EADD Benzo Discussion v.5

[Sammy G]

What do you mean by bi polar type effects ? and doctors talk shite with there 'mights' and 'potentialy' but I've never heard of Benzos causing bi polar

Nor have I. They just don't. Full stop. Bipolar causes bipolar.

Self-medication is extremely common among bipolar people, sure. But bipolar is widely misunderstood. Moodswings alone ain't bipolar. Especially where drugs are involved.

Trust me; it's one of my few areas of expertise.

 

[matt<3ketamine]

Nor have I. They just don't. Full stop. Bipolar causes bipolar.

Self-medication is extremely common among bipolar people, sure. But bipolar is widely misunderstood. Moodswings alone ain't bipolar. Especially where drugs are involved.

Trust me; it's one of my few areas of expertise.

Would the mood swings be part of the benzo abuse then I take it?

I think smoking weed for many years now that it's taking it's toll too

 

[Sammy G]

Would the mood swings be part of the benzo abuse then I take it?

Most definitely. And a benzo moodswing is NOT the same kind of thing as bipolar mood cycles. Which is not to say that benzo rages etc. are any fun - they aren't. I feel for you, man. Try to get it sorted.

I think smoking weed for many years now that it's taking it's toll too

I'd be inclined to say it isn't, but regular breaks often do you the world of good. I've smoked weed all my adult life, and my psychiatrist didn't even regard it as a factor when he diagnosed me as bipolar.

You sound as if a wee break from all / most substances would be a good idea.

 

[matt<3ketamine]

I may well do so then, even if it means being anti social for a wee while to get the mental health back up
I'm prone to benzos rages whenever I haven't had them the few days after, very quick to jump the gun, so break time it is!

Will have to save this seasons mushrooms for a better time, I'll try stopping one day, then 2 and taper until I feel my tolerance and health is normal, I think abusing k hasn't helped either, insides are still dancing an angry samba to happy hardcore

 

[Sammy G]

Yeah, abusing K will fuck you up. And deffo knock the benzos on the head. There's a lot to be said for periods of isolation too. Come back stronger and brighter.

Mushies? Might do you some good, y'know? Work through some 'issues', as the Yanks say...

Good luck Matt.

 

[matt<3ketamine]

Could do with some psychedelic TLC, they do know how to sort underlying problems out (most of the time)

 

[mydrugbuddy]

I been off benzo's for 18 months now and its only after i came off of them and got through the withdrawals that i noticed how much damage was done to my life, my personality and my brain function.

while you are on them its easy not to notice as that is the nature of the beast, a cotton wool wrapped existence.

posts like this scare me. But what if life is nothing but bitter struggle without them, and with them life becomes immensly easier to handle ?

I know where i stand at the moment. I will be trying to reduce my dose,maybe get off them all together, and give it a while to see if i can now cope without them, but if i cant, i wont hesitate to get back on them.

 

[brimz]

posts like this scare me. But what if life is nothing but bitter struggle without them, and with them life becomes immensly easier to handle ?

I know where i stand at the moment. I will be trying to reduce my dose,maybe get off them all together, and give it a while to see if i can now cope without them, but if i cant, i wont hesitate to get back on them.

Yeah but my posts can balance them out .

I had a chat with my \gp about benzo's today n he was off the opinion that folk like meself who have been on em years , as long as we don't abuse them he can't see any problem with prescribing maintenance although he wouldn't start someone on a benzo script for long term but he would give say 4 weeks worth

This Doc is a really good one n has been around since the 70's n knows his stuff .

I am blessed to be with him .

Right i'm off back to the land of nod

 

[Allein]

OK then

I have had a bad reaction to just one temazepam pill, 20mg, it sent me into a weird rebound-state with lots of anxiety (palpitations, high BP, odd aggression and irritability). I had a large benzo habit previously but had thought that I'd kicked it... that single 20mg rekindled it though.

I don't intend to try and state certainties, only stiff based on my experience and what I've learnt.

In your case I see it as quite possible that you triggered an nasty episode buy taking that pill but how much was the actual chemical and how much the proceeding mental health issue can't really be gauged. I see it as quite possible that the entire episode was based on anxiety and panic of a perceived issue.

I'm not playing down the seriousness of the episode merely suggesting that it may just have been the act of taking the pill that precipitated the episode rather than the 20mg of temaz itself.

I may be misunderstanding you point as you talk about a bad reaction to talking the pill, that would certainly seem to be the case but whether it was psychological, physical or a combination of the 2 is unknown.

 

[Allein]

I don't intend to try and state certainties, only stiff based on my experience and what I've learnt.

In your case I see it as quite possible that you triggered an nasty episode buy taking that pill but how much was the actual chemical and how much the proceeding mental health issue can't really be gauged. I see it as quite possible that the entire episode was based on anxiety and panic of a perceived issue.

I'm not playing down the seriousness of the episode merely suggesting that it may just have been the act of taking the pill that precipitated the episode rather than the 20mg of temaz itself.

