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Does a 26 year old ask someone to be there girlfriend?

MazDan

MazDan

Bluelight Crew
Joined
Feb 26, 2003
Messages
16,745
Location
Sydney Australia
Personally I have always just allowed things to develop organically and it never seemed to be a question that needed to be asked. It might have been a question I asked when I was at primary school. (In Aus aged 5-11 or thereabouts).

However I am probably one of the oldest cunts that still reads BL so maybe Im way out of touch.

Im actually asking for a young mate of mine. He has spoken regularly over the past few months with said female and finally met face to face last weekend at a club.

He was telling me all about it and the great chemistry between them and blah blah blah and then said he was about to ask her to be his girlfriend but stopped short because he was afraid of the answer.

But my reaction was................why are you even thinking of asking such a question, if its meant to be then it will just happen. Doesnt need to be a contract.

Help me and my mate out please BL.......... what are your thoughts?

Do you ask someone to be your girlfriend or does it all just happen organically?
 
Nah, don't ask. It will come naturally. Eventually the conversation of "what-are-we-doing-here" will arise or some other thing will have the one ask the other what they "want".

I'd say just keep it going. Tell him to enjoy it.

I've never asked. I was only interested in soccer and being a rascal until I got into high school (13 years old).
Didn't ask there either; it either continued or it didn't.

My last steady gf was when I was 24, and that sort just slid into what became a relationship.
Like, "So, I'm moving. Wanna share a flat with me?"

I might not be the best at giving this kind of advice. My pickup strategy is don't - bitches (I say that with an endearing ring to it) can pick me up.
Basically, I can't flirt for shit. I can talk and shit, but I have no moves except "the Kobe".
 
yeah we not in high school anymore, i think if it has gone past 3-4 dates then the question can be brought up if this is gonna be something serious where you two only actually see each other and no other people or if things are still open and no rules apply but personally think that should only be raised as a topic of convo when the two parties has dated each other long enough to know if they want to take it further.

That or you could right her a sweet message on paper asking her to be your GF lol like in high school and still fold the letter all fancy like back in the day.
 
MazDan said:
Personally I have always just allowed things to develop organically and it never seemed to be a question that needed to be asked. It might have been a question I asked when I was at primary school. (In Aus aged 5-11 or thereabouts).

However I am probably one of the oldest cunts that still reads BL so maybe Im way out of touch.

Im actually asking for a young mate of mine. He has spoken regularly over the past few months with said female and finally met face to face last weekend at a club.

He was telling me all about it and the great chemistry between them and blah blah blah and then said he was about to ask her to be his girlfriend but stopped short because he was afraid of the answer.

But my reaction was................why are you even thinking of asking such a question, if its meant to be then it will just happen. Doesnt need to be a contract.

Help me and my mate out please BL.......... what are your thoughts?

Do you ask someone to be your girlfriend or does it all just happen organically?
Click to expand...

If I had my life over again, I would not want to be afraid of saying what I thought. Tell him to go for it - a lifetime of regret is infinitely worse than a fleeting rejection...
 
Yeah