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E stole my life

India111 said:
Crown prince e and jean-Paul this person is obviously in a lot of distress and is turning to us for help

Have some respect
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10 months come down from two pills ? The OP has read the over the top threads in this section and is convincing himself that there is something wrong.

If the OP has a problem get to the doctor, have your eyes checked etc. Do not read the threads in here and try to self diagnose yourself.
 
Nambo! There you go. You've read the over the top threads in MED. You didn't really suffer a long term comedown after all. Fucking awesome dude, congrats.
 
Thank you to those who have offered some words of encouragement and shared your experiences. SexNCandy, thejibberman, Surfer, India, Black, Derok, Scaredfirsttimer et al. The fact that there are other people out there who have experienced these horrors does provide some comfort that I am not the only one. Your stories provide strength on this roller coaster of a recovery.

To those you have made dismissive comments it is quite obvious that they have not experienced how horrific things can go if one reacts negatively to pills / E. I would not wish such an experience on my worst enemy.

To provide more colour to those who are interested I have been to a number of doctors, from neurologists to psychiatrists and the verdict is that I have suffered from some degree of neurotoxicity (brain trauma). Maybe I was just unlucky but knowing what I know now, it was probably a perfect storm for something to go wrong. Ie a day of drinking in the sun (beers and spirits), no food, and then strong pills when I have never done them before. I may also unknowing have consumer more when I had no memory.

As far as my vision is concerned, the best way to describe it is as though one has been given a pair of glasses which are not quite you perscription. My night vision has also deteriorated massively and lights are very bright. Reading is alot more difficult as my eyes seem to jump around the words rather than staying on the line (if that makes sense). At night I also now have halos around lights when they previously used to be crisp. If you do some research or look at the symptoms of neurotoxicity, distorted vision is one of them.

In the first couple of months I had crippling anxiety and this to a large degree almost stopped overnight. I do however still have some lessor constant anxiety but it is the crippling desperate depression (suicidal) which I can suffer for days a time which is the killer. Before this incident I had never suffered a depressed day in my life and if anything was an overly positive person. I have found new respect to what depression really entails and how appalling it is.

I can only pray that my recovery will continue and that the peaks will start to out weigh the troughs (which really are desperate)
 
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Nambo said:
As far as my vision is concerned, the best way to describe it is as though one has been given a pair of glasses which are not quite you perscription. My night vision has also deteriorated massively and lights are very bright. Reading is alot more difficult as my eyes seem to jump around the words rather than staying on the line (if that makes sense). At night I also now have halos around lights when they previously used to be crisp. If you do some research or look at the symptoms of neurotoxicity, distorted vision is one of them.

In the first couple of months I had crippling anxiety and this to a large degree almost stopped overnight. I do however still have some lessor constant anxiety but it is the crippling desperate depression (suicidal) which I can suffer for days a time which is the killer. Before this incident I had never suffered a depressed day in my life and if anything was an overly positive person. I have found new respect to what depression really entails and how appalling it is.
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I experience the exact same symptoms of vision too. However I think it's getting better the less anxious I get. The more I've calmed down the better my vision has become/floaters reduced/night vision becoming more clear. Neurotoxicity can probably relate to just about any symptom as it's the control system of the body. However I really don't believe what you or I have is neurotoxicity. There are many people here that believe it is, but I believe only such large doses for a lengthy amount of time can cause this. Basically there's way more chance of having anxiety being toxic on your brain, especially when there are people who have used it in clubs for decades and are fine.

I really think it's anxiety my friend. It can play the biggest tricks on your mind. Not only neurotoxicity cause vision problems, anxiety can too. http://www.anxietyzone.com/index.php?topic=39963.0
 
have you tried sunglasses man? it could help with the visual disturbances.

about the depression/anxiety, whatever the cause is... stay positive, take care of yourself, depression sucks man. read some self-help books, find whatever is good for you and focus on that, don't give power to negativity.
 
i experienced bright vision . is that neurotoxicity? in my opinion yes, it does but the true question is...are the natural depression and anxiety also neurotoxicity?
well in my opinion again YES a bad diet, tons of stress activity, can get the brain out of energy slowly and one day BOOM! just like drug comsumer with certain sensitivity
So let me guess that the natural path and the synthetic are just similar if we define neurotoxicity as dendrite rewiring in the brain (being the serotonin and dopamine system the most affected). i think this thing..."acceptance" is something that rush the rewiring, i dont know why but after a lot of time, when im "ready" to be fucked forever, something cool start to grow inside of me, a give me all of a sudden improvement that doesnt go back again, later i start to feel bad about my condition and the cycle restarted.
but everytime too this happen is easier for the to think "ok im done, im ok with the this illness" and every time i feel less death,also my bad days are not so bad.
i cant explain it , i just can feel it.
 
i perfer shrooms over everything.....except dmt

also i hate how shit makes ur eyes perm sensitive to lights

*snip*
 
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Hey man, very saddening to hear that you have these lasting effects. Most of what you described is what we all feel like after rolling, however for a shorter duration. My first roll left me quite bleak for a few weeks.
In my experience, the key is getting yourself back into your normal routines and socializing! I'd recommend going out more with friends, to bars, or maybe on road trips, or just day-out outings. Definitely grab a buddy and start hitting the gym, if you haven't already. Bodybuilding and fitness is a great passion to have, and can really absorb your focus off of negative matters. Additionally, go try a new sport! I would highly recommend that if you live near the ocean, try surfing, or kayaking or stand up paddling! Flying and paragliding are other amazing experiences if you can afford them.
There is so much to life my friend, you just need to reach out for it.
Fun and Friends! These two things will get you right back on track, just take the initiative! :)
Good luck,
-Altjira
 
Altjira said:
Hey man, very saddening to hear that you have these lasting effects. Most of what you described is what we all feel like after rolling, however for a shorter duration. My first roll left me quite bleak for a few weeks.
In my experience, the key is getting yourself back into your normal routines and socializing! I'd recommend going out more with friends, to bars, or maybe on road trips, or just day-out outings. Definitely grab a buddy and start hitting the gym, if you haven't already. Bodybuilding and fitness is a great passion to have, and can really absorb your focus off of negative matters. Additionally, go try a new sport! I would highly recommend that if you live near the ocean, try surfing, or kayaking or stand up paddling! Flying and paragliding are other amazing experiences if you can afford them.
There is so much to life my friend, you just need to reach out for it.
Fun and Friends! These two things will get you right back on track, just take the initiative! :)
Good luck,
-Altjira
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Thanks for the encouraging words Altjira, I am keeping as positive as possible and pray my symptoms will fade....
 
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