Img_9999
Bluelighter
Hello everyone. Sharing my first experience with DOPr. It is a fairly long trip report, but the drug in question provides a very long experience as well. I added a small TL;DR at the end for those not interested in all the personal insights and details.
Some context:
An interdimensional being of light, to whom I feel infinite gratitude, gifted me with a small amount of DOPr. This is a psychedelic I had been interested in for a long time, since reading its PIHKAL entry, which made it sound really unique and intriguing. Other reasons for my interest were that I usually enjoy long lasting psychedelics, and 2C-P, of which DOPr is the amphetamine analogue, is one of my favorite drugs ever. It was also going to be my first trial with a DOx, which was another reason for excitement. So I had been looking forward to this experience.
The trip was mostly spent inside with my partner, B., who didn’t partake but offered to keep company while she worked on her laptop next to me. I decided to take my dose at around 9 pm. My reasoning was that since based on reports I expected this trip to last at least 24 hours, I would be skipping one night of sleep anyway. And I preferred to stay up all night tripping and then slowly come down during the day so I could sleep on my normal schedule on the second night. I was planning on assessing where the trip was going to take me during the night, then go out at dawn and head to a nearby mountain for a hike (ended up not doing this, though). The week following my trip I had several days off because of a national holiday, so I had enough time to recover afterwards. In many senses it was a great set and setting.
I had weighted 5.4 mg of DOPr (I work in a lab and have access to very precise analytical scales, so I have a +/-0.2 mg confidence in the dose I took), then dissolved them in a very small amount of a juice and drank it. I hadn’t eaten for the last 5 hours before dosing and my tolerance was at baseline (Since my last trip had been a couple of month ago).
The trip itself:
The come-up took a notably long time. It wasn’t until the first hour that I started feeling an undefined “something”, but it quickly faded into a background feeling, very slowly developing. At the second hour I started getting some hints of color saturation, and a warm, soft, almost sedating sensation started creeping in very gradually. I felt myself slowly entering the psychedelic state.
It took two and a half hours until I felt the first sketches of a headspace. It was as if I suddenly became conscious of how deep thought can go. My mind felt “wider”. Still, I felt mostly sober, and very calm. Sedation began intensifying, things started taking a dissociated, oneiric distance. One hour later, at t+ 3.5, I started getting some faint visuals, mostly waving on surfaces. Up until this point I was feeling extremely comfortable, no bodyload at all, but with the waves came some nausea. I laid down on the couch for a bit. Soon I started feeling very cold and almost feverish. The dissociation increased, for a brief moment I felt almost delirious, like in a fever dream. The intensity of the trip augmented continuously, but very slowly.
I would say the peak started at the fourth hour after ingestion. It suddenly became very visual. Looking at the ceiling, patterns were forming and coming out in 3-D structures. Colors were very saturated, and everything adopted warm orange and yellow hues. I still felt nauseous and uncomfortably cold, but less so, and the uncomfortable body sensations began to disappear shortly after the peak started. The oneiric undertones of the trip intensified, allegorical thinking was enhanced, everything felt full of meaning.
Four and a half hours had passed, I suddenly became very conscious of the tension between the “I”, my memories and projections, and the present. It’s so hard living in the present. We get tangled in a million things, the ego gets in the way, memories and expectations always distort the things we experience. And yet, what’s so special about the now, the< present, the material reality right in front of my eyes? I wrote this question down, and as an answer to myself: “Everything. Nothing. The paradox and the absurd is ever present in our experience of being a human being. I would like to hold it all and take everything with me, yet it seems like there’s nothing to take away from anything at all. There’s nothing to take away. The universe is essentially mute. Speech is exclusively human.”
“The paradox” was a rhetoric figure that appeared repeatedly during the trip. I thought about how the very same thing that makes us alive is what makes us die. About how we recognize things as alive only when we recognize their fragility. A condition for being alive is eventually dying. What differentiates a rock and a flower, other than the fact that flowers need nurture and care, otherwise they wither and die? Does it mean the being is always incomplete? Is being longing? It is always the “nothing”, as an excess and a limit, that gives sense to “everything”. My mind was wandering through this kind of thoughts, and contradiction and the tension between opposites became a big part of my internal monologue.