I may be misunderstanding you point as you talk about a bad reaction to talking the pill, that would certainly seem to be the case but whether it was psychological, physical or a combination of the 2 is unknown.

But congrats on managing to do a job that "requires a significant amount of technical understanding and the ability to pick up new technology and be able to develop around it at a rapid rate", that sounds like quite the handful! Well done!

Sometimes your tone is unhelpful and some what aggressive, If you think I'm bragging about my work your a long way from the truth, but given my past drug use and mental health issues many would not expect me to have managed to maintain a career spanning 25 years, I left school at 16 and home at 18 and have managed to achieve a decent level of employment given my lack of ambition. The reason I raised the issue was to show that whilst Benzo, alcohol and various other drug habits may have taken their toll on top of fairly significant mental health issues I still hold down a complex and demanding job, so the damage seems limited, I know MDB has had concerns about this issue.

I started out in a grimy bedsit with a matress on the floor and no heating, I worked the bins, loaded lorries and delivered Pizza to name a few early jobs, I fortunate in having some abilities to learn new technology, I was travelling Europe supporting sat comms by 21, work gives me some stability and that combined with lucky inherited ability has provided me with what I consider a reasonably interesting and well paid job, there is no shame in that, in the main it is down to my own hard work, I provide for a wife and 2 kids and have know poverty and have no wish to live that way.

During my last job I had a full break down requiring secure care and couldn't work for more than 3 months but still returned to that job, it was hard, people don't know what to say or how to treat you but again I share that experience in the hope others may get some benefit from reading it.

I moved on after 12 months having been head hunted to another role, I've always tried to be fair and just in my dealings at work, I don't shit on others to gain success.

If you find me talking about that a little crass so be it, it was posted with the best intentions and I'm not going to lie about my job for fear of people's reactions. Success isn't about position or money for me although in practical terms they play a part, I'm just (mostly) satisfied that I am able to utilise the few talents I have and keep myself busy and my provide an reasonable standard of living for my family.

If I lost my job tomorrow I would have no issues with doing whatever work I could get to pay the bills.

Is any of that a problem ....Mr Grumpy

 

[lurching]

Sometimes your tone is unhelpful and some what aggressive, If you think I'm bragging about my work your a long way from the truth, but given my past drug use and mental health issues many would not expect me to have managed to maintain a career spanning 25 years, I left school at 16 and home at 18 and have managed to achieve a decent level of employment given my lack of ambition. The reason I raised the issue was to show that whilst Benzo, alcohol and various other drug habits may have taken their toll on top of fairly significant mental health issues I still hold down a complex and demanding job, so the damage seems limited, I know MDB has had concerns about this issue.

I started out in a grimy bedsit with a matress on the floor and no heating, I worked the bins, loaded lorries and delivered Pizza to name a few early jobs, I fortunate in having some abilities to learn new technology, I was travelling Europe supporting sat comms by 21, work gives me some stability and that combined with lucky inherited ability has provided me with what I consider a reasonably interesting and well paid job, there is no shame in that, in the main it is down to my own hard work, I provide for a wife and 2 kids and have know poverty and have no wish to live that way.

During my last job I had a full break down requiring secure care and couldn't work for more than 3 months but still returned to that job, it was hard, people don't know what to say or how to treat you but again I share that experience in the hope others may get some benefit from reading it.

I moved on after 12 months having been head hunted to another role, I've always tried to be fair and just in my dealings at work, I don't shit on others to gain success.

If you find me talking about that a little crass so be it, it was posted with the best intentions and I'm not going to lie about my job for fear of people's reactions. Success isn't about position or money for me although in practical terms they play a part, I'm just (mostly) satisfied that I am able to utilise the few talents I have and keep myself busy and my provide an reasonable standard of living for my family.

If I lost my job tomorrow I would have no issues with doing whatever work I could get to pay the bills.

Is any of that a problem ....Mr Grumpy

did you just sign that post as Mr Grumpy?

The reason I raised the issue was to show that whilst Benzo, alcohol and various other drug habits may have taken their toll on top of fairly significant mental health issues I still hold down a complex and demanding job, so the damage seems limited

"I still hold down a complex and demanding job, so the damage seems limited" doesn't prove much about benzo's (neuro)toxicity or long term effects in general.

 

[brimz]

Sometimes your tone is unhelpful and some what aggressive, If you think I'm bragging about my work your a long way from the truth, but given my past drug use and mental health issues many would not expect me to have managed to maintain a career spanning 25 years, I left school at 16 and home at 18 and have managed to achieve a decent level of employment given my lack of ambition. The reason I raised the issue was to show that whilst Benzo, alcohol and various other drug habits may have taken their toll on top of fairly significant mental health issues I still hold down a complex and demanding job, so the damage seems limited, I know MDB has had concerns about this issue.

