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Dumb things to do when paranoid.

romanticnihilist

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 17, 2008
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45
After a recent trip to the mall after coming down from some opiates I got a horrible sense of paranoia and thought the entire mall was out to get me. This grew in to The Fear (for all you Hunter Thompson readers) and I almost maced a security guard. So, anyone have any interesting paranoia stories?
 
came home rather high, decided that the best way to not be caught because of my eyes was to try and get from the front door to my room (a 20 meter journey, involving several turns and a flight of stairs) with my eyes closed.

Made it to the stairs, then had the loudest fall you've ever herad. My entire family runs out to see me roling on the stairs clutching my shins with one hand and covering my eyes with the other laughing my ass off. I think i managed to play it off as being drunk and having hayfever =D
 
LOLLL

im a pretty paranoid person (and its not like the drugs are helping much).
I once thought every single one of my friends phones were tapped and the gov't was reading all my text messages about drugs and my friends were in on it too to get me

i actually cut off all my connections with my friends for about 3 days until i realized how stupid was being and started being normal again haha

thats all i can think of as of now
ill post again with more because trust me theres been a bunch hahahahah
 
hahahahaha

Here's My Story:
Around this time last year I was at a store in the Mall; I think it was a skate shop, but there were a lot of people's parents there. Someone was fixing the security thing that beeps excessively whenever someone tries to steal something. I was on Meth, So the whole time I was in there I was sketching out and looking in every direction like a fucking groundhog.
I realized I didn't have any money so I left, and while I was leaving I was still quickly glancing at everyone and everything.
When I was about a foot out the door the guy decides to test out the beeping thing, and it starts beeping like I had just lifted something; no one seems to notice. I immediately did a weird maneuver that started with me literally sprinting about a foot and a half, then pivoting 180 degrees on one foo, and ending up with my legs about 2 feet apart.
I just stared back into the store, and at this point a couple people were watching me.
I thought it would be a good idea to clear my name and yell (with about a half second pause between each word), "I'M... NOT... SHOPLIFTIIIIIIING!!!!
By then everyone in the whole store was watching me, most of them had no idea what was going on. And one of the pricks who works there called the almighty Mall-Cop down to do his job: waste everyones time. I'm pretty sure since he's not an actual cop he had no right to do this, but he made me empty my pockets and he frisked me; He seemed to be enjoying himself :|
 
oh man i've got heaps
heres one i posted on a different thread the other day
I was driving along a reasonably deserted road, and had been awake for 7 nights. I was going ker-razy.
Anyway I see a cop car driving along, and I assume they are after me. Why me? I do not know, but I totally convinced myself someone had tipped off that I would be driving up here, I did a U-turn and went for a 2 hour detour to the opposite side of town, convinced they could still see me. I couldn't see them and tried to rationalise thoughts, but then the idea came to my head that they had an invisible car (circa james bond..) and also thought the birds and trees were tipping the cops off on where I was.
I ran out of my car and dumped about 2 grams of shards in the bin, plus my pipe.
Satisfied they would have no proof, I drove home still scared out of my mind and superglued my windows shut and locked my front door, made sure all the curtains were totally closed.
I turned my mobile and computer off (just incase they could track me through them) and sat on my couch for 24 hrs peeping out windows til I finally fell asleep 'cos I chucked all my shards in the bin. Someone would have had a lucky day going through that bin, $800 bucks worth.

Another is when me and a group of mates came up with a theory that another mate was an undercover cop, working against us. (Thing is, this HAS HAPPENED BEFORE TO US!!)
So we suddenly start stop saying all incriminating things around him, we are full blown tweakers stayin awake for about a week@ a time, so we are not thinking straight of course. Anyway, this "cop" was a meth user too, one day he is over and asks me if I got any gear on me. Of course I start rantin on about how drugs are bad and how I would never be involved in it (this made no sense as he had seen me light up about a million pipes)
Anyway we all finally went to sleep .. Just woke up thinkin wtf?????????????!

This is another funny one;
I started comin up with 'spectacular theories about the universe'
one was that our universe is simply a tiny atom in another parallel universe, and there and trillions upon trillions of different universes. I thought that maybe those atoms were inside a teacup in the next universe,etc. But I started freakin out about it, thinking I had discovered the secret of the universe and thinkin someone will one day smash the tea cup. Of course logic had gone out the window, and I knew I was bein a douche at the bak of my head, but after been sleep deprived and methed up for that long your brain just doesn't function normally!
I start thinkin that if we sin some dickhead in the next universe or whatever will break the teacup, like karma or whatever. Anyway that freaked me out for a few days, and ever since then I am careful with my teacups hahahaha (no joke though..brains a bit fried)

ahhh and also once i was stayin in a hotel.. room service knocks on the door and I had been awake an OBSCENE AMOUNT OF TIME, 10 days or so (never do that) so I start thinkin its some mass murderer disguised as room service, or somethin along those lines. I hide under the bed, room service comes in assumin im not in there, cleans and leaves.
I stayed under the bed for about 3 hrs, except I got out once 2 get my pipe, baggie and lighter, rofl
 
hahaha jesus I thought I was bad. Thats intense. Okay so hears another I was at my grandmothers house bored out of my fucking mind so I decided to snort some focalin. My grandma comes home with the entire extended family and I had managed to get this shit all over my shirt. (I bad with powder) I hear the door open and need a reason to explain this, but I'm scatter brained as all hell, so I run to the closet and take out four boxes of powdered doughnuts and dump them on me and lie on the floor. When they came in i was like, shit there was an earthquake and the donuts got me! They assumed I was just being a dick.
 
when i lived with my mom.

iwas trying to sneak my double bubbler back into the house while really blazed.

my bright idea was to put it in my hoodie pocket.

put it in there and forgot about it cause i was also trying to hide a big bag of E.

walk in to the house and the bubbler spilled in my pocket causing me to wreak.

i thought to say someone puked on me, but she of course found the pipe (i miss that thing)

luckily she didn't find my pills
 
While on shrooms, I thought someone was going to come into my room and killl me so I hid under the sheets. A fool proof plan against any breaking and entering.
 
I thought my mate was a cop so I got my gun and shot him twice in the head, he died at the scene and I am yet to be charged with his murder, which is good.

I feel a bit bad because he actually wasn't a cop at all, meh.






















jokesssssssss :p
 
was snorting ritalin all day.
at around 6pm i got paranoid and started thinking my parents knew about me snorting ritalin because I thought they could hear me crushing pills all day. just sat there for like 3 hours not making a single sound. hid the rest of my pills(after snorting some more). thinking that theyl come in anytime to bust me. every lil noise made me jump. drove me crazy
 
This is another funny one;
I started comin up with 'spectacular theories about the universe'
one was that our universe is simply a tiny atom in another parallel universe, and there and trillions upon trillions of different universes. I thought that maybe those atoms were inside a teacup in the next universe,etc. But I started freakin out about it, thinking I had discovered the secret of the universe and thinkin someone will one day smash the tea cup. Of course logic had gone out the window, and I knew I was bein a douche at the bak of my head, but after been sleep deprived and methed up for that long your brain just doesn't function normally!
I start thinkin that if we sin some dickhead in the next universe or whatever will break the teacup, like karma or whatever. Anyway that freaked me out for a few days, and ever since then I am careful with my teacups hahahaha (no joke though..brains a bit fried)

Lol that's the type of shit I think about without the help of stimulants.
 
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