For the first hour of the peak I was writing down, taking notes, feeling very mentally active. At the same time I felt calm, not stimulated at all. It felt like I was dreaming. And it was a nice dream. I took a look at the timer I had set in my phone to track the time during the trip. The image of the analogue clock simulated by the mobile was mesmerizing to me. The hands of the clock signaling seconds going by hypnotized me. It felt so fast ! Then so slow ! It wasn’t constant at all ! I watched it spiraling out, and the image was pouring out of the phone screen, or slowly dragging me in. I wrote down: “Lost in the infinite tunnel of time: In each second that passes there is more information than I could process in all of eternity”.
I closed my eyes, complex and colorful images invaded my vision. Suddenly I felt wonderfully aware. Everything felt clear and transparent. I looked around, and it was as if I could look through things. “We live playing the fool, voluntarily shutting down our attention”, I said out loud. B. looked at me alarmed: “What do you mean?”.
- “We live in an anesthetized state, in order to function we stop paying attention to a lot of what’s going on, we get trapped in our routines, in our personas, in our unchecked assumptions, and soon we accumulate unattended desires, unattended frustrations, we lose track of what we want and what we need”.
- "But that is necessary to some extent. We can't be conscious of everything all at once, that would fill us with anxiety", said B.
- "Yes, It is a defense mechanism of the ego. But it is easy to rely too much on that confort, and get lost in it"
I was feeling strong psychedelic clarity. That feeling when you look deep into yourself, and no excuses, no fictions get in the way. I started getting a clear idea of what to do about things I had postponed indefinitely, relegating them as secondary, but which I knew were important. Right then, I felt them in my body. Ignored desires slowly become physical needs. I was aching for change, my very own body was demanding things to me that I was not doing. I realized I had been voluntarily choosing to disregard its demands. It felt like a tough burden. But also an invitation to take better care of myself and my dreams and ambitions. “Awareness is clarity but is also pain. The very senses that bring the world to our attention can also make us hurt.”
I meditated about the clarity I was experiencing. It was a strange thing to think about. I was getting “epiphanies” about myself, but at the same time most of what I was thinking about felt obvious. “What is it then, this state?” – I wrote on my small notebook. “Only the adequate attention? What is it right now, that is so clear and patent?”. The idea of attention and awareness became another leitmotif of the trip. At around the sixth hour I suddenly felt very excited by the idea that everything that exists is an invitation for our intellect to analyze and venture into. Thinking about this, I suddenly felt euphoric and agitated. An immense and optimistic faith in the intellectual capacity of the human race started invading me. This made me feel very alive, and from this point on the trip took a very romantic tone. Everything I thought about appeared mysterious and inviting.
I was feeling talkative and very mentally sharp. I had some confusion, typical of the psychedelic state, but my mind felt fast and I felt energetic. My partner studies computer science and right then, was next to me writing a program. I looked at her working on it and could notice she was struggling with something. I asked what was challenging her. She tried to explain it to me, and although I don’t know how to program and understand almost nothing of the technical concepts, somehow, I managed to understand the thinking structure that was leading her to mental knots. We talked about it and in between asking questions I was able to offer a perspective that according to her, actually helped overcome some of the obstacles she was running into. All of this was very interesting to me, I felt very engaged by what she was working in. I also loved watching her thinking, I felt fascinated by her concentrated look, my visuals took the form of lines around her head and eyes and it was almost as if I could “see” her brain working. I was feeling increasingly euphoric and mentally stimulated, although not restless at all.
B. went to bed at about t+10. I laid with her for a while, we cuddled and then made love. It was very intimate and intense, I can’t really say the physical sensation was heightened, but I felt a very strong connection with my partner. Boundaries between our bodies dissolved. It was as if instead of living through my own body, I was experiencing her pleasure. Afterwards, we hugged for a while until B. fell asleep.
I had planned to go on a hike at that point but decided against it because I was still tripping relatively hard and the prospect of taking the public transport seemed unappealing. I had skipped sleep, so it felt like a bad idea. I still decided to go out for a walk through the neighborhood and watch the sun come out outside. At this point visuals had already started to fade away slowly, but the trip had retained that surreal feeling of reverie.
