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Dumbest thing you've said to a cop? v. That cocaine is medicinal!

Drunk and on Lotta valium, tried to shake a cops hand after they tried to bust me... She was not impressed. I bowed instead which was pretty funny in hindsight cause I was wearing a traditional frog button shirt lmao.
 
I told a cop to fuck himself, and ect.
Nothing happened.
Well was almost arrested both times I did.
One cop even whipped out his cuffs, but the other cop was like chill bro
 
haha personally i believe the majority of cops say wayyy dumber things drug related than almost anything we could say to them. I usually get angry when they caught me smoking weed or something because of the stupid things they usually say. 8(
 
I had to eat a freshly light blunt of some mids a longgg time ago.. First time I tried 4loko, had 2, about 10 Ativan, n chewed up 8 percs about 15 min before hand.. Cop pulled the broad over for serving, go figure, so I scarfed that bitch down, told her to roll the windows down n I lit a cig n just started puffin'.. Lol. I told her to chill, because she said there was nothing in the car, and I did my goddamn part.. Nope. Found paraphernalia n moar weed, all the while I'm nodding out, chain smoking, getting maddogged by my sister (It was her GF, she wasn't happy with me for quite some time, but I was like..)*Checks both ways* Biiiiiiiiitch, I did my part, she fucked up. All I wanted to do was pet that dog, I really dunno why I did not get arrested, because I tried.. At least 5 times.
 
"Go ahead get the dogs out here."

Saying this when i actually did have shit in the car but the piggies couldnt find it. Also after they had come up on me and my buddies in my friends parents drive way with a bong in my lap. We were having a party in the pad and didnt want to share with a bunch of people so we went to the car. Had the bong but hadnt packed anything yet when the flashlight hit my face. The cops couldnt find the herb and i really didnt know where it was. They smelled it too. They just kept threatening with bringing out the dogs. I was just a stupid drunk kid talking shit to the police. I had the mouth of my friends. They were smart and were quiet. They just broke my bong and left in frustration. Turns out my buddy sitting passenger had stuffed it in between the seat cushions in the seat where the back part of it meets the ass part of the seat so we did win at the end cause we smoked right after they left. In the house tho

At a cetain age when your a kid with drugs and alcohol, you just have this level of fearlessness that i couldnt imagine having today. But its something you can learn from and almost be jealous of cause its a time in my life when i really lived in the moment alot. Im a big believer of that today. Trying to be happy with right now cause its really all that is real. I didnt really think about the past or future then. Just didnt worry about it. Now that can be an issue for me. THinking too much into the future. Its amazing i lived through certain things and how close i came to being wiped off the earth numerous times. Even after experiences that could have ended me, i wouldnt reflect on it too much till much later in life. Just moved on to the next thing in front of me.
 
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oh yeh, when i was waaay younger and very drunk i said something along the lines of "this is my neighbourhood, i do what i want here..." i then got my face slammed into a brick wall:\, LOL, taught me a lesson for sure, never get cocky with the filth, rather school them subtly on morality and such if you're feeling a bit cheeky and have nothing to reproach yourself....=D;)
 
I had 2 girl cops get me for my DUI, was polite enough at first until they towed my car after I passed 2 field sobriety tests. They didnt give me a breathalyzer before they towed the car, so they didnt know for a fact that I was drunk (I wouldve probably passed the breathalyzer), but they were gonna tow my car and make me pay 300 or whatever to get it out, just to hassle me even if I passed the blood test at the station.

Anyway after they towed my shit without proof of DUI I started talking some shiiit. The one playing bad cop was a masculine woman, so I started calling her "Officer Manly". The other was very curvy, which made her uniform look off a bit and somewhat fat (you could tell out of uniform she would actually be smokin). So I started calling her officer Fatass. I told em all kinds of shit in the 5 or 10 minute drive to the station, youre ugly, no decent guy will ever want you manly ass bitches, you probably fuck each other, etc. Also they left that big clipboard they use to write tickets in on top of the car when they pulled out of the driveway into the street to take me in, it fell off and papers flew everywhere! I was just yelling "You better pick that shit up you manly ass bitch! HAHA thats right bend over and pick that shit up you stupid fat cunt!"

