done how many times

in aint no thang to be upset when something goes down like this. You collect yourself and get the fuck on with your dignity and your poise and your grace and your style ALL intact.

I am going to the dispensary to pick up my medical marijuana. I'll check in here when I get back.
 
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BAO... hey, We have similar interests. PM me again when you get back.
 
Okay this definetely borders on triggering but since i am fucked from lack of sleep and uncapable of making a judgement call i shall allow this much.

Please take the triggering talk to PM ok?

BAO: Take it easy on the ice man that shit is not going to make you feel any bettter or leed to anything good.
 
Glad your still around BAO :)....alot of people worried about you here^!

IF you need to talk about personal stuff, is there anyone here on BL you could trust to PM?

Think alot of people here can relate to how your feeling, I certainly can. A few years ago, I was stuck in a town with no friends I trusted and was demented at the time, it was hell:(

Can anyone help you find a GP in Chicago?<3
no bunch of stuck up assholes here and im getting fed the fuck up i have more than enough pills to have a happy happy ending but I dont want it like that but I'm on my last limb everyones such a piece of shit
 
please don't do it.. you never know what comes your way, last time i felt shitty, i was on the end of a coke binge (that i started because i felt like shit) and by complete chance and no effort of mine met a cute girl at the bus stop and we talked, that alone made my day, then went on some dates.. def. made my week and gave me hope! again this was completely random.. you never know what's gonna come your way.. why not give it a chance?
 
ive tried and tried and im tired of being tired. I just told my fiend i ate 2 bottles of pills and he didnt even call anyone so now.....later...and fuck alll you assholes who dont know what its like to hit rock bottom fuck all of you that think rock bottom is a small coke binge fuck you all
 
ive tried and tried and im tired of being tired. I just told my fiend i ate 2 bottles of pills and he didnt even call anyone so now.....later...and fuck alll you assholes who dont know what its like to hit rock bottom fuck all of you that think rock bottom is a small coke binge fuck you all

I think the majority of the people who visit The Dark Side have experienced a lot worse than just a coke binge, B&O.

I'm not trying to get down on you or anything, you are entitled to feel contempt for other people and all, but there are a lot of good people here at TDS and BL in general.

Why don't you try to focus on making your life more enjoyable/endurable?
 
From your recent posts you seem to have felt the need to test your friendships lately by seeing whether your friends will put you before themselves. You can only do that so often without alienating people and making them feel manipulated. The first few times they might drop what they're doing and go out of their way to respond, but few people will continue to do that indefinitely, especially if it doesn't really seem to change anything.

You seem unwilling to try "last resort" measures like going to the emergency room or contacting crisis lines and that suggests that you want either a specific type of help or help from specific people - sometimes that's just not an option and you have to accept the help which is available.
 
Taking 65-70mgs of daily dex is way too much, that's almost double the daily amount. That's why your feeling like shyt after a month or so. Combined with the methadone, and various benzos it's not surprising your suffering. There's no doubt dopamine deficeincy has/is occurring at that high of a daily dose. Take a break from the amps and reduce the benzos to the lowest amount required to avoid wds. Doing so should have you feeling better in a week provided you eat well and get adequete amounts of sleep.
Sounds like your getting hit by the side effects from the high doses of your med combo.

Instead of a fuck everyone attitude, a better choice would be to consider what you have gained/lost since starting this last medication routine. Afterall, the only one it's effecting is you. Good luck getting your self sorted out.
 
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