Flickering
Bluelighter
Last night taking a post-sunset bushwalk with a friend, I stopped and looked around the woods and was surprised to see a familiar optical illusion. It looked as though the outside world was bending away from me, stretching ever more distant.. "Are you seeing this?" I asked my friend, but no, he wasn't. It reminded me distinctly of my first san pedro trip, and I wondered if I was experiencing a mild flashback.
Later, as I was driving home, something else happened. I found myself hovering around the freakish mindset I had from both the times I've smoked weed - especially the first, which was a much higher amount. It wasn't a good frame of mind to be in while driving. I basically got this niggling feeling, which came across as a convinced thought - it seemed self-evident - that reality isn't actually real. All my sensory perceptions, sense of self and even memories became distant, surreal, ridiculous. It felt as though I was wavering on the edge of waking up from this 'self' I thought I was into something different, being... what? Nothingness, maybe? Anyway, this was nothing compared to the actual weed experiences, which were in turn nothing on the magic mushroom experiences that took this to a whole other, horrific level, so I simply dismissed it as an imagination-induced flashback.
Reflecting on it, though, it bothers me. It sounds awfully like schizophrenia, and the extent of dissociation was enough to make me think it might at least be HPPD. I was very tired at the time, which is known to exacerbate HPPD. I seem to be quite sane, but nonetheless, I found this vivid imagination disturbing. I don't plan on smoking weed again anyway, but has anyone experienced a similar phenomenon, or do you have any thoughts on it at all?
Later, as I was driving home, something else happened. I found myself hovering around the freakish mindset I had from both the times I've smoked weed - especially the first, which was a much higher amount. It wasn't a good frame of mind to be in while driving. I basically got this niggling feeling, which came across as a convinced thought - it seemed self-evident - that reality isn't actually real. All my sensory perceptions, sense of self and even memories became distant, surreal, ridiculous. It felt as though I was wavering on the edge of waking up from this 'self' I thought I was into something different, being... what? Nothingness, maybe? Anyway, this was nothing compared to the actual weed experiences, which were in turn nothing on the magic mushroom experiences that took this to a whole other, horrific level, so I simply dismissed it as an imagination-induced flashback.
Reflecting on it, though, it bothers me. It sounds awfully like schizophrenia, and the extent of dissociation was enough to make me think it might at least be HPPD. I was very tired at the time, which is known to exacerbate HPPD. I seem to be quite sane, but nonetheless, I found this vivid imagination disturbing. I don't plan on smoking weed again anyway, but has anyone experienced a similar phenomenon, or do you have any thoughts on it at all?
