• Welcome Guest

    Forum Guidelines Bluelight Rules
    Fun 💃 Threads Overdosed? Click
    D R U G   C U L T U R E

drug jokes!

A cop pulls over a car that is swerving from one lane to another,
pulls over the car and tells the driver to get out.

The guy can barely stand up

"have you been drinking tonight sir ?"

"nnnooo offficccerr nnnooottt a siiip"

"Ok sir, do you see this white line in the middle of the road?
You know what to do right ?"

"Yessss offfficer"

Guy bends on his knees, puts his face touching the road, holds one nostril,
and takes a big SNIIIIIIF"

=D

Of course it's much better when told in person.
 
How can you tell when you've done too much speed?
- You blow your nose and you get cartilidge.

Why did the tweaker cross the road?
- He saw some of his stuff in his neighbor's garage.
 
So there'a a bunch of guys at a bar. They'll all drinking and having fun.
A comp walks in but heads over to the side so that they won't raelly notice him.
Then, one of the guys says really loudly, "Welp boys! Gotta ride back to my house!" As hes walkign towards to the door, he knocks over stools and bumps into numerouspeople mummering "mh soryym." He gets to the door and tries walking through it, ash he did not see the handle.
He even't gets out of the barn and whips out his keys. Slumbering, tripping over his own shoes while he's walking towards his cars, he fumbles with the keys to find the right one.
Meanwhile, the cop is just sitting at the bar laughing his ass off, thinking of how good of a deal this is gunna be. The drunkee goes up to all the cars and checks if his key fits. He does thisumerous times, about for 5 minutes, and eventurall gets to his car. He puts the keys and walks in, and the nthe police officer smiles and walks to his and says you're under arrest.
The man replies "Sorry occiffer? Wat's i do wrong?"
"You appear too drunk to drife that vehicle. Pleasewalk the straightline's test."
And the drunk does so perfectly. The officer, amazed, then asks him to do the breathalizer test. When the drunkee passes positive, the officer replies, "Damn these only machines. Guess I'llhave to take you back to station."
And the drunk replies "SOrry officer, but that won't be needed. Toay I'm the designated drunk"
 
Last edited:
totally non related but I just can't help myself.....

what the difference between micheal jackson and a shopping bag??? ones made of plastic and is hazerdous to children and the other carries groceries

I've had my say!!
 
What the fuck? I don't even remember posting that =( (Drugs are so bad kids).
This thread is dying. Someone save it please !
 
-=ReD-hAzE=- said:
A young man on acid walked into a dentist's office and said, " Can you help me? I think I'm a moth."
The dentist said, "You don't need a dentist. You need a psychiatrist."
"Yes, I know," the man said.
The dentist asked, "So then why did you come in here?"
The man replied, "The light was on."
Click to expand...

^^ that one had me in stitches :D


oh, and here a true story... the other day i dreamt that I had 6 fingers on each hand ... I kept counting and i turned out to be 6, again and again... really weird...

so when i woke up I felt a bit weirded out and told my wife and she just said "well it's better than the simpsons, they only have 4"

8o
 
Anyone ever try plugging Nitrous??

I have, but I cant seem to keep the N2O bulbs from falling out of my ass. :D :D
 
I think Drug Culture needs a new mod.
(One that IVs meth would be good)
 
^^^
+++

icon_twisted.gif
 
bump for merge

anyone else have any cheesy one-liners? ;)
 
Last edited:
As a matter of fact, I do:

Q: Why can't Jesus roll joints?
A: Because his gear falls through the holes! =D =D =D

HIT IT BOYS >>>>>>>>>>
NailedHisLoveRed3x5.gif
 
Q. What did one deadhead say to the other when he ran out of weed?

A. "Hey man, this music sucks!"
 
Q: What do you call someone who stays up for 14 days straight?

A: A two-weeker.

Q: Why do tweekers fuck doggie style?

A: So they can both look out the window at the same time.
 
Alcohol and Calculus dont mix...Dont drink and derive.

Its terrible i know, but i didnt make it up. It was a friends away message.
 
whats the best thing about being a meth addict?

only one sleep till christmas.




(
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top