Now, sorry for getting into some literal psychonaut shit. No, really, I’m sorry if this is too much information, but before going out for my walk I went to evacuate my bowels and I was tripping, so some psychedelia permeated the deed. While I sat in the toilet, I felt like I was letting go of a lot of stuff, not in the literal sense, but I got a strong sensation that my body was detoxifying. I thought about how at least a part of what we excrete are dead intestinal cells that shed off when they die and get replaced, so in a sense I felt like I was changing my skin and letting go of my dead previous self. From this point on, the concept of the purge became a central theme of the trip. I felt like I was slowly renewing, in the same sense people feel reborn after an Ayahuasca or San Pedro ceremony. I was changing skin like snakes do.
Going out to the empty streets, watching the sun rise and the day slowly starting to unfold was incredible. I sat in a park next to my place and watched the people passing by. Everyone seemed so determined to go wherever they were heading, and that felt hilarious and absurd to me. I felt content and at peace. I took a very long walk through the park and reflected upon many things. The question I made myself hours before returned to me: “What is this clarity? What is this state?”. I felt like one of the most important things that allow for the deep introspection that psychedelics catalyze is that when I trip, I stop everything I’m doing, which is something I rarely do. What a luxury it felt, to be wondering aimlessly on a Monday morning, reflecting on myself and life in the big city I live in! I realized that having free time nowadays is a complete privilege, the fact that I can take a day off and have no financial worries, or any type of obligation is a complete blessing. I felt extremely grateful for being able to make this for myself, but at the same time a little bit sad that it is such a rare thing in the agitated life I’ve been having for the past couple of years.
For a while I wondered if people passing by would think I looked weird or something. It wasn't an anxious thought, but more like a curiosity. I decided no one would pay attention to me, as many people come and go and no one is exactly a resident of the park I was walking in. I felt sort of protected by this anonymity the big city grants to its inhabitants. I'm no one here, in a way. I looked around and felt like I was a part of the streets I was walking. I was an insignificant part of the city, I was a part of the park. I am nothing. For a moment I got the feeling that I was approaching ego death. I was certain that if I was to lay down and let go, I would completely dissolve into my own mind. But I was functional enough to realize it was not a good idea and it was not the adequate place for that, so I kinda kept walking and the sensation faded.
I encountered some graffiti and street art in my walk, and it looked so colorful and some of it incredibly psychedelic. Protest messages written on the walls felt deep and charged with some sort of simple, street wisdom. For a while I was absorbed in a deep mindtrip thinking about social injustice, politics, economy … I grieved for humanity, and I felt a strong sense of compassion for everyone living with a bigger burden than mine. I felt worried but not hopeless. I looked at my phone and it was t+ 14.00. I wrote down: “Still lost in the infinite tunnel of time”.
After a while I decided I wanted some music. I feel pretty stereotypical for my choice, but I put on my headphones, played the new Tool album and walked around some more. Honestly, even though I had enjoyed the album in previous listens, I had felt a slight disappointment with it. I liked it because I love Tool and I am happy to have new music from them, but it also felt kinda samey. When I listened to in on my DOPr trip, it made me cry. Scandalously. I had to sit down in a bus stop while I cried, it felt so beautiful and I felt so grateful for it. Cars stopped next to me when the traffic light turned red, so I had to cover my face with my hoodie. After a while I managed to control myself and kept walking and listening to the whole thing. I still cried again several times throughout the album and felt like a madman walking around with tears running down my face. But it was powerfully cleansing, complete emotional purging. In the small notebook I was carrying I wrote “This is some 'I cried listening to Tool' type of shit”.
When the album ended, I was already nearing home again. I decided to get in. Visuals had mostly faded, but I was still tripping relatively hard. The weird thing was that after more than 12 hours of tripping, the psychedelic headspace sort of turned into a new baseline. I could tell I was still tripping but I was feeling mentally clear and mostly functional.
