Doing acid alone for first time...

[Tortuga]

Ego death? Never heard of it lol, if anything thats where i want to reach i've been reading books and meditating to get rid of the ego and become the 'self' and since then it seems like it worked thats why i am very confident in taking acid because i have a very clear mind and found peace with myself. Decided on not bringing the bb gun, not because i dont want to but because i jammed my bbs in the spring of the mag and now they're stuck Lol. My dealer keeps stalling though so i might not get the tabs until the weekend unfortunately
Im buying 2 tabs but only gonna do 1 dose and save the other tab for another experience. Ima keep yall updated and share the story of my trip once i experience it

 

[psy997]

You sound young. If you're still in high school I would rethink. You don't want to be shattering your entire world view so early, believe me. Also, it's very easy to not have negative thought when you've just opened up to the ideas of mindfulness, presentness, etc. but it's a whole different story while tripping. To me, you sound overly confident and not prepared.

 

[Tortuga]

no, im in college. Shattering my world view? Lol i think your being a little to dramatic now, i see the world as it is, ever since i was young i understood my own being and the affect my nature had on others. I have a very positive mind because im in control of my own mind. I see thoughts as thoughts and nothing else, they come and the go but i dont attach myself to them, i know what i am.

i feel prepared. Im sure while tripping ill understand that my thoughts shape my reality, if i have negative thoughts ill experience something negative, if i have positive thoughts ill experience something positive, nevertheless thoughts are thoughts and i live detached from them so im sure ill be able to see them as they are and not get carried away by them.

 

[tokezu]

Bring some fresh fruit. The majority of people who eat fruit rave about it.

How could i forget? This is very good advice.

Ego death? Never heard of it lol, if anything thats where i want to reach

But you've heard of a somewhat related concept, decided it has to be exactly the same and that you want to experience it? Please be aware things might be very different from what you expect, would it hurt to gather a little more information before you decide on "where you want to reach"?

Decided on not bringing the bb gun, not because i dont want to but because i jammed my bbs in the spring of the mag and now they're stuck Lol.

Well, that's good. But did you think about what i and others in this thread said about carrying weapons negatively impacting your mindset. To me your answer sounds like you have avoided the question (no offense), but i think i'ts a very important one.

Shattering my world view?

That might or might not happen, better be prepared. As i have said above, even things you fully expected to happen can feel pretty damn overwhelming.

I have a very positive mind because im in control of my own mind. I see thoughts as thoughts and nothing else, they come and the go but i dont attach myself to them, i know what i am.

And what makes you so sure you'll be able to do the same while on a psychedelic drug? Maybe you will, but why not try to prepare yourself for a more difficult experience?

nevertheless thoughts are thoughts and i live detached from them

Oh i see, you have already reached enlightenment... so what do you need psychedelics for? Or could it be, that you're exaggerating just a bit here?

Good luck!

 

[SteamboatBillJr]

With larger amounts I think you'll have a better experience in another place.

 

[SteamboatBillJr]

The first thing I remember after that day is crying in the sun. After walking, walking, walking, and walking I had collapsed and a police officer got me some water. There weren't any hand cuffs and I wasn't in prison. I guess the cop had been following me for a long time. He drove me into the Salvation Army and serendipitously a bunch of people drove in and dropped off a truck full of clothes and toys simultaneously. The Salvation Army was dead set on covering the full cost of my trip home. They bought my bus ticket and I was on my way in the afternoon.

Earlier the other day I was walking around homeless and a bunch of Dead Heads picked me up and drove me to a Darkstar show. I didn't have a ticket. They said all I had to do was walk in. The person who was at the gate had a stack of other peoples voucher stubs (kind of the perforated pieces of paper you tear of at the end) and missed me. I don't remember so much of the show that day. I remember after the show a go go dancer picked me up, handed me an Adderall and some water, and said "We're going to be dancing". We got in all the bars free. After the Adderall wore off I realized, unfortunately, my ride had left.

I was left alone in a dangerous city with nobody on the street I knew. Things lightened up in the morning and my memory is sparse during that period. Presumably I got the idea in my head I could walk dozens of miles home. I walked, walked, waked, and walked some more. Eventually my feet got sore and I collapsed.

I am really grateful because those peoples egos decided they would help me find out how I could arrive home that day.

Perhaps rather than ego death, you want to have a rebirth experience.

 

[Tortuga]

Tokezu~
the ego death statement was meant for someone to explain to me what that wss. Like you or someone suggested im going in with no expectations what so ever. regardless of whether or not i have a good experience ima accept my reality for what it is.

Im not bring the bb or any other weapon i did consider everyone's opinions.

Shattering ny world view? What world view do i have to begin with. I dont see the world any different than what it is. I dont really know what you mean by that.

