Drugging kids for parents' relief called abusive

phr

Bluelighter
Joined
May 25, 2004
Messages
36,649
Location
St. Charles, IL
Drugging kids for parents' relief called abusive
Madison Park
CNN
7.22.10



CNN) -- If the kids become too much to handle, slip 'em a little cold medicine. It's an often-repeated joke -- or advice -- that parents share on the playground or on Twitter and Facebook pages.

One mom, Jill Smokler, said she doesn't vilify parents who medicate their kids: "It's not the end of the world."

"It's certainly better than being pushed to edge, spanking a child or slamming doors or really losing it," she said.

But drugging children with over-the-counter or prescription medications can have unintended consequences, said the author of a research published Thursday, who likened the practice to child abuse.

The research, published in the Journal of Pediatrics, found an average 160 annual cases in which pharmaceutical drugs were maliciously used on children.

"We believe the malicious use of pharmaceuticals may be an under-recognized form and/or component of child maltreatment," wrote the author, Dr. Shan Yin, a pediatrician.

Using information from the National Poison Data System, Yin found that children were most commonly receiving analgesics, stimulants/street drugs, sedatives, hypnotics, antipsychotics and cough or cold medications.

He found 1,439 cases from 2000 to 2008. Of those, 14 percent resulted in injuries, and 18 children died. More than half of the cases involved at least one sedating drug; 17 of the 18 deaths included sedatives. Yin said the poison data most likely underestimates the actual number of cases.

The circumstances around the 18 deaths were not clear, Yin said. He did not have access to case notes and legal findings. Four of them were ruled as homicides, three resulted in legal action against the mother, two were noted as highly suspicious and one included cocaine.

Why young children were given drugs such as antidepressants, stimulants and antipsychotics were also unclear. The motives, he said, could widely vary, such as overwhelmed parents looking for a break, amusement or punishment.

"Anytime you're giving a medication for any other purpose other than for what it's explicitly prescribed for, you run the risk of harming your child," Yin said.

This year, a Massachusetts woman was sentenced to life in prison after she was found guilty in the death of her 4-year-old daughter, whose blood had a lethal level of a hypertension drug used to sedate children with ADHD. Her husband, who was tried separately, was convicted of first-degree murder, according to CNN affiliate NECN. The prosecutors had argued the father had either given the pills or ordered his wife to do so to silence the child.

In a 2005 case, a Montana day care owner was convicted of killing a 1-year-old after giving a fatal dose of cough medicine to put the child to sleep.

In extreme cases such as these, the law determines whether the parent or caregivers' actions are criminal, said Dr. Lawrence Diller, who practices behavioral-developmental pediatrics in Walnut Creek, California.

But in more ordinary, everyday circumstances, the ethical boundaries are hazy.

"There are really ambiguous situations where the line is between helping the child legitimately -- those are the vast majority -- and situations that border on sedating the child that would be a form of abuse," Diller said.

Parents may slip their children some medication to relax and think they're not harming them. This happens to families when "they feel overwhelmed or desperate," he said.

Each case has different elements and motives, so it's hard to generalize whether deliberate medicating of a child is abuse, said James Hmurovich, the president and CEO of Prevent Child Abuse America.

"If it's for medical a reason, that's one thing," Hmurovich said. "If moms are at wit's end and the stress is building up and they're tired, that's not a good use of over-the-counter medications."

Some parents use drugs to calm their children down in airplanes.

Smokler gave her daughter, who was then 1 1/2 years old, some Benadryl, expecting her to sleep through the two-hour flight.

Her plan backfired.

Benadryl, an antihistamine used to relieve irritated eyes, sneezing and a runny nose, had an energizing effect on her daughter. The toddler ran through the aisles, talked as loudly as she could, and jumped up and down on her chair.

"It was worst-case scenario," said Smokler, of Baltimore, Maryland. "This is what I get for trying to dope up my kid."

She never tried it again.

Smokler has discussed using Benadryl on kids with her friends and said it could be seen as a way to have "me time" to relax, read a book or have a quiet dinner.

"It's a selfish act doing that," said Smokler, who blogs at Scary Mommy, where she takes a frank look at motherhood. "Sometimes you just need it. It's better than screaming at a kid when all your buttons are being pushed. You need a break; it's a survival mechanism."

Cynthia Dermody, a health editor for a mom blog, The Stir, said in the typical, real-mom world, parents joke about giving children Benadryl but don't usually go through with it.