I got in and woke B. We chatted for a while until we were both hungry, so we went out to buy lunch. We ate outside in the park, and I was feeling extremely happy. The feeling of purge and rebirth had intensified in the last hours, and I felt renewed and euphoric, but at the same time very calmed and at peace. I honestly felt like I was having one of the best days of my life. The surreal undertones of the trip had not subsided yet. Hanging out with B. made me realize how in love I’m with her. And I couldn’t stop telling her between joyous laughter and hugs. She was one of the reasons why I felt so at ease. I felt very lucky to be loved in the way she loves me. The love I was feeling was compounded by the warm sensation that was bathing my heart since the peak.
At t+18 I felt like I was already starting to come down, but I could tell it would take a long time. We headed back to my apartment and just chilled for the rest of the afternoon. I was still getting that feeling of excitement and intellectual stimulation. We read and talked for hours about physics, politics, ourselves … B. told me she felt like she got a “contact high” from me, and at times felt like she was tripping too, specially during the night, at the beginning of my trip. She said she could tell the trip had been meaningful to me, and in a way, it was so for her too.
Around twenty hours after dropping the DOPr, I was actually still tripping, but at this point I was too tired to interact with whatever the drug was doing to my mind and senses. I couldn’t pay attention to the faint visuals, so I just felt like my vision was kinda blurry and defective. I felt wide awake but started to feel really tired by this point. Still, since I felt almost sober, I decided to walk to the supermarket to buy some stuff before it closed for a couple of days due to the national holidays. Uh oh. When in public I realized I was tripping harder than I thought. I felt very confused and almost dissociated. Luckily I had B. with me to help me out. We managed to quickly get out there and headed home to sleep.
At t+23 I took a shower and it felt blissful. I prepared to go to bed, but I realized my pupils were still slightly dilated. I hung out with B. for a while, and at t+26 I took 0.5 mg of clonazepam and went to bed. I fell asleep maybe half an hour later but woke up feeling pretty active shortly after. Since I had to meet with a friend semi-early the next day, I didn’t want to have another sleepless night, so at t+28 I took another 0.5 mg of clonazepam and then had 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep.
The next day I woke up feeling tired, but all things considered it wasn’t really that bad. After a coffee I felt relatively normal. I met my friend at her house and we went for a short hike. The whole day I had a relaxing afterglow, and even though I was feeling tired I was also feeling refreshed and renewed, in a pretty good mood. This feeling has not faded away at the moment of writing this report, seven days after the trip.
TL;DR:
I had an extremely pleasant and significant experience with DOPr. Besides maybe 30 minutes of nausea during the come-up, I felt no uncomfortable sides effect whatsoever. It was very visual for the first half of the peak, which lasted from the fourth to maybe the twelfth hour after ingestion. At the eighteenth hour I was clearly approaching come down territory, but it faded away even more gradually than it came up. Through all of it, it retained a surreal quality, things felt distant and oneiric. Total duration was close to 30 hours. At t+26 I still had some remnants of a headspace, and my vision wasn’t exactly normal, even though visuals started disappearing at about t+14.
Music didn’t sound “better” in the sense that it didn’t feel sharper and more detailed like it does on some psychedelics, but emotional response to music was surely enhanced. It was very energetic but not restless or jittery at all. The most prominent aspect was the mental stimulation, my mind felt sharp and intellectual activity was very engaging. It was extremely euphoric, not in the empathogenic “this is the best feeling ever” way, but everything felt exciting and inviting. My mood was mostly optimistic and talkative throughout, although feeling very emotionally volatile. It was introspective and almost confronting, but very gently so. It helped me achieve a high level of clarity towards myself and extreme awareness for the things going on in my life. The whole experience was very therapeutic and life affirming. DOPr put me in that state where you just can't deflect your attention from things, which coupled with the ego softening psychedelics produce helped me dig deep into myself and question my own assumptions. When you reach this state, you feel disarmed, and you have to build yourself all over again. Sometimes this can be uncomfortable and confronting, but this time I felt like I mostly affirmed what I'm doing and strengthened some of the things I want. I feel validated after this trip.
I was satisfied with the dose I took, but I could easily see pushing it a little bit further, maybe next time I'll take 7 mg. This one is definitely an ally, and I feel extremely happy to have had experienced it. If anyone has any further questions, I'd be happy to respond
. Also, if someone notices grammar mistakes please feel free to point it out haha, I'm always happy to be corrected and learn.
Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_dopr
substancecode_amphetamines
substancecode_phenethylamines
explevel_firsttime
exptype_positive
exptype_glowing
exptype_spiritual
roacode_oral
Some context:
An interdimensional being of light, to whom I feel infinite gratitude, gifted me with a small amount of DOPr. This is a psychedelic I had been interested in for a long time, since reading its PIHKAL entry, which made it sound really unique and intriguing. Other reasons for my interest were that I usually enjoy long lasting psychedelics, and 2C-P, of which DOPr is the amphetamine analogue, is one of my favorite drugs ever. It was also going to be my first trial with a DOx, which was another reason for excitement. So I had been looking forward to this experience.
The trip was mostly spent inside with my partner, B., who didn’t partake but offered to keep company while she worked on her laptop next to me. I decided to take my dose at around 9 pm. My reasoning was that since based on reports I expected this trip to last at least 24 hours, I would be skipping one night of sleep anyway. And I preferred to stay up all night tripping and then slowly come down during the day so I could sleep on my normal schedule on the second night. I was planning on assessing where the trip was going to take me during the night, then go out at dawn and head to a nearby mountain for a hike (ended up not doing this, though). The week following my trip I had several days off because of a national holiday, so I had enough time to recover afterwards. In many senses it was a great set and setting.
I had weighted 5.4 mg of DOPr (I work in a lab and have access to very precise analytical scales, so I have a +/-0.2 mg confidence in the dose I took), then dissolved them in a very small amount of a juice and drank it. I hadn’t eaten for the last 5 hours before dosing and my tolerance was at baseline (Since my last trip had been a couple of month ago).
The trip itself:
The come-up took a notably long time. It wasn’t until the first hour that I started feeling an undefined “something”, but it quickly faded into a background feeling, very slowly developing. At the second hour I started getting some hints of color saturation, and a warm, soft, almost sedating sensation started creeping in very gradually. I felt myself slowly entering the psychedelic state.
It took two and a half hours until I felt the first sketches of a headspace. It was as if I suddenly became conscious of how deep thought can go. My mind felt “wider”. Still, I felt mostly sober, and very calm. Sedation began intensifying, things started taking a dissociated, oneiric distance. One hour later, at t+ 3.5, I started getting some faint visuals, mostly waving on surfaces. Up until this point I was feeling extremely comfortable, no bodyload at all, but with the waves came some nausea. I laid down on the couch for a bit. Soon I started feeling very cold and almost feverish. The dissociation increased, for a brief moment I felt almost delirious, like in a fever dream. The intensity of the trip augmented continuously, but very slowly.
I would say the peak started at the fourth hour after ingestion. It suddenly became very visual. Looking at the ceiling, patterns were forming and coming out in 3-D structures. Colors were very saturated, and everything adopted warm orange and yellow hues. I still felt nauseous and uncomfortably cold, but less so, and the uncomfortable body sensations began to disappear shortly after the peak started. The oneiric undertones of the trip intensified, allegorical thinking was enhanced, everything felt full of meaning.
Four and a half hours had passed, I suddenly became very conscious of the tension between the “I”, my memories and projections, and the present. It’s so hard living in the present. We get tangled in a million things, the ego gets in the way, memories and expectations always distort the things we experience. And yet, what’s so special about the now, the< present, the material reality right in front of my eyes? I wrote this question down, and as an answer to myself: “Everything. Nothing. The paradox and the absurd is ever present in our experience of being a human being. I would like to hold it all and take everything with me, yet it seems like there’s nothing to take away from anything at all. There’s nothing to take away. The universe is essentially mute. Speech is exclusively human.”
“The paradox” was a rhetoric figure that appeared repeatedly during the trip. I thought about how the very same thing that makes us alive is what makes us die. About how we recognize things as alive only when we recognize their fragility. A condition for being alive is eventually dying. What differentiates a rock and a flower, other than the fact that flowers need nurture and care, otherwise they wither and die? Does it mean the being is always incomplete? Is being longing? It is always the “nothing”, as an excess and a limit, that gives sense to “everything”. My mind was wandering through this kind of thoughts, and contradiction and the tension between opposites became a big part of my internal monologue.
