led to me and my girlfriend splitting up over it (she thought I was making it up cos I didn't want her to visit.....I promptly told her to fuck off.....so she did...haha!!)
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im not as bad now, but during the first couple of years of my habit (when i was still nursing and had loads of dosh ) i was getting thru an 8th of gear every 48 -72 hours (bargin back then at 80 quid a pop) potentiated by a virtually unlimited supply of 2mg roche rivotril clonazepam sweets. how i didnt end up with a dual dependency is beyond me, obviously the gear is still an issue but ive managed to curb the benzos to once or twice a week, and thats generally either diazepam or a long acting rc alternative
 
steewith2ees said:
im not as bad now, but during the first couple of years of my habit (when i was still nursing and had loads of dosh ) i was getting thru an 8th of gear every 48 -72 hours (bargin back then at 80 quid a pop) potentiated by a virtually unlimited supply of 2mg roche rivotril clonazepam sweets. how i didnt end up with a dual dependency is beyond me, obviously the gear is still an issue but ive managed to curb the benzos to once or twice a week, and thats generally either diazepam or a long acting rc alternative
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when i went into prison,i had a clonazepam script.I was prescribed 100 tabs a month,because i would take them,then not take them for a few days and so on,so as not to get a habit.
on entering the prison,i couldn't have them as i wanted them.I had to have them at defined times,or not.so of course i chose to have them.I thought about how I'd gone in with one habit and would come out with another.
But when I came home,I found,to my amazement,that I didn't have this horrible habit that had been described to me.No problem with the benzos whatsoever.
I now take them every day,especially as I had a nasty fit and injured myself,not long ago(also losing all control of bladder and bowel and cracking my head off the wall).I don't know if i have a habit now cos i always take them.they are prescribed to me so i don't really care.
I get my prescriptions for this and my morphine sulphate from my GP,not a drug dependency centre,so no stigma at the pharmacy and mistrust between patient and doctor.
I don't care if I have to take them for the rest of my life.
 
kkattastic said:
when i went into prison,i had a clonazepam script.I was prescribed 100 tabs a month,because i would take them,then not take them for a few days and so on,so as not to get a habit.
on entering the prison,i couldn't have them as i wanted them.I had to have them at defined times,or not.so of course i chose to have them.I thought about how I'd gone in with one habit and would come out with another.
But when I came home,I found,to my amazement,that I didn't have this horrible habit that had been described to me.No problem with the benzos whatsoever.
I now take them every day,especially as I had a nasty fit and injured myself,not long ago(also losing all control of bladder and bowel and cracking my head off the wall).I don't know if i have a habit now cos i always take them.they are prescribed to me so i don't really care.
I get my prescriptions for this and my morphine sulphate from my GP,not a drug dependency centre,so no stigma at the pharmacy and mistrust between patient and doctor.
I don't care if I have to take them for the rest of my life.
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during my stint as a CPN we had this bonkers dutch SHO who was with our team for what seemed like 18 months - he virtually ran his own caseload with little or no supervision from the consultants and had a habit of prescribing copius amounts of Rivotril to most of his patients, regardless of their presentation, whether they were depressed, psychotic or if they had basically any complaint that one would consider as being on the spectrum of mental health problems (He also had an obsession with ADD and by the time he was sacked he had half of his patients on methylphenidate as well). Even in the instances when a benzodiazepine prescription was indicated he shouldnt have been dishing out clonazepam - its only licensed use in the uk is as an anticonvulsant for either emergencies or as a second line medicine in treatment resistant epilepsy. When this all came out our nursing team had to conduct alot of home visits so we could pick up all this unwarrented and unused medication, which we had to chuck in this massive sin bin like box for return to pharmacy for destruction. Now were talking alot of medication of all sorts with no records to show what we were picking up or what we were returning.

Now i shit you not with this next bit - naturally the majority of the clonazepam slowly disappeared out of the bin over the next couple of days while we waited for someone to come and collect it - i ended up with over 700 2mg roche rivotril clonaz (all blister strips of 50 or so) and a few bottles with at least 60 -70 0.5mg tabs between them. You can believe this or not, but over 2 years went past before i had to source any more downers of any kind.

They're still my fave benzodiazepine, but they send my tolerance so high that it makes the use of any other benzo or z-drug use pointless. I now just stick to my modest diazepam prescription and the rc's, but whenever i go abroad anywhere ill always do a bit of doctor shopping and make sure i come back with a decent collection of that sweet sweet clonazepam aurghh schlup schlup.

Long winded off topic post finished. I realise you dont want to know all this but i cant get it off my (very wheezy and rattley) chest anywhere else can i?
 
Last 2 weeks the stone up north has been unbelievable, proper bell ringer off white stuff, easily the best i've had from UK. Glad im not a fan tbh it it woulda ruined me, i bought some last week with a mate and mines just been sitting here till now, fuckin ace stuff! Though will be back to usual shite soon enough i dont doubt. Browns been pretty good as well

Going back on a script on tues, assessment for residental rehab soon and then with a bit of luck i can climb out of this shithole i've dug for myself. Pretty much is my last chance, been waiting for ages for rehab but you cannae go whilst on bail, now im clear of all charges etc finally, got my last bit for tomorrow morning (leaving about 16 hours before i go in to start on a subutex script, should be long enough aye?)
and then i'm done with the lifestyle & off to rehab ASAP (a decent TC one, based around the psychology and pharmacology of drugs and how they affect you/how you can live without it etc; rather than a 12 step one which i wont knock cause i works for people but i think alot of its bollocks). Probably i'll fuck up, maybe i wont: its all on me and this feels like my last chance to get out for good and i'm gonna give it all i can.

But yeah, slightly coke'd up rambling, i dont really come on here anymore & soz for never getting back to anyone who had emailed/messaged me lifes been hectic. Miss you guys i used to chat with or even them like SHM/Isemene who i never really spoke to but posts were always quality. Miss you ponti :( & especially Si, Top bloke hope you're good.

Lol that sounded like a weird goodbye, maybe shoulda posted it on my blog :sus:

If anyones thinking about going into detox or residential rehab and has some questions, or even just looking for more info feel free to shoot me a PM with any Qs, i know a fair bit about it
 
good luck kronos - im hopefully on for a place at the BAC rehab in Burton, Staffs in the new year. i know you need to start cutting your b/l visits if you really want to get drugs off your brain, but let us know how ur getting on if you can

have a good journey. hope to hear from u on the flipside

stee
 
I did a few inpatient detoxes but as soon as i was really clucking,i would discharge myself.theycan't keep you there.
that's how i knew only prison would sort me out
i did use after prison but not all the time
and since i had my mst script,i rarely use at all now
maybe we just grow out of it....eventually
 
Still good stuff 'round these parts but they're so so so much smaller for the price :\
I'm only havin a smoke once every fortnight or so, yet the thought of being on a constant ting is FAR TOO TEMPTING! :\
 
Kronos , done a couple of TC rehabs myself much better than NA run ones, that shit don't sit right with me either ,I'm far more suited to the holistic ones. Hope things work out for you, all the best.

Just got home from working away , got a 8th on its way my pal says it's Good,so have to wait and see ( fucking wants to be, price of it) had no gear for a week so Looking forward to my own bed , stoned.
 
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