I started out in a grimy bedsit with a matress on the floor and no heating, I worked the bins, loaded lorries and delivered Pizza to name a few early jobs, I fortunate in having some abilities to learn new technology, I was travelling Europe supporting sat comms by 21, work gives me some stability and that combined with lucky inherited ability has provided me with what I consider a reasonably interesting and well paid job, there is no shame in that, in the main it is down to my own hard work, I provide for a wife and 2 kids and have know poverty and have no wish to live that way.

During my last job I had a full break down requiring secure care and couldn't work for more than 3 months but still returned to that job, it was hard, people don't know what to say or how to treat you but again I share that experience in the hope others may get some benefit from reading it.

I moved on after 12 months having been head hunted to another role, I've always tried to be fair and just in my dealings at work, I don't shit on others to gain success.

If you find me talking about that a little crass so be it, it was posted with the best intentions and I'm not going to lie about my job for fear of people's reactions. Success isn't about position or money for me although in practical terms they play a part, I'm just (mostly) satisfied that I am able to utilise the few talents I have and keep myself busy and my provide an reasonable standard of living for my family.

If I lost my job tomorrow I would have no issues with doing whatever work I could get to pay the bills.

Is any of that a problem ....Mr Grumpy

I still luv ya , Mr Grumpy

 

[Allein]

r Lurchings

I still luv ya , Mr Grumpy

Reespec right back atcha, I'm not always the most eloquent of posters, and in this case it seems I have come over a little crass, if stating you have a challenging technical job could be considered in that way.

I try to be as open and onset as I can, I rarely intend to present my views as fact but I am keen to share opinions and experiences here as I find it useful and hopefully some of the time other do as well.

I'm also OK to be challenged and criticised, I may not always be happy about it but I try and take it on-board although in this case I really don't get Mr Lurchings issue with my words, would he prefer in if a lied an said I struggle to hold down a trolley collection job at Aldi ??? I did that for a while but for Victor Value:D

 

[brimz]

I know where you are coming from well most of the time . How long you been off the booze now mate ?

I told my GP that i had quit drinking, today n he was very pleased for me .

 

[Allein]

"I still hold down a complex and demanding job, so the damage seems limited" doesn't prove much about benzo's (neuro)toxicity or long term effects in general.

I disagree, if my congnative function had been badly damaged it would be noticeable in my work, my memory is also, seemingly unaffected. I've always has a bit of an odd memory, I recall 16 character complex pass words reactively easily but would have trouble telling you what I had for tea yesterday.

It's all subjective given there are so many other factors that could contribute, as I stated earlier I see no value in trying to apportion apparent dysfunction to past drug use.

I deal with my mental state as it is, it's not possible to have a control subject and the model is way to complex.

Your just bit picking and it serves no purpose.

I was calling you Mr Grumpy, you're spoiling for a fight but you won't get one out of me, it is your views that are polarised and what the issue with me describing my work ?

 

[brimz]

I agree regarding Cognitive skills . Also my memory is pretty darn good as it happens n this surprises many folk .

 

[Allein]

I agree regarding Cognitive skills . Also my memory is pretty darn good as it happens n this surprises many folk .

Whilst in the grip of a nasty and embarrassing Diaz habit, by cognition and motor skills were definitely affected but that was when using 100mgs plus a day ( and I'm taking low dose cheap tabs into account Brimz)

I can't say I don't or do have long term damage but if I do I managing with the impairment, I'm not aware of any scans that would identify an issue and test processes would require a baseline prior to use.

We are in a constant state of flux with almost infinite variables at play and starting from an undefined point, s I've already said I deal with my problems as they are today, I can't undo the past just look to thee future.

That said if I was using a drug that gave me issues clearly I would consider abstaining and have done so in some instances both prescribed and other wise.

 

[ColtDan]

Allein, you are a legend

 

[Allein]

Allein, you are a legend

Thank you sir, I'll probe no further into your comment in case its more of a subtle piss take, but I'll take compliment or piss take from your good self :D

 

[mydrugbuddy]

Thats quite inspirational Allein. I think at the correct dose benzos helped me at work, cos i want worrying about irrelevant shit, and was able to concentrate on the matter in hand much better, concentrate and take in what someone was saying to me better etc. I do wanna get back into work. I need to, i live alone and without anyone to tak to all day, most days, i have to post the thoughts or trivialties of my day on here, if i was at work i would be talking about them to my work colleagues. Its not just the social aspect, the financial aspect is very important, as is the self respect and self confidence thing that is boosted by having a decent job.

I'd be prepared to stack supermarket shelves or whatver, maybe part time at first to ease my way back into work for a few months. There should be quite a few seasonal vacancies coming up soon, with extra help required in the shops and the royal mail for the christmas peak trade period.

I also started out in a grimy bedsit. Some of my colleagues mocked me for not going out spending £20 every lunch time on CDs, DVDs and expensive lunches. They didnt understand my plan of saving up for a deposit to buy my own house. They were either happy to rent or live with their parents. Neither seemed like a good option for me.