Im going to meditate before i take the tab so i can have a clear mind. Im bringing things with me to pass the time. people i can call in case of an emergency. Other than that what preparations should i take?

I want to take psychadelics so i can have a better understanding of what i know, see things from a different perspective, new insight, things like that, im not tryna come off any type of way.

 

[One Thousand Words]

Sounds awfully restrictive. How about drop some acid and just enjoy the ride.

Do it a few more times so you know what to expect before you start going all Bodie zen about it.

Jesus, how come some people want to suck the fun out of taking drugs?

 

[tokezu]

the ego death statement was meant for someone to explain to me what that wss.

As far as i understand, it means thinking you have just died while tripping. Obviously it takes a high dose to achieve that and should be avoided for you first trip.

Im not bring the bb or any other weapon i did consider everyone's opinions.

It sounded to me like you made that decision for technical reasons (gun doesn't work). The point i was trying to make is about how something like the necessity to carry a gun will affect your mindset and your mindset will affect how your trip will go. This is in itself important advice, i think, but ideally it should make you ask yourself in what other ways your mindset will be affected and how that will affect your trip.

Shattering ny world view? What world view do i have to begin with.

I'm not sure if you're trying to say you 'don't have a world view' nor how to respond to that, sorry.

I dont see the world any different than what it is.

Really? How can you tell? :D

Im going to meditate before i take the tab so i can have a clear mind. Im bringing things with me to pass the time. people i can call in case of an emergency. Other than that what preparations should i take?

I think the really important stuff has been covered in this thread.

I want to take psychadelics so i can have a better understanding of what i know, see things from a different perspective, new insight, things like that, im not tryna come off any type of way.

Well i guess seeing things from a different perspective is pretty much guaranteed. But as an aftereffect i think confusion is much more likely than a immediate better understanding of anything. (I need an awful lot of time to make sense of my trips, but maybe i'm not the norm.)

I hope i could help a little.

 

[Tortuga]

Steamboatbilljr~

lol wild story, i think i'll pass on the ego death for now

 

[Tortuga]

Tokezu~

Lol thats crazy. You'd prolly be messed uo for a couple days.

Yea i guess so, i was contemplating bringing it after seeing the responses but it broke on me the other day so i have no choice but to not bring it...

I guess your right i dont have a world view.

I see the world as it appears to me based on what i know and how i percieve it, yea i dont see the world for what it is but rather what i make it, and whatever i make it is what the world is for my reality.

 

[tokezu]

Yea i guess so, i was contemplating bringing it after seeing the responses but it broke on me the other day so i have no choice but to not bring it...

And again it seems as if you overlooked the important part. Did you think about why it would be unwise to carry a gun while on lsd, even if it wasn't broken, even if you were able to shoot straight? This is not simply about the bb gun, but it serves as an example to show the influence your mindset will have on your trip.

I guess your right i dont have a world view.

Did i say that? I think i was implying the opposite.

I see the world as it appears to me based on what i know and how i percieve it, yea i dont see the world for what it is but rather what i make it, and whatever i make it is what the world is for my reality.

So a few words on a screen from some stranger made you go from "i see the world as it is" to "how i see the world is just a subjective interpretation"? Be aware that lsd is a LOT better than me at making you question things you were sure about before.

 

[One Thousand Words]

One time I questioned the fact I used to suck my brothers mothers breasts.

 

[Kl519]

Damn, what happened to this thread?

Indeed, the strength of your mind will be tested, and unless you are comfortable with reality crashing down and then suddenly reforming, no words can help you define what the experience is going to be like.

I don't recommend lsd to beginners and I definitely would not have started with it if I knew what I know now.

OP, welcome to BlueLight. You do seem young, and you have plenty of time to experience psychedelics or anything else in life. Always be patient and don't rush into anything, especially a trip as big as this one. No dangerous circumstances, weapons, or activities whatsoever, safety should be #1 in your list.

Mental strength comes at a price. You must be able to withstand suffering of all kinds, and they are usually of the kind that is nonstop and strong in nature. It's almost nothing to be proud of, because in a way it just shows how much shit you've gone through to get to that point. I don't believe any of us are really proud of that, and this is our way of showing that positivity rules in the end. I'm sure many, by default, can attest to this. No matter how hopeless things get, hope is there until the very last breath.

You seemed to show a positive side, and then it disappeared. Try your best not to let any positivity go away so easily, it will literally save you on trips and just generally in your life. People on here may be harsh, but you have to show respect by directly answering their questions, or else they'll think you're trolling. No one really messes around here, esp. because we know people out there read some of this stuff to plan out trips. Safety and mental well-being are factors that rule us all.

My experience is only one and should always be taken with a grain of salt. I never asked anyone to believe anything I've said, and I don't care whether they do or not. But what's important is that you're honest to yourself and whatever morals you may have, so for me I just lay it all out there and live with the results.