For the first hour of the peak I was writing down, taking notes, feeling very mentally active. At the same time I felt calm, not stimulated at all. It felt like I was dreaming. And it was a nice dream. I took a look at the timer I had set in my phone to track the time during the trip. The image of the analogue clock simulated by the mobile was mesmerizing to me. The hands of the clock signaling seconds going by hypnotized me. It felt so fast ! Then so slow ! It wasn’t constant at all ! I watched it spiraling out, and the image was pouring out of the phone screen, or slowly dragging me in. I wrote down: “Lost in the infinite tunnel of time: In each second that passes there is more information than I could process in all of eternity”.
I closed my eyes, complex and colorful images invaded my vision. Suddenly I felt wonderfully aware. Everything felt clear and transparent. I looked around, and it was as if I could look through things. “We live playing the fool, voluntarily shutting down our attention”, I said out loud. B. looked at me alarmed: “What do you mean?”.
- “We live in an anesthetized state, in order to function we stop paying attention to a lot of what’s going on, we get trapped in our routines, in our personas, in our unchecked assumptions, and soon we accumulate unattended desires, unattended frustrations, we lose track of what we want and what we need”.
- "But that is necessary to some extent. We can't be conscious of everything all at once, that would fill us with anxiety", said B.
- "Yes, It is a defense mechanism of the ego. But it is easy to rely too much on that confort, and get lost in it"
I was feeling strong psychedelic clarity. That feeling when you look deep into yourself, and no excuses, no fictions get in the way. I started getting a clear idea of what to do about things I had postponed indefinitely, relegating them as secondary, but which I knew were important. Right then, I felt them in my body. Ignored desires slowly become physical needs. I was aching for change, my very own body was demanding things to me that I was not doing. I realized I had been voluntarily choosing to disregard its demands. It felt like a tough burden. But also an invitation to take better care of myself and my dreams and ambitions. “Awareness is clarity but is also pain. The very senses that bring the world to our attention can also make us hurt.”
I meditated about the clarity I was experiencing. It was a strange thing to think about. I was getting “epiphanies” about myself, but at the same time most of what I was thinking about felt obvious. “What is it then, this state?” – I wrote on my small notebook. “Only the adequate attention? What is it right now, that is so clear and patent?”. The idea of attention and awareness became another leitmotif of the trip. At around the sixth hour I suddenly felt very excited by the idea that everything that exists is an invitation for our intellect to analyze and venture into. Thinking about this, I suddenly felt euphoric and agitated. An immense and optimistic faith in the intellectual capacity of the human race started invading me. This made me feel very alive, and from this point on the trip took a very romantic tone. Everything I thought about appeared mysterious and inviting.
I was feeling talkative and very mentally sharp. I had some confusion, typical of the psychedelic state, but my mind felt fast and I felt energetic. My partner studies computer science and right then, was next to me writing a program. I looked at her working on it and could notice she was struggling with something. I asked what was challenging her. She tried to explain it to me, and although I don’t know how to program and understand almost nothing of the technical concepts, somehow, I managed to understand the thinking structure that was leading her to mental knots. We talked about it and in between asking questions I was able to offer a perspective that according to her, actually helped overcome some of the obstacles she was running into. All of this was very interesting to me, I felt very engaged by what she was working in. I also loved watching her thinking, I felt fascinated by her concentrated look, my visuals took the form of lines around her head and eyes and it was almost as if I could “see” her brain working. I was feeling increasingly euphoric and mentally stimulated, although not restless at all.
B. went to bed at about t+10. I laid with her for a while, we cuddled and then made love. It was very intimate and intense, I can’t really say the physical sensation was heightened, but I felt a very strong connection with my partner. Boundaries between our bodies dissolved. It was as if instead of living through my own body, I was experiencing her pleasure. Afterwards, we hugged for a while until B. fell asleep.
I had planned to go on a hike at that point but decided against it because I was still tripping relatively hard and the prospect of taking the public transport seemed unappealing. I had skipped sleep, so it felt like a bad idea. I still decided to go out for a walk through the neighborhood and watch the sun come out outside. At this point visuals had already started to fade away slowly, but the trip had retained that surreal feeling of reverie.
