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E.T.: The Flying Theme - it makes me cry

D

Disco Diablo

Ex-Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 4, 2002
Messages
273
Location
Sydney
I've had this on a CD (Digitalsound Spectacular) for over 10 years.
I listened to it again today & it brought tears to my eyes and I could feel emotions welling up inside me. In fact a lot of the classical pieces on this CD has a similar effect on me now.
This never used to happen. I mean I've always liked that E.T. Flying Theme but I never used to cry to it.
Could it be because of my excessive drug use???
I've been warned from some "OLD" people about the effects of mushrooms. One guy told me that he had a friend who used to do mushies/lsd a lot & that friend sometimes breaks into tears for no apparent reason.
I've been sober for five days. No alchohol, no hippyflip, nadda. I'm getting worried that my drug use may be affecting my emmotional responses somewhat. Am I going to be an emotional mess in ten years time like that guys friend?
Is there anybody "MATURE" here that can elaborate on what's happening to me or can share their experiences.
I'm not in a depressive state or anything - I'm just noticing a lot of different things about me.
Another similar effect is when I play the piano (I have a grade one), I can feel really strong emotions inside (my heart, my fingers, pretty much throughout my whole body) and I get rushes while I play. Again this never used to happen to me. It's too intense to be considered as normal.
Is it possible that my EXCESSIVE drug use has altered the chemicals in my brain that controls my emotions???
In my whole lifetime I've probably consumed roughly:
60 cases of beer
170 trips
>300 ecstasy tablets
200 gm of mushies
an ounce of weed
5 g of coke
3 8-balls of speed
>2000 whipped cream bulbs
tried daytura once
30 seeds of Hawaiian Baby Woodrose
30 Ephedrine pills
50 K & Speed pills
(note: I've been experimenting since 13, I'm now 26. I wouldn't say I'm an addict as I don't find it hard to abstain whenever I want to. I've had drug free periods as long as two years.)
 
mmm this probably should be in Health Q & A???
But anyways...E.T always brings a tear to my eye, and it has nothin to do with drugs!
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
 
Moved to Aus Drug Discussion where it might get more serious responses...
Disco Diablo specifically asked for mature responses - when it's requested can people please try and do that...
Thanks...
(drug discussion mods might want to delete the above crap - the locked thread's in social anyway)
[ 07 April 2002: Message edited by: Pleonastic ]
 
I read somewhere that people who drink a lot of alcohol can have the problem of excessive crying. You did say you stopped drinking alcohol, how much did you usually drink?
Also look at the reasons you were taking drugs, is it possible that you were using them as an escape to avoid some negative feelings, which you can't help expressing now you are off drugs?
 
I find that I get a strange sense of insecurity about my emotional state due to the conditioning of society. We are always told that drugs are bad for your brain. You get to a point where you go, "hey am I normal". Tell people close to you about this, if they think you are a dick head or a loser, get some better friends. If they laugh and you laugh with them. Then life is good.
No matter where you are, if you and your friends can laugh and be joyous, is there anything more you really need? Don't be pulled into paranoia about your current mental state by the social norms that are distant to you.
I have had tears well up in me many times in my life when listening to music. Since the age of 12 I have always been exessively passionate about certain things. My mum tells me I should go see a doctor because I am too sensitive, especially when listening to classic music. I love that intense emotional feeling, it lets me escape and shows me I am alive. I just hug her and laugh, and you know what, she laughs too. So even if drugs have damaged my brain. Who is in charge in dictating damage from change?
;)
"I have never seen something destroyed without being replaced by something more appropriate afterwards."
Cheers,
Hope that put a smile on your face!
PS: Anyone who knows about Least Squares Segmentation could you e-mail me. :)
 
I'm normally pretty reserved in character. Really quiet, and I don't get emotional. You could say I'm one that bottles up their emotions. I also have the personality of a rock.
I haven't been drinking much alchohol. In the past 6 weeks I've only had a six-pack. This is really weird - I work in a liquor shop!!!
I usually have a beer or two after work and then only cause it's convenient.
Or I would have 2 glasses of wine with my steak dinner.
As for pot, I never really liked it until I tried it with N20 once. I can get high on half a cone because I hold my breath for about a minute. And then I'm really shattered. I wouldn't say I've had an ounce of weed in my life, maybe even half that.
I don't like coke - too subtle & too pricey. Had 1/2 a gm last week. Cost me the price of an XBOX game. Don't think I'll have it ever again. It enhances sex only a little.
My pattern of drug use is as follows:
I usually only get high when I really crave it. I wait till all my senses are telling me to get high. Usually it coincides with my libido. Whenever I'm on "fire", you know when your hormones are telling me to go & get laid, that's usually when I get the craving.
Other than that it's when I go to clubs or raves or when a mate drags me out of the house to get high.
I went to raves every week for about three years and took a trip each time. Sometimes I had it with a line of speed. I tried eccys a few times in this period and didn't like it. Felt unco.
Then I quit the party scene for about two years. No drugs, only the occasional alchohol.
I really only started liking pills at the beginning of last year & only cause I couldn't find any lsd (I did find some once, but it wasn't like I remembered them).
I would say my ecstasy usage has bordered on excessive. Most I've popped in a night is 8. Once you pop, it's hard to stop!!!
I started experimenting with mushrooms halfway through last year.
And hippyflipping about 2 months later.
There was a period near Christmas last year when I bought 30 of these "green & gold" caps (they were blue actually with blue liquid inside) and 20 Orange HQ's.
I gobbled them within three weeks.
What I would do was take 3 grams of mushies, then an HQ, then a "green & gold" 2 hours later, and then when I peaked I would inhale some N2O - probably 5 packs in a few hours. I would then have sex and inhale the bulb just prior to ejaculation as well as throughout intercourse. My partner got really annoyed with the constant refilling of the canister, though.
The next day I would repeat the above but double the quantity of pills.
Sometimes I'd just keep popping pills non-stop two at a time every hour. Silly, but somehow I got addicted or it became a sort of compulsive behaviour.
That pretty much characterises my drug habit.
I don't think I'll quit yet.
There is far too many magical things that are happening to me while in a hippyflip for me to just suddenly quit.
Even staring at insects is magical.
I'm also getting more spiritual, though it's more like one day I believe in God, the next day I don't.
Indecisiveness is my curse.(that's not a real word is it?)
Shall I quit??
Shall I not??
For the moment....
Not.......
Goddamn!!!!
 
