charlie clean
Bluelighter
Grand girl, that's the attitude! From the tone of your posts, it appears definitely the right move for you. Hope you can tough it out to the other side. Sure everyone on here is rooting for you.
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Drug Sabbatical Support & Appreciation Thread
- Thread starter koneko
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Grand girl, that's the attitude! From the tone of your posts, it appears definitely the right move for you. Hope you can tough it out to the other side. Sure everyone on here is rooting for you.
smackcraft
Bluelighter
i dunno but its defo new stuff as ATM23 found here in this link http://www.mhra.gov.uk/home/groups/par/documents/websiteresources/con120434.pdf
and not just in the UK but as i say i dont understand chemistry but they surely wouldnt bring out a new kind with worse beneficial factors and if you look at the link its not just here its the entire UK and other EU countries that are getting this new stuff , im not the one to ask why i only made the post as an informative thing , maybe there is a new regular non SF meth out too ? i didnt ask because i have not been on the non SF stuff for a long time so i wouldnt know but i just had to change chemists and i cant see both of them messing up the mixing or what ever they have to do to make it up and ive felt the high feeling from both chemists which have the new green stuff
i just thought people that are on regular meth (non SF) should know that there is a new SF methadone out which i was told by the actual head pharmacist at the time it came out her words were " This is a new methadone thats out and is green too like the regular methadone so dont think we have made a mistake its just new "
Ans as said iv noticed since the change that i dont have issues with going to the toilet anymore at all and that the sugar craving i used to get has vanished too so IF others on SF methadone noticed this too they could of reported back so that other members here at BL that are still on the regular methadone might want to try switching to the SF so they too can benefit from these improvements
But as i said im not the person who can answer these questions i do not make the stuff im just giving out information that has been passed on and i have experienced since the change and also as said ATM23 found that link posted so its not just the UK its other places too.
rockstar 69
Ex-Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 26, 2011
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- 3,681
He doesn't sound like no mate. i'd be ripping in that situation, nevermind not letting him use in your house I'd have let him in with the drugs, then confiscated them and booted him out. Talk about rubbing it in your face, cheeky bastard!
cherrycolouredfunk
Bluelighter
Aye, i'm getting the money back he owes me then he's not coming in my house to use again. He can come visit me as a mate, and that's it. We'll soon see how much of a mate he is.
rockstar 69
Ex-Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 26, 2011
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- 3,681
Good thinking CCF.
cherrycolouredfunk
Bluelighter
Day 2 and not feeling TOO bad. Can't eat so I have no energy to sort anything out. Dropped to 9 stone 8 in just a few weeks, I was 10stone5 three weeks ago.
Insomnia is horrendous, everything i've been trying to block out just keeps rolling around and around in my head, things i've not thought about for years, then the crying, then the depression and feeling of utter and total emptiness and worthlessness, blaming myself for fucking everything , feelings of guilt, maybe losing my flat etc. Then there's the tossing and turning, I move every two seconds trying to get comfortable, or my legs just keep kicking out for no reason.
Not seen anyone since Sunday. Take gear - lose friends, stop taking gear - lose friends.
Insomnia is horrendous, everything i've been trying to block out just keeps rolling around and around in my head, things i've not thought about for years, then the crying, then the depression and feeling of utter and total emptiness and worthlessness, blaming myself for fucking everything , feelings of guilt, maybe losing my flat etc. Then there's the tossing and turning, I move every two seconds trying to get comfortable, or my legs just keep kicking out for no reason.
Not seen anyone since Sunday. Take gear - lose friends, stop taking gear - lose friends.
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charlie clean
Bluelighter
Seconded. If you stay with it all the physical stuff will be over the day after tomorrow. Might seem a long way ahead but it will arrive. Then 3-4 weeks to regain your 'natural energy' ( pay attention to your diet and take vitamin supplements to make it asap) and you'll be good as new. If it gets too much, you can always take a minimum dose. Trouble is you have to start at the beginning again so push on through if you can. Don't worry about lost friends, there'll be new ones just around the corner. Remember things are nothing like as bleak as they probably seem right now and the 'emotional overload' will pass as well.
cherrycolouredfunk
Bluelighter
Cheers 
I feel much more positive already as i've just been down to Bristol Drugs project to see the nurse regarding my thumb as I cant feel it in one area, and its brusied and painful, apparently i've severed a nerve, it's going to take a while to heal, but nothing to worry about.
Got one to one meeting tomorrow with a worker, and meeting with housing support worker at same place, to try and fight my injunction and help me keep my flat, maybe even get me moved somewhere else. All this came about because a friend (who admittedly was sat gouching on my couch til I kept flicking him) came to see how I was about 2 hours ago, and said he'd be back later with some food for me. He encouraged me to get out of the flat, and get stuff done. He manages to do it and he's a heavy user! Basically, he gave me the kick I needed. I had to get some cider just to take the edge off though to fight the anxiety as i've got no blues, so the emotional overload is in hiding for now.
