dominant emotion while rapid cycling ?

thx izzy.

I am seriously totally lost at this point, I do not know what to do, the only thing I think about is killing myself, i just cant do it to other ppl.

I could go out to friends, but I don't even want to be with people - and yet I've never felt so fucking god awful lonely in my life. Whats the fuckin point man, fuck this shit world.
i hear you man. i get down and frustrated as hell. the world totally overstimulates me and makes me irritable as fuck so i spend a good amount of time alone or w/ one person at a time. crowds, big parties make me agitated and irritable as hell. it can really suck at times.

there's no answer anyone can tell you. your answer is inside you. takes a whole lotta energy to get down w/ ur bad self but i have no doubt you're up for the work.
it can get better, that's one thing i do know and am sure of...
if i found a way, you can too.
hang in
-izzy
 
thx guys , i am chillin at friends place now headin home in few, been hard but staying somewhat social and with people who do understand I have problems that really affect who I am - and still care for me.. I dunno man, thank god for it.

the simpler I look at life the easier it becomes to try to handle. I love a girl, she loves me and I never have felt that before - I love my dog, he is truly man's best friend , and I have a roof over my head and food. I need to keep my life in this perspective and hopefully i will not fascinate about this bullshit killing myself. I hate that I could love people and desire to leave them.... what kind of a fucking person does that ? I really am so bullshit that I am like this. I will stick with my therapy - I need help so fuckin badly :(.
 
what kind of a fucking person does that ?
Someone who needs help...dont beat yourself up, just keep it in perspective, like you said!
Your a Strong Individual, Stronger than the Bullshit!
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i remember the first day i really believed i could deal w/ this swingin' up and down.
it was spring and windy. i was thinking about a kite i had when i was a kid. so i went right then and bought a kite, found a good spot, and let it go. i had such a great afternoon.
rediscovering kid-like play has been such a great addition to my life. i get non-competative exercise, laugh until my stomach hurts, and good tears cover my face.

^Sweet, Love this little story Izzy<3, indulging in the simple things is so fullfilling!:D
 
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^thx, was a great day :)
taow, you're right about maintaining perspective and keeping things simple. simple works.
-izzy
 
Im not Bi-Polar but do experience distinct mood swings but nothing life threatening TG!
Fear to Anger would be the dominant . Im either the Hulk or Woody Allen 8)

My inner state pretty much always resembles a Woody Allen screenplay, especially his earlier films like Annie Hall and Manhattan.

I do have my "I can do anything I put my mind to!" moments just often enough to make me constantly frustrated that I'm not living up to my potential.....

Then it's back to the Woody Allen inner monologue.
 
<snip>

Rapid cycling is having four or more distinct EPISODES in a 12-month period.

Episodes can be MANIA, DEPRESSION, or MIXED.

Manias can be EUPHORIC or DYSPHORIC.

Depression is ATYPICAL (Bipolar II) or MELANCHOLIC (Bipolar I).

Mixed episodes are when symptoms of both MANIA and DEPRESSION are present at the same time. You can swing from having high energy with a low mood and low speed of thought (AGITATED DEPRESSION) to low energy with high mood and high speed of thought (MANIC STUPOR).

<snip>Most people experiencing rapid mood shifts are either in a MIXED EPISODE or undergoing ULTRA-RAPID CYCLING (cycling in days, not weeks). There is hardly ever a "dominant emotion".
 
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Yep. I'm extremely irritable at the moment. Apparently mania manifesting as irritability and agitation instead of euphoria becomes more common once you hit middle age. There's no "upside" to my hypomania at the moment and that's a very different experience for me. It's definitely not an enjoyable ride at the moment and while I toy with the idea of stimulants, I recognise that they'd probably only amplify the already negative.

i'm 16 and i'm already at that point. for me mania just translates to a feeling of wanting to destroy everything and scream
 
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i'm 16 and i'm already at that point. for me mania just translates to a feeling of wanting to destroy everything and scream

are you in any sort of therapy atm ? So far it's made things harder for me personally, but its been because ive had to come clean about some very difficult issues that ive gone thru in the past - all of which have lead to my present. Im sticking with it twice a week this time.
 
Just thought I'd post this to open some peoples minds, that may be stuck in Limited interpretations of how RC may occur; or who it may effect:
How to Understand and Recognise Cyclothymia
Understanding this Form of Bipolar Affective Disorder
Nov 9, 2008 Jen Syrkiewicz


Masks - singhajayCyclothymia is often termed 'Bipolar Light' but this light-hearted term in no way describes the devastation that this mood disorder can cause.

Cyclothymia is a rapid-cycling form of Bipolar Affective Disorder which creates alternating short periods of hypomania and depression, with periods of stability in between. Though this is often regarded as the ‘poor cousin’ of Bipolar I, it should by no means be underestimated as a very serious condition that needs long-term management and support by health care professionals.

Recognising Hypomania
Hypomania is a form of manic behaviour that has a number of warning signs to help recognise it. People with hypomania will exhibit some or all of the following symptoms:

•Rapid speech and restlessness, and a feeling that the rest of the world is moving at a slower pace than the person with Cyclothymia
•A sense of arrogance and self-importance, a heightened ego and a feeling of ambition and self-aggrandisement
•A reduced need for sleep and a large amount of energy
•The possibility of increased sexual appetite, coupled with a lack of judgement which may result in irrational behaviours (increased spending, such as setting up companies or engaging in risky liaisons)
Hypomania may be go unnoticed by the person undergoing the change, as it brings a large amount of confidence and may even be a pleasurable sensation at times. However, those around the person with Cyclothymia may notice the change and feel concerned. The Cyclothymiac may experience racing thoughts or frustration which can make normal interaction difficult. Friends and relatives need to be aware of the signs of hypomania, and also understand how to manage the situation with tact and care.
 
^^ I've spent over 13k in one night being hypo that shit was brutal!

Yeah I feel for you, I wasted 15k in british pounds on gambling when I was hypomanic. And that shit was brutal and is still brutal for my emotions... I just couldnt control myself. First losing 800, then 1600, then 3200 and so on and when I realized I had lost 15k. My head was completely blank for 2 months.
 
I had shit shipped to my house for a fuckin month lol, i fuckin went on an ebay spree it was absurd.
 
Ive blown a hell of alot of cash while manic too. Mostly on stuff that i didnt need but just seemed like a good thing to buy at the time :|
 
I'm not a rapid cycler but mania comes with a history of manifesting in a few possible themes for me. Based on psychiatric literature and personal experience the older one gets the more likely it is that mania will be mostly irritability over being an expansive mood or grandiosity. It could be more mature brains are less able to cope with the firestorm that is mania.

In any event mania is very unpredictable even when one has a sort of established pattern with how mania has manifested for them in the past. Chaos can seem to demonstrate a pattern from time to time but it is important to remember it is chaos that is being dealt with and there is really no predicting how things will go.
 
Enki

Im already starting to get in irritable mood and only in my 20s. Im like that 24/7 though, the smallest thing gets me pissed off its crazy.

I had shit shipped to my house for a fuckin month lol, i fuckin went on an ebay spree it was absurd.

Haha wow. A whole month? That's a long time. Like what did you buy?
 
I had the most absurd shit shipped to my house -- i can't believe the money i spent on things that made perfect sense at the time... i bought ipods , phones , all sorts of shit you imagine.
 
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