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Drug use and appearance

My doc didn't question me too much, but I had gotten to the point where I needed it. I could concentrate good in high school. I was very productive. I just got worse and worse through college, however. I wasn't trying as hard. Use it or lose it. If you meditate, you are practicing concentration. You build up your frontal cortex when you do this. People who get diagnosed with ADHD usually are in the situation where they were never motivated to concentrate on anything and never built this up. In my case, I gave it away. I'm very confident that anyone can be good at concentrating. All it takes is practice. All a lot of these psychiatric conditions are are labels for a particular brain state caused my life up to that point. They aren't diseases you can't do anything about. With enough time an effort, a lot of things can be healed. If you can meditate yourself into a present enough state, you CAN'T have most of these problems because your mind is no longer overactive.

But the positive energy is what I was looking for. That gives me hope.
 
Yep. You seem like a very smart person, and I agree with everything you said. Maintaining that positive attitude/energy without the amps is crucial.
 
Confidence is palpable in mirrors and other people's eyes.

I use methamphetamine, and I must say it definitely firms up my face and eye region. Dehydration is not the cause of this: dehydration will cause your skin to become pallid, loose, and droopy. Instead, the inherent vasoconstriction of these drugs is what causes it. Vasoconstriction: it's what people apply ice, pressure, and occasionally cucumbers to their eyes and face to accomplish.

I always blow it and end up looking very unhealthily tweaked after a few weeks though. This time around I've been taking B vitamins to support, possibly? my adrenaline system, and orange juice to add valuable anti-oxidants to my system: this is definitely good for your brain as the breakdown of relevant neurotransmitters can contribute free radicals. I would also guess that the increased adrenaline and body heat would increase the incidence of free radicals in your body too.
 
On MDMA anybody can tell I'm rolling. I get a roll face that consists of my eyes half closing and a stupid smile with my tongue usually hanging out of my mouth to some degree.
 
I'm a 'take me as I am or piss off' kind of gal, so as long as it isn't an employer, physician, or policeman, I would prefer if people get the right impression! I would rather have friends/acquaintances that respect my authenticity, than ones that are in the dark about some sort of 'double life' they would dismiss within a second of knowing. Fashion wise, I alternate from dressing very sophisticated sexy, to trashy sexy, haha. I do not follow fashion trends, as it is a waste of time and money. I find that most fashion trends are usually quite tacky, and filled with awful patterns and unusual designs. I stick to more timeless elegant styles/colours, or classic punk rock styles of dress. Appearance wise, when my cheekbones get too pronounced, my complexion starts turning from white to grey, and my pupils shift from very large to very small, I could see how I may look 'questionable'. I've also been told that I tend to seem too 'at home' around drifters and notoriously bad neighborhoods, and that the way I carry myself in those situations is as though I am 'one of them', haha.
 
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hmmm I know most people wouldnt think i slammed H and pills for 4 years but i know i look like a typical pothead which i dont really care about. I wear jeans and t's mostly love my tye dye/band t-shirts and my hemp. I dont really care what people think honestly. Ill be 26 in 2 weeks and still get carded for cigs and always alcohol even though i usually always have 2-4 days of beard growth.
 
Laika said:
Lol, amazing.
So repetitive. I would not have read that entire thing if I had previewed the thread by scrolling through it first. You got me a quarter of the way in by the time I asked "how the fuck long is this post actually?"






FYI, Bluelight is one of those habitats, clearly.




You mean one of your parents?


I'm sure they're breathtaking.
Click to expand...
^"Breathtaking"...that made me laugh IRL!...not much does that I simply read

I kind of enjoyed that post....I think he kind of wrote different drafts of paragraphs he was gonna add without remembering to delete the ones he didn't wanna use....I actually like to write that way sometimes but I don't have the motivation to do it like that anymore....Shit, I'm too lazy to re-read my own posts before I post them! And the errors I make these days I would never have made before...I definitely think drugs have killed my ability to focus on fine details...shit!

@Phase0)))

I like your writing style and see you as actually having a lot of potential....Don't know what it is, because you won't win any writing awards for that post! but if you could get in a "zone" with "sequencing" your sentences and paragraphs a little better, I think you could do some wicked writing!
 
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