I called out my ex gf/friends and I'm sure they hate me for it, but I have the decency to keep them unnamed, anonymous and even wish them well. Considering what they've done to me, that even amazes myself. I felt like I was the only one who kept things in perspective while the rest went on a drama king/queen semi-life episode.

Anyway, lsd has a tendency to force out things that you normally would not want, so being at peace with yourself means you accept everything as it is and everything that you perceive yourself to be. You must be content with it all.

Anyway, good luck tripping and do not drive on anything, but ESPECIALLY psychedelics. Go some place where you feel safe and won't be judged. The last one is crucial.

 

[Vurtual]

...I guess your right i dont have a world view.

I see the world as it appears to me based on what i know and how i percieve it, yea i dont see the world for what it is but rather what i make it, and whatever i make it is what the world is for my reality.

I'd say that the surer you are that you see the world as it is right now, the more likely you are to have this certainty ripped away from you on a strong enough acid trip. That's sort of what it does.

 

[Tortuga]

Tokezu~

alright.

 

[Tortuga]

Kl519~

Yo man i really understand what your saying and thanks for the advice.
i dont really have much of a choice but to drive unfortuantly, i dont want to take the trip in my house because i realized i'd rather not deal with any of my family members. Theres no comfortable setting i can think of within walking distance from my house so thats about the only option. Ima leave to the woods pretty early so it wont be too dark when im coming down of the trip and driving back home. Is it still unsafe to drive even after you feel you came down off the trip ?

 

[Kl519]

Hmm, well you'd need to pick out a better setting than that. You should be prepared for at least 12 hours of tripping if it's your first time, sometimes longer. It is imperative that you do not drive while this is happening, you should at least have a sober sitter/DD with you. It's dangerous for everyone, not to mention if a cop pulls you over and tests your sobriety, you will be in jail. Without even experience, which is not enough, it is way too risky...especially alone because lsd can lead to panic in a matter of seconds, which will then feel like hours, etc.

And (possibly) 14 hours of tripping is a long time, plus the time dilation will make the experience feel much longer than that. You need to be somewhere comfortable, safe and around others who will watch out for you. Just as important, your mind will be tested and you'd need some type of grounding to reality, a first trip (few trips) on a psychedelic can possibly ruin everything good in your mind, or help you figure things about yourself which will be very difficult to accept.

Of all psychedelics, lsd is the best at that ime. This is where people eventually stick to it, change, and become better by honestly doing the things we all dreaded doing, because acid would make us see how foolish it is otherwise. Like it was said earlier, this one of lsd's defining characteristics, especially without any prior psychedelic experience. Even shrooms, which is very strong too, would be better suited for a first experience because of lsd's notorious penchant to incite difficult trips. Although shrooms are good at that too, the duration is shorter at least.

I am not saying you can't get what you want out of it. This road has to be walked down very carefully, especially within your mind. It can help you, or become the worst thing that's happened to you (check out trip reports here on BL, or Erowid for more info). Make sure you read both the good and bad sides to get an idea of the possibilities. I've had both happen and seen both happen too, and it'll be shocking as hell. Better be prepared for it. =/

All the best and stay safe.

 

[Tortuga]

so i finnally took the acid and it was a pretty cool experience. It really wasnt as deep as i thought it was gonna be because it seemed like i couldn't really fully grasp my own thoughts in their entirety. i was thinking on so many different levels within so many different realities that i didnt know which was really real and the fact that i had nothing to ground me to a specific reality due to me being alone in my basement was really confusing. I eventually decided to just give up on trying to grasp anything and began to watch videos and listen to music while drawing. overall it was an amaxing trip. I felt intense joy and everything felt right even through the confusing parts. The visuals i was seeing were extremely beautiful and profound i would close my eyes and it was like i could feel the different colors in my hands and change the colors with hand motion. It was really fun but i wouldnt do it again by myself lol or atleast not by myself in my basement with no where to go...

Anyone have similar experiences to mine? Thoughts?

 

[Kl519]

What was your dose? And was this your first time?

That's good that you had a positive experience. The joy you felt was probably the euphoria that lsd is supposed to give you, and on your first time it can be difficult to grasp any meaning because it's so new to you. Higher doses should do the trick, but be aware that it can bring out the good, bad or both. However, there is a way to steer these trips back to safety, and for me the best way to do that is to remind myself it is the lsd causing all of those sensations. That usually tones down anything bad that is going on.

So higher doses=a deeper experience, both within your mind and the environment. Just increase it little by little with spaces between trips by at least a week to fully lose tolerance.

Hopefully this proves how safe it is to take. Lsd should not have any negative, physical ramifications whatsoever. Or else thousands of us wouldn't be saying so (or knowing so).