E-mailed work, all may not be lost, they want me to come in to see what support they can offer me in terms of counselling and support (They know about my mental health issues, but NOT my drug use) Might have lost my job, but shall see.
If my mate had not turned up today, id still have been sat on my sofa feeling like all was lost. He said he walked past my flat 4 times yesterday, in a dilemma if he should come in or not as he knew i'd be right in the hardest part. He said when we both get clean, he's going back on a script, do I want to go out and do things with him, maybe go on a date. He's been staying over a few times, and kissed me after three nights of nearly kissing me, it was one of those, nearly happened things, but just ended up a cuddle and me gouching on him , I sound like a kid!!!! He kept saying he's bad for me, but wants to be a mate to get me clean. Plus, he might be facing prison, i'm going to be distraught. I've just come out of a relationship where were were both using, it's TROUBLE!
Just tonight to get through, then like you said, things will slowly get better. First 72 hours are always the worst. GBL withdrawals and alcohol WD's are worse than this for me, I aint kidding.
SOOO tempted to go out and get a score on tick though. Being strong. So strong that i'm amazing myself. My mate just said to me he things i'm stronger than I admit to myself.
The friend who keeps turning up at mine to use hasn't shown his face, and apparently has pissed a few of my 'user' mates off. He's going to end up in trouble, deep.
I'm a cat, I must be on my 9th life now though. I've come through so much so many times
I feel much more positive already as i've just been down to Bristol Drugs project to see the nurse regarding my thumb as I cant feel it in one area, and its brusied and painful, apparently i've severed a nerve, it's going to take a while to heal, but nothing to worry about. Got one to one meeting tomorrow with a worker, and meeting with housing support worker at same place, to try and fight my injunction and help me keep my flat, maybe even get me moved somewhere else. All this came about because a friend (who admittedly was sat gouching on my couch til I kept flicking him) came to see how I was about 2 hours ago, and said he'd be back later with some food for me. He encouraged me to get out of the flat, and get stuff done. He manages to do it and he's a heavy user! Basically, he gave me the kick I needed. I had to get some cider just to take the edge off though to fight the anxiety as i've got no blues, so the emotional overload is in hiding for now.
E-mailed work, all may not be lost, they want me to come in to see what support they can offer me in terms of counselling and support (They know about my mental health issues, but NOT my drug use) Might have lost my job, but shall see.
If my mate had not turned up today, id still have been sat on my sofa feeling like all was lost. He said he walked past my flat 4 times yesterday, in a dilemma if he should come in or not as he knew i'd be right in the hardest part. He said when we both get clean, he's going back on a script, do I want to go out and do things with him, maybe go on a date. He's been staying over a few times, and kissed me after three nights of nearly kissing me, it was one of those, nearly happened things, but just ended up a cuddle and me gouching on him , I sound like a kid!!!! He kept saying he's bad for me, but wants to be a mate to get me clean. Plus, he might be facing prison, i'm going to be distraught. I've just come out of a relationship where were were both using, it's TROUBLE!
Just tonight to get through, then like you said, things will slowly get better. First 72 hours are always the worst. GBL withdrawals and alcohol WD's are worse than this for me, I aint kidding.
SOOO tempted to go out and get a score on tick though. Being strong. So strong that i'm amazing myself. My mate just said to me he things i'm stronger than I admit to myself.
The friend who keeps turning up at mine to use hasn't shown his face, and apparently has pissed a few of my 'user' mates off. He's going to end up in trouble, deep.
I'm a cat, I must be on my 9th life now though. I've come through so much so many times
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cherrycolouredfunk
Bluelighter
Well, my 2 days off lasted long. Used again, IV Crack and smack.
Ill sort it tomorrow with my one to one meeting.
Ill sort it tomorrow with my one to one meeting.
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charlie clean
Bluelighter
Never mind, Cherry, you lasted thirty hours longer than many of us can manage.
Now, you need to be asking yourself some rather difficult questions. Why do you use heroin? Don't be influenced by the bullshit, be honest with yourself. Would you happily continue to take it were you allowed it on prescription? Because of its strange, primitive demonisation by fearful 'drug warriors', it's unlikely you will. Don't let ''them'' give you a new, unwanted habit and string you out on methadone or subutex instead. You have to appreciate most of the people ''treating'' you, however much you'd like to think otherwise, don't really have a clue what they're doing. Don't let anyone do your thinking for you, tempting as it may seem. It's you and you only who feels the results. Know what you're doing and make the right decisions.
