Dumb ways druggies try to pass drug tests

[Jabberwocky]

To be clear, this is not about effective ways to cheat a test or how to go about it (don't discuss this), but dumb, illogical or dangerous ways you've seen.

There were a few stupid myths others and I believed they could cheat a test with when I was a teenager.

The stupidest thing I ever did myself was chug an entire bottle of distilled vinegar, which was one of the most vile things in the world. I was able to get half the bottle down before violently puking, and my stomach hurt for a few days afterwards.

Niacin mega doses were probably the most popular. Word was if you took 5000mg (?) Or some ridiculous amount it would "flush" your system. Obviously it doesn't work, and just makes you break out in a rash and feels like your skin is on fire for 12 hours. Sucks.

And the stupidest thing I ever saw was some guy who believed if you drank 2oz of bleach it would work... he actually did and obviously became very ill. I can't remember if he went to the hospital or not, but it wasn't pretty.

 

[Salem_is_tired]

I had a classmate in high-school who once snorted up something awful looking and smelling stuff in the middle of the classroom during a break. I was out talking whit friends from different classes, so I personally doesn't see the powder he used, but according to a friend of mine/classmate who was in the room, it looked like chalk dust, but with a light red color, or as my friend put it "like old chili powder". I remember as I enter the classroom, he run out of the door, covering his nose and mouth - both were running, and he was coughing uncontrollably. Some of his friends also took it - they just did it in the bathroom, but reaction was similar. So as the class starter, all three of them were sitting at the back of the classroom, watery eyes, red faces, coughing like hell and spitting out reddish/pinkish saliva - and some blood. The teacher was not really having their excuse, he could not really believe it was just some common cold or similar bullshit they said they were having, so the guys were sent home. The next morning it turned out that the they bought some mystery powder shit from a sketchy guy, that allegedly would helped them to pass the drug test that one of their mother wanted them to take :D
Later on I remember hearing similar stories from friends from neighboring towns, so this "mystery powder" bullshit was a short lived, but kinda well known (but not so successful) way to pass the drug test.

 

[jasperkent]

When I was in rehab a dude told about a friend of his who had tried to use a Whizzinator to defeat a drug test that was a condition of his probation. If you're unfamiliar with the Whizzinator there's an article below that describes it. It's basically just a device used to deliver synthetic urine in order to pass a drug screen. The male version includes a fake penis (available in 5 skin tones!) to fool testers who observe closely.

Anyway, the guy in the story was determined to beat the system and he might have succeeded if he wasn't still high at the time of the test. The officer didn't even come into the restroom but the guy proudly walked out the door holding the cup of "clean urine"  with the fake penis still hanging out of his pants!

Whizzinator - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

 

[polarthedog]

A guy in,prison claimed all you need is hot water, I tried explaining to him how this is impossible, but he wasn’t hearing it. I don’t think he expected to get called out on his bull shit, then he didn’t wann back down

 

[somnilicious]

One of my friends in highschool had to take a drug test so he had some bleach to drop in the cup to throw it off. He had the bleach in a little container that would fit in his pocket.

We were riding in the car when all of a sudden another friend started screaming in the back seat. I turned around to see said friend holding a visine bottle and crying. As the tears flowed down his face and onto his shirt I could see his tears literally stripping the color out of his shirt right in front of my eyes.

Can probably guess what happened.

I Have another friend that is always drinking jars of pickle juice.

 

[somnilicious]

When I was in rehab a dude told about a friend of his who had tried to use a Whizzinator to defeat a drug test that was a condition of his probation. If you're unfamiliar with the Whizzinator there's an article below that describes it. It's basically just a device used to deliver synthetic urine in order to pass a drug screen. The male version includes a fake penis (available in 5 skin tones!) to fool testers who observe closely.

Anyway, the guy in the story was determined to beat the system and he might have succeeded if he wasn't still high at the time of the test. The officer didn't even come into the restroom but the guy proudly walked out the door holding the cup of "clean urine"  with the fake penis still hanging out of his pants!

Whizzinator - Wikipedia

en.m.wikipedia.org

Lol.... Just reminded me of another friend who had a Whizzinator but they sent him the wrong skin tone. He is a dark Hawaiian but the one he got was albino white. He still tried it and it failed miserably.

 

[jasperkent]

One of my friends in highschool had to take a drug test so he had some bleach to drop in the cup to throw it off. He had the bleach in a little container that would fit in his pocket.

We were riding in the car when all of a sudden another friend started screaming in the back seat. I turned around to see said friend holding a visine bottle and crying. As the tears flowed down his face and onto his shirt I could see his tears literally stripping the color out of his shirt right in front of my eyes.

Can probably guess what happened.

Jesus! Any permanent damage?
I can hear people saying Dude, you can't bleach the red out of your eyes-- it don't work that way.

I knew a guy who made a similar mistake but in his case it was cleaning solution for vinyl records. I think the stuff was mostly isopropyl alcohol. The bottle wasn't labeled, but it was about the same shape&size as contact wetting solution.
Yeah, he was high when he did it.

 

[somnilicious]

Jesus! Any permanent damage?
I can hear people saying Dude, you can't bleach the red out of your eyes-- it don't work that way.

I knew a guy who made a similar mistake but in his case it was cleaning solution for vinyl records. I think the stuff was mostly isopropyl alcohol. The bottle wasn't labeled, but it was about the same shape&size as contact wetting solution.
Yeah, he was high when he did it.

No..... Coincidentally enough it was his birthday and there was this party at a friend's house later that night and me and another couple of friends trashed his house and poured bleach all over the bathroom floor. Same friend slipped and fell in the bleach wearing the brand new $80 Jnco jeans his parents bought him and got bleach stains all over them.... I felt bad and gave him $100 after they unsuccessfully came looking for us to beat our ass...lol.... What a shit birthday.

 

[Skorpio]

Pooping in the urine sample cup.