Thanks Leprechaun. You did put a smile on my face.
But I'm not really depressed.
More worried for myself in ten years time.
If this emotional response to stimuli (forgot to mention it happens to movies too, especially "Contact" & "Star Wars") keeps increasing, and increasing my brain will explode. Something must happen
Like I said, it's more intense than the normal feelings that movies or music arouse in me.
If there is nothing around. ie. it's quiet, no TV, etc. I feel very normal. There lies my cure I think. No music ot TV.
 
I would inhale some N2O - probably 5 packs in a few hours. I would then have sex and inhale the bulb just prior to ejaculation as well as throughout intercourse. My partner got really annoyed with the constant refilling of the canister, though.
:) :) :D :D :) :)
but now on a serious note
it does sound to me as if you may have been over doing it a little.
the solution is simple(ish), just take yourself a bit of a break, no need to rush life, you've plenty of time to enjoy it. Maybe a month off and see how you're feeling.
In the mean time, if you're having trouble with feeling sad to the point of crying regularly; when i was recently feeling similarly i went to the natropath whom recommended inkephalen. this is primarily dl phenylaline which is the precursor for dopamine and will help stabilise your emotions. Its often prescribed for withdrawing alcoholics, but in similar circumstances to your own I was recommended it by the natropath i see, and it worked very well (in particularly the unexplainable sadness went away.) I was assured the drug was harmless by the natro and checked it out thoroughly myself before taking it to make sure.
It is likely that your drug use is effecting your emotional stability. There are many theories on how long term this can be or what symptoms/effects/issues may arise later in life.
I personally became most concerned for my well being when i noticed that i was having some motor-physical problems I'd not experienced before, such as; loss of grip strength, diminished hand eye co-ordination and "though difficult to explain" i felt like i had to concentrate on holding an object in my hand or i would drop it.... but then maybe i'm just ageing.
I'd be interested to know if you too have been noticing any physical dementia.
[ 08 April 2002: Message edited by: eddi spgeddi ]
Click to expand...
 
"loss of grip strength, diminished hand eye co-ordination" - I get that and a little difficulty balancing as well. I'm also mumbling or stuttering more frequently.
"I'd be interested to know if you too have been noticing any physical dementia." - We'll studying my own behaviour, like reading some of my posts here at bluelight, I can see that I'm a little demented. I keep getting all these stupid conspiracy theories in my head, and suffer mild panic attacks or paranoia, and my logic seems pretty retarded.
I also feel as though I'm being constantly watched by police or God (specially when on mushies), even.
Apart from having some drugs in my possesion for personal use, I'm not engaged in any criminal activity - but I always have this sense of guilt, even though I don't think that taking drugs is wrong!!!.
Yeah I guess I'm pretty fucked up, eh???
However I do get a little comfort from reading other people's replies here at blulight, or details about their own problems.
I don't feel so alone while in the blulight community. Everyone is very supportive here and open minded & I like that - big THANK YOU guys!!! lol
 
It is likely that your drug use is effecting your emotional stability, physicalities and, by the sounds of it, your mental states. There are many theories on how long term this can be or what symptoms/effects/issues may arise later in life.
please take yourself a break from drugs.
do some research into harm minimisation.
do some reading about possible long term effects of drug abuse and do some thinking.
cheers
 
And here i was thinking it was the general malaise and melancholy of adolescence :P.
Drugs mess with your emotions. Not only when your peaking, but afterwards - of this i'd have to say i'm certain. Paranoia, unexplainable sadness, shakes, poor concentration skills, stuttering, dyslexic tendancies (ie "stunning cunts" instead of "cunning stunts"), losing your thought patterns, moments of immense joy, feelings of loss, like someone's died when no-one has, questioning yourself, feeling like you've "changed"...
It could just be a lifetime of healthy mental tormoil for someone a little less conventional than normal - or maybe the drugs have made you that way... Does it matter if they have? I wouldn't trade who i am now for anything, and i think you shouldn't worry about your "emotional instability" just try to enjoy life :) .
Your hippyflipping regime sounds like a shitload of fun tho :D . I pray that you were postloading to some degree tho.
 
i cry everytime i hear really nice trancey melody such as till i come its sucks when u go listen 2 cds at sanity and leave in tears cause the music is so nice but i also get all over body tingles so its all worth it
(thats on no weed,pills,lou,coke,acid,k,g)just life
[ 11 April 2002: Message edited by: eckhead ]
 
bwaaahahahahaaa! I don't think I've ever left Sanity crying for any reason apart from the fact that I've realise that my ears have most probably now been permanently damaged from hearing Linkin Park screeching from the (always too loud) speakers. With til I come.. well - yeh, I've cried tears of pain there too.
;) teehee
Sorry, I can't contribute helpfully. i'm in a silly mood.
 
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