"I'll admit I've felt that inclination, too, when my kids were younger and weren't sleeping well. ... I would never give my own children a medication for a nonmedical use, but as a harried, stressed-out parent, I do understand the temptation."

Sometimes, parents need a break or want their kids to sleep a little longer or sleep at all, she added.

Link!
 
Who would think that it's ever a good idea to do such a thing.
Something they should have thought about before having children.
 
Harriet Tubman gave opium to babies to silence them.

They were also escaping slave owners and run-a-way hunters on the underground railroad, so different context than wanting some quiet time. Not like it's any kind of new practice though.
 
Went to the health store today, and the isle that had children's supplements were mostly 'calm your kid' type products. Pretty lame. These type of parents should dope themselves, not their children. Figure their body weight ratio to that of their child, then take the equivalent dose of ritalin. One 40mg dose would show them what their children are experiencing.
 
What most people are missing is the fact that (nearly) ALL parents give their children a fix to stop them from from being annoying or otherwise control their behavior.8o

The most commonly used fixes are TV and sugar.

Children are like little mice pushing the cocaine button when it comes to these "treats" - neither of which really enhances the child's vitality in any way, and both of which are addictive.

You can have a candy if you / You can't watch TV until you:
finish your vegetables, clean up your room, stop bothering me, help your sister

I need to do X, so you go watch TV for 2 hours and get out of my hair.


Clearly sugar and TV are being used to control the child's behavior in order to make it easier for the parent.
Exactly the same as the benadryl and cough syrup, for example. :p

For those of you who think you are above all of this, I would ask you two questions:

First, do you actually have children? I can guarantee that your perspective on life will change drastically once you do. It is easy to judge parents when you are not a parent, but once you actually have to experience parenthood... (and here, I am talking about actually taking responsibility for your children, and being with them for many hours a day, not about allowing other people to raise your children for you).

Second, if you do have children, do you use TV and sugar (or something else) to control their behavior? Do you really think that this is so different than using sleeping medicine?

As a parent of two who is actively engaged in raising my children on a daily basis, I consider my responsibilities very seriously.
We do not have a TV, and do not allow our kids to eat sugar.
No sleeping medicine, either.
But we do use other means of controlling their behavior - time-outs, for example.

It is necessary, I would argue, to control one's children's behavior.
Some people have trouble knowing how to do it, and resort to using chemicals like benadryl.
They need education, not scorn or punishment.
There are healthier ways to control your kids.
TV and sugar are NOT, I would argue, good choices.

Just my two cents.
 
^I am not a parent. I do not need to be to understand that it is wrong to dose children with adderall (amphetamine), ritalin (the closest chemical to cocaine in overall effects), or benadryl (deliriant). Neither television nor internet would be options either. Sweets, sometimes, but certainly not as positive reinforcement. Food is a right, not a privilege.
 
hey slimvictor, I hear you 100%. I aint a mom just quite yet but give me another few months to incubate this baby and Im in the club ;) When i was readin your post i knew it was comin, as soon as u said that i thought "yup...sugary foods and tv." i see it alot like u do, but its prob. from how i was raised.

I maybe cant say how i deal with it now since thats a lil ways off in the future but ican speak from how it was when I was a kid . i m sure there was time here or there but i honestly cant remember ever gettin lured with a treat or a candy or some type of shit like that, i aint sayin my moms NEVER did this but just that it musta been pretty rare becuz i cant remember ever havin that type of encouragment to do somethin i was suppose to do. when i was growin up if i said so wat do i get for doing XXX it was "you dont get shit, you do it cuz its wat you supposed to do, thats life, you do your job cuz its your job" , said in a little bit less tougher way , without the cussin ofcourse, but that was the deal. i understood from a real young age that the shit you do is your responsibilities and you cant expect nobody to pat you on the fuckin back for doin shit that you expected to do.

it helped that we never had cable when i was growin up so we really didnt watch TV alot anyways. i mean i watched sesame street, mr rogers, and on saturday morning i was allowed to watch cartoons from whenever i could wake up, until 12 noon, so that was my tv pretty much. there was so much else to do, i honestly never REALLY felt like truly like i was misin out on things., i would be jealous of shit my friends could watch, etc but it wasnt like i felt like it was hurtin me to not have all that tv to watch. when i hear shit like kids watch a avg. of 7 hrs a day of TV these days it makes my head spin like for real, that aint possible, thats insane. there is so much more to do yo, the joy of bein a kid and i aint sayin that in a corney way becuz i remember really enjoyin my real young life doin all kind of shit even just playin in the street you know.