At first you could tell they were trying not to let it bother them, but by the time we hit the station they were kinda pissed and talking some shit, which really cracked me up. I wouldnt comply with anything they wanted to do at that point so I told them to fuck off with their blood test, which in CA when you refuse a blood test youre assumed drunk and your license is revoked for a year, even though I only had a couple beers or so in me. So off I go to the drunk tank getting slammed around by the sheriffs because they heard what kind of heinous shit Id just been telling their coworkers. Practically broke my wrist at one point at least a sprain. And after processing me out of custody the next day my wallet was magically $100 short! Fuckin bitch got the last laugh.
 
Cop finds weed pipe
"does it make you feel gay smiling out of something that looks like a dick"
"I don't know about you but my dick doesn't look like that"

Cop finds my fake ID
"I asked if you had anything illegal, why didn't you tell me about the id"
"I told you I was 18 and the ID says 23, I just thought you'd put. 2 & 2 together."
 
the dumbest thing i've ever said?

self incriminated myself and told them the MDMA they found in my room was mine. Got a felony possession charge. If i kept my mouth shut I dont think they ever would have charged me. It was literally the only evidence they had that the MDMA was mine..Still trying to forgive myself for that one.......
 
SirTophamHat said:
Drunk and on Lotta valium, tried to shake a cops hand after they tried to bust me... She was not impressed. I bowed instead which was pretty funny in hindsight cause I was wearing a traditional frog button shirt lmao.
Click to expand...

This wins the thread lol.

Here I've just paid bribes(my record fkin sparkles!!!) if I know the cop knows whatsup . sometimes they'll just str8 up say I see what you're up to but I'm "hungry" and you'll know.

The one time I ran into honest cops (many years ago)I said my buddy lives here (DEEP ghetto), was with a fairly attractive blonde, I say fairly cos my mental image of her now is a meth whore (proper escort) because that is what she is now ,but in those days she was more than fairly hot, she was banging - 8 years ago. I digress, when they didn't believe my initial story, I had the nerve to get pissed off at them for being racist. Then when they finally did believe me(after my political rant on how their attitudes need a change), we left - I had 2 quarters (1/4 g) meth straws in the LINING of my jeans while talking to them. This was in the bad ol days lol, we were in that neighbourhood solely to score meth.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxlPU97D54I - fitting song!
 
Man, I wish shit was like that in murica, bruh.. I think like a year ago I was listening to the radio, two cops (rookies) got popped trafficking yowda in the trunk of the cop car.. All that weight for a G-note each, fuckin' amateurs.
Seriously? Anyone else there would have been an extra 0 there, they get out on a fucking 50k bond (Only 5g's up front, some bullshit)..
 
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The last time I took LSD, which was a few years back now, I was in the city and not really having a pleasant trip (having already lost a shoe somehow) and some cops came along and wanted to see my ID, but for the life of me I couldn't get my fucking DL out of my wallet, it was like it just kept slipping through my fingers, fuck knows what it looked like to a sober person. After about a minute of trying, I handed my wallet to the cop and said "Here, my IDs in here, you can get it" and he promptly replied "I'm not getting your fucking license out for you, you do it" - so I had to keep trying until eventually it came out.

Then they said we had to leave the city (it was about 4am) and said we can either leave now and go our own way, or take a ride with them. So I got home, minus a shoe.
 
I think it went a little something like "fuck you pigs" or some similar statement but it didn't matter. Those cops wanted to fuck me up and they had me in a dark alley. It was over for me. Got stomped. Got maced ... got convicted of a Misdy and they lied on the report but since it actually made me look kinda good compared to what I had done that night , I didnt contest it. I did 2 months and now it's just harder for me to get guns . I get investigated by the feds like a mofugga. The End.
 
" What do you mean you're giving me a ticket for this left turn? I've lived in this district 6 years and always turn left here . "
:\
 
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