Parents found out...
Ok, well this past weekend my parents found out about my drug use. No matter how hard I tried to justify my actions, they just wouldn't listen.
Total bullshit. I explained bluelight and erowid. I explained the chemicals that were in the drugs. I explained the side effects, the risks, the dangers, how to be safe, and the chances of something going wrong. NOTHING changed their opinion. It was like it went in one ear and out the other. And it pisses me off so much.
The way they caught me...well, they found my little "blog" entries. With various trip reports and thoughts that I had written down. THEY NEVER EVEN FOUND DRUGS. That is what is pissing me off. I am getting in trouble for things from the past! I hate this.
And another thing, I realized that my mother was keeping a copy of my PERSONAL entries. Who the fuck does this woman think she is? THOSE ARE MY PERSONAL THOUGHTS, NOT HERS. So what did I do? Found the copy, got rid of it, and replaced it with: "Mom, I do not like you having my personal thoughts on record. Sorry." So now I'm waiting to hear her reaction when she discovers this.
My dad started telling me about all the friends he's lost due to ODing, then I simply said, "They weren't being smart about their drug use." He continued to tell me that one of his friends has become addicted to percs, and one day he just dropped and died from a heart attack at age 33. Keyword there is ADDICTED. Something that I am not. He tells me of a friend that took an EXTREME amount of Ecstasy during his life, the doctor told his friend that if he didn't stop that he would die. Of course he couldn't expand on this and tell me WHY this person would die.
Then there is my mom going on about "rat poison, other dangerous drugs in the pills", I told her that the rat poison one was so rare, that it barly happened. The chances of that happening are quite slim. I asked her, "If this person wants to make money, why would he/she put an ingredient in his/her pills that would kill people? Think he/she would have many customers after that?" And of course she couldn't back up what she said once I gave her that information...
I explained to them that MDMA was the main ingredient in Ecstasy, and what did they respond with? "No it is not, it is called MDA" Then I explained the difference between the two, and of course they just nodded and acted like I didn't know what the fuck I was talking about. They go and say "You think you know, but you don't". So by saying that, they are basically telling me that bluelight and erowid are full of shit, which is not the case.
Now my dad starts explaining to me that "chemical drugs fuck up your body", and I told him, "Not if you use the drugs safely, and smartly." Once again they look at me like I just said the biggest load of shit they've ever heard. My dad is the biggest fucking HYPOCRITE! He tells me not to do chemical drugs, while he has various cocaine envelopes/crack pipes/bubblers around his room. He tells me that it took him years to "learn his lesson"...hmmm let me think, if you've learned your lesson, may I ask why you still do them? What a moron.
Then the next thing they said to me absolutely blew my mind. "There are two paths in life you can take. You can stop what you are doing, grow up and become successful, or you can continue what you are doing and amount to nothing but a 'deadbeat'." Then I shook my head and said "No, you're wrong. Let me ask you something. What if I grow up, have a family, become successful, and still do what I do? What would you have to say to that?" My dad says "I would be surprised". Then I thought to myself, 'Prepare to be surprised...' I asked them if they knew that there was a lot of people that use drugs like me living successful lives, they said "I can garuantee that there are not many people like that."
Then my mom asks me why I am doing this. I told her that I simply wanted to live my life. I didn't want to grow up and look back on my life and say 'What the fuck did I do? I didn't live a day in my life!' She said "But if you did do that, and looked back on your life, you would be even happier that you didn't have to resort to these things to have a good time." I responded with "Since when I am not allowed to have a good time? If I am in a situation that I KNOW I can make better by smoking some weed, or popping a pill, why is that so wrong?"
My parents just don't get it. I wish my parents would listen me.