But i aint tryna get off topic here. i am just sayin that i think it will be easier for me to not use candy and sugar and alll that crap-ass food and tv as a 'fix' for my kid when the time comes becuz i didnt grow up that way and the way i got raised, i never saw neither one of those things as any type of "reward" so i think that maybe i got some different views about it that makes it not quite as likely to be somethin i would abuse. cant speak til Im there, you know...But im just sayin that when you never been in that environment its easier to avoid.

and as far as givin a kid ACTUAL drugs....Omg...I could not BELIEVE that anybody would ever even THINK of doin this! I had no idea people was doing shit like this i mean that shit is FUCKED UP! I read it and thought holy shit, its really like that?

Honestly and I aint tryna go off again, but real quick i think a certain attitude is the problem. That same attitude of "I cant wait til the kids go back to school! Cant wait til the weekend is over. send them off to summer camp so i get 2 weeks of relaxing." and so on. My moms was never, ever like that, i aint sayin she was a saint or somethin but just that she never had that "Mom vs Kids" mentality, like somehow the kids are the enemey that you must excape from every chance you get. she was HAPPY to spend time with us. she quit work to stay home and raise me and my sisters even tho we needed the money we lived on way less becuz she wanted to be there to raise us up right.

i could never understand the moms that would talk about their kids like they were these little people living in their house that they just cant stand, and joke about gettin rid of them and goin to the spa, etc. as a mom you will get drained and really need a minute to yourself i aint sayin be the perfect martyr mom. but just that if you are talkin about that shit all the time, and always like "wish i could ditch the kids at the babysitters and go out for a manicure" maybe you really aint the motherin type. It aint all about you once you have kids and that attitude got to go. you do deserve time to yourself to feel good, sure. but im jus sayin, if you are dopin your kids up on benadryl "just for some me time" that is takin that idea waaaay too far. i feel like the idea of selfishly druggin up your kids so you can get some work done or w/ever, is another behavior of that attitude i was talkin about at the beginnin of this paragraph, where its like the mom is constantly tryna get away from the kids.

Iunno, to me when married people joke about how they hate eachother and will kill eachother for the life insurance, etc, shit like that its just a joke. but it leaves a bad taste in my mouth u kno? like if u got a really loving relationship based on respect and love sure you still joke around, but you dont even think jokin about some shit like that is all that funny, IDK. and also a joke is, "Ima just put some benadryl in little timmys milk and drop him off at grandmas house so i can go shopping." But even if its a joke i feel like both of them is A-in bad taste and B-a symptom of a marriage or a mother hood that maybe aint really based on all the right shit that it should be if you could be jokin about that type of shit so casually and all the time that maybe a certain amount of respect just aint there. its just my feelings but i cant comprehend talkin about my kid or my husband like that, you know? my baby is my priority, my life, my everything and i want to be there loving him or her every second all the time, not joking about knockin em out with drugs.
 
Lacey K -
You sound like you are going to be a wonderful mother.
Putting your children first is, to me, the key, and some people just aren't willing to do it.
The people who want to drug their kids, like you say, are like the people who can't wait for school to start. They are not putting their kids first, and they are failing to ENJOY their kids. I believe that they will look back on those times later in life and feel a deep regret.

I do need some time for myself, but I make sure I get that every day (or as much as possible) by riding my bicycle to work, which gives me exercise and time to think, and by waking up early and having a little time to myself then as well.

Being a good parent is, in my opinion, the absolute toughest job in the world.

Jackie Jones - we agree on a lot, it seems, but the difficulty is in defining "wrong". Most people are fine with TV and sugar, but you and I (and lacey k) are not. But we are in a slim minority. Probably 99% of all parents that I have met think TV may not be very good for kids, but use it as a babysitter anyway, and most don't know that sugar hurts the immune system, believing the myth that it merely causes cavities. In the same way, some people think "benadryl is not such a bad thing, and I do really need to relax..." I don't like it, but I can understand where they are coming from, and I don't want to draw an absolute line between what is WRONG ("drugs") and what is kinda not okay but we will do anyway (TV and sugar).
 
Top