Now, sorry for getting into some literal psychonaut shit. No, really, I’m sorry if this is too much information, but before going out for my walk I went to evacuate my bowels and I was tripping, so some psychedelia permeated the deed. While I sat in the toilet, I felt like I was letting go of a lot of stuff, not in the literal sense, but I got a strong sensation that my body was detoxifying. I thought about how at least a part of what we excrete are dead intestinal cells that shed off when they die and get replaced, so in a sense I felt like I was changing my skin and letting go of my dead previous self. From this point on, the concept of the purge became a central theme of the trip. I felt like I was slowly renewing, in the same sense people feel reborn after an Ayahuasca or San Pedro ceremony. I was changing skin like snakes do.
Going out to the empty streets, watching the sun rise and the day slowly starting to unfold was incredible. I sat in a park next to my place and watched the people passing by. Everyone seemed so determined to go wherever they were heading, and that felt hilarious and absurd to me. I felt content and at peace. I took a very long walk through the park and reflected upon many things. The question I made myself hours before returned to me: “What is this clarity? What is this state?”. I felt like one of the most important things that allow for the deep introspection that psychedelics catalyze is that when I trip, I stop everything I’m doing, which is something I rarely do. What a luxury it felt, to be wondering aimlessly on a Monday morning, reflecting on myself and life in the big city I live in! I realized that having free time nowadays is a complete privilege, the fact that I can take a day off and have no financial worries, or any type of obligation is a complete blessing. I felt extremely grateful for being able to make this for myself, but at the same time a little bit sad that it is such a rare thing in the agitated life I’ve been having for the past couple of years.
For a while I wondered if people passing by would think I looked weird or something. It wasn't an anxious thought, but more like a curiosity. I decided no one would pay attention to me, as many people come and go and no one is exactly a resident of the park I was walking in. I felt sort of protected by this anonymity the big city grants to its inhabitants. I'm no one here, in a way. I looked around and felt like I was a part of the streets I was walking. I was an insignificant part of the city, I was a part of the park. I am nothing. For a moment I got the feeling that I was approaching ego death. I was certain that if I was to lay down and let go, I would completely dissolve into my own mind. But I was functional enough to realize it was not a good idea and it was not the adequate place for that, so I kinda kept walking and the sensation faded.
I encountered some graffiti and street art in my walk, and it looked so colorful and some of it incredibly psychedelic. Protest messages written on the walls felt deep and charged with some sort of simple, street wisdom. For a while I was absorbed in a deep mindtrip thinking about social injustice, politics, economy … I grieved for humanity, and I felt a strong sense of compassion for everyone living with a bigger burden than mine. I felt worried but not hopeless. I looked at my phone and it was t+ 14.00. I wrote down: “Still lost in the infinite tunnel of time”.
After a while I decided I wanted some music. I feel pretty stereotypical for my choice, but I put on my headphones, played the new Tool album and walked around some more. Honestly, even though I had enjoyed the album in previous listens, I had felt a slight disappointment with it. I liked it because I love Tool and I am happy to have new music from them, but it also felt kinda samey. When I listened to in on my DOPr trip, it made me cry. Scandalously. I had to sit down in a bus stop while I cried, it felt so beautiful and I felt so grateful for it. Cars stopped next to me when the traffic light turned red, so I had to cover my face with my hoodie. After a while I managed to control myself and kept walking and listening to the whole thing. I still cried again several times throughout the album and felt like a madman walking around with tears running down my face. But it was powerfully cleansing, complete emotional purging. In the small notebook I was carrying I wrote “This is some 'I cried listening to Tool' type of shit”.
When the album ended, I was already nearing home again. I decided to get in. Visuals had mostly faded, but I was still tripping relatively hard. The weird thing was that after more than 12 hours of tripping, the psychedelic headspace sort of turned into a new baseline. I could tell I was still tripping but I was feeling mentally clear and mostly functional.
I got in and woke B. We chatted for a while until we were both hungry, so we went out to buy lunch. We ate outside in the park, and I was feeling extremely happy. The feeling of purge and rebirth had intensified in the last hours, and I felt renewed and euphoric, but at the same time very calmed and at peace. I honestly felt like I was having one of the best days of my life. The surreal undertones of the trip had not subsided yet. Hanging out with B. made me realize how in love I’m with her. And I couldn’t stop telling her between joyous laughter and hugs. She was one of the reasons why I felt so at ease. I felt very lucky to be loved in the way she loves me. The love I was feeling was compounded by the warm sensation that was bathing my heart since the peak.
At t+18 I felt like I was already starting to come down, but I could tell it would take a long time. We headed back to my apartment and just chilled for the rest of the afternoon. I was still getting that feeling of excitement and intellectual stimulation. We read and talked for hours about physics, politics, ourselves … B. told me she felt like she got a “contact high” from me, and at times felt like she was tripping too, specially during the night, at the beginning of my trip. She said she could tell the trip had been meaningful to me, and in a way, it was so for her too.
Around twenty hours after dropping the DOPr, I was actually still tripping, but at this point I was too tired to interact with whatever the drug was doing to my mind and senses. I couldn’t pay attention to the faint visuals, so I just felt like my vision was kinda blurry and defective. I felt wide awake but started to feel really tired by this point. Still, since I felt almost sober, I decided to walk to the supermarket to buy some stuff before it closed for a couple of days due to the national holidays. Uh oh. When in public I realized I was tripping harder than I thought. I felt very confused and almost dissociated. Luckily I had B. with me to help me out. We managed to quickly get out there and headed home to sleep.
At t+23 I took a shower and it felt blissful. I prepared to go to bed, but I realized my pupils were still slightly dilated. I hung out with B. for a while, and at t+26 I took 0.5 mg of clonazepam and went to bed. I fell asleep maybe half an hour later but woke up feeling pretty active shortly after. Since I had to meet with a friend semi-early the next day, I didn’t want to have another sleepless night, so at t+28 I took another 0.5 mg of clonazepam and then had 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep.
The next day I woke up feeling tired, but all things considered it wasn’t really that bad. After a coffee I felt relatively normal. I met my friend at her house and we went for a short hike. The whole day I had a relaxing afterglow, and even though I was feeling tired I was also feeling refreshed and renewed, in a pretty good mood. This feeling has not faded away at the moment of writing this report, seven days after the trip.
TL;DR:
I had an extremely pleasant and significant experience with DOPr. Besides maybe 30 minutes of nausea during the come-up, I felt no uncomfortable sides effect whatsoever. It was very visual for the first half of the peak, which lasted from the fourth to maybe the twelfth hour after ingestion. At the eighteenth hour I was clearly approaching come down territory, but it faded away even more gradually than it came up. Through all of it, it retained a surreal quality, things felt distant and oneiric. Total duration was close to 30 hours. At t+26 I still had some remnants of a headspace, and my vision wasn’t exactly normal, even though visuals started disappearing at about t+14.
Music didn’t sound “better” in the sense that it didn’t feel sharper and more detailed like it does on some psychedelics, but emotional response to music was surely enhanced. It was very energetic but not restless or jittery at all. The most prominent aspect was the mental stimulation, my mind felt sharp and intellectual activity was very engaging. It was extremely euphoric, not in the empathogenic “this is the best feeling ever” way, but everything felt exciting and inviting. My mood was mostly optimistic and talkative throughout, although feeling very emotionally volatile. It was introspective and almost confronting, but very gently so. It helped me achieve a high level of clarity towards myself and extreme awareness for the things going on in my life. The whole experience was very therapeutic and life affirming. DOPr put me in that state where you just can't deflect your attention from things, which coupled with the ego softening psychedelics produce helped me dig deep into myself and question my own assumptions. When you reach this state, you feel disarmed, and you have to build yourself all over again. Sometimes this can be uncomfortable and confronting, but this time I felt like I mostly affirmed what I'm doing and strengthened some of the things I want. I feel validated after this trip.
I was satisfied with the dose I took, but I could easily see pushing it a little bit further, maybe next time I'll take 7 mg. This one is definitely an ally, and I feel extremely happy to have had experienced it. If anyone has any further questions, I'd be happy to respond
. Also, if someone notices grammar mistakes please feel free to point it out haha, I'm always happy to be corrected and learn.Tagged by Xorkoth
substancecode_dopr
substancecode_amphetamines
substancecode_phenethylamines
explevel_firsttime
exptype_positive
exptype_glowing
exptype_spiritual
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