As you're probably aware by now, the physical withdrawals wouldn't be that unbearable for you if you had pressed on to the end. (although every kick is harder than the one before.) It's what to do afterwards that's the problem. There's no point putting yourself through it if you're quickly going to lapse. Needs a bit of planning and considerable thought. But, if the alternative is spending lots of money, risking arrest, and damaging yourself with cut street gear, it would seem to be your best course of action. Maybe just stick to the very minimum until you're ready to strike out in whatever direction you choose. Good luck, Cherry, I'm sure you'll do it right.
Now, you need to be asking yourself some rather difficult questions. Why do you use heroin? Don't be influenced by the bullshit, be honest with yourself. Would you happily continue to take it were you allowed it on prescription? Because of its strange, primitive demonisation by fearful 'drug warriors', it's unlikely you will. Don't let ''them'' give you a new, unwanted habit and string you out on methadone or subutex instead. You have to appreciate most of the people ''treating'' you, however much you'd like to think otherwise, don't really have a clue what they're doing. Don't let anyone do your thinking for you, tempting as it may seem. It's you and you only who feels the results. Know what you're doing and make the right decisions.
As you're probably aware by now, the physical withdrawals wouldn't be that unbearable for you if you had pressed on to the end. (although every kick is harder than the one before.) It's what to do afterwards that's the problem. There's no point putting yourself through it if you're quickly going to lapse. Needs a bit of planning and considerable thought. But, if the alternative is spending lots of money, risking arrest, and damaging yourself with cut street gear, it would seem to be your best course of action. Maybe just stick to the very minimum until you're ready to strike out in whatever direction you choose. Good luck, Cherry, I'm sure you'll do it right.
Mugz
Bluelighter
I have one more bag of ODT arriving and then I am giving all drugs except for my diazepam taper up for at least 6 months, maybe longer. All I am getting from them is negative effects, on my body, in my head and they are causing me to miss so many days of work that my job and along with that my place to live is in quite a lot of danger. I can't fuck up anymore times so I have to choose to give up the drugs.
I hope that I can do that whilst still coming on bluelight. There are plenty of other members here who don't use anymore. Bluelight has always been a big support to me, but it is also a massive trigger to use.
I can't afford to fuck up my life even more than it is fucked up already. So drugs and drink have to go.
I hope that I can do that whilst still coming on bluelight. There are plenty of other members here who don't use anymore. Bluelight has always been a big support to me, but it is also a massive trigger to use.
I can't afford to fuck up my life even more than it is fucked up already. So drugs and drink have to go.
Good luck Mugz.
It is possible to balance them but there have to be compromises made. I'm sure you'll get to that stage without having to come over all Betty Ford.
For the time being though I think you've made the right decision as your balance was maybe slightly out-of-kilter. I mean, how can you pay for drugs without a job, eh?
Take care.
It is possible to balance them but there have to be compromises made. I'm sure you'll get to that stage without having to come over all Betty Ford.
For the time being though I think you've made the right decision as your balance was maybe slightly out-of-kilter. I mean, how can you pay for drugs without a job, eh?
Take care.
Good luck Mugz.
It is possible to balance them but there have to be compromises made. I'm sure you'll get to that stage without having to come over all Betty Ford.
For the time being though I think you've made the right decision as your balance was maybe slightly out-of-kilter. I mean, how can you pay for drugs without a job, eh?
Take care.
Haha - I think I'm on the job seeker sabbatical but I like to think I'm just doing really well. Poor as fuck but healthier than usual.
Funnily enough, I was absolutely swimming in drugs throughout the whole of my JSA 'gap year' (plus a few months).
Took a lot more resourcefulness and guile on my part though, which aren't my strengths. Work is by far the easier option for me.
Took a lot more resourcefulness and guile on my part though, which aren't my strengths. Work is by far the easier option for me.
brimz
Bluelighter
i'm still on my Gap Year , kin hell its been a long one
Danny Weed
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 11, 2008
- Messages
- 1,899
lol same here, it is starting to look like a gap decade.
Gap life? I'd rather not align my life decisions with jumpers
More like drug holidays....nicer eh
B9
Bluelight Crew
Good luck Mugabe ( I always liked that name). you can do it - bluelight can also be habit forming & it may be worthwhile to set a goal of not logging onto it for a couple of weeks then seeing what useful things you can find to do with the spare time you've freed up.
I'm not sure but so far as I know your drug use is pretty much (heavy? ) recreational so there shouldn't be any big issues with physical illness & the like.
I dunno maybe take up reading running topiary join a band just do things in that space you're going to create that way it shouldn't feel so lonesome.
I found that setting short term goals was useful, most of those were centred around doing other things as opposed to making abstinence the centrepiece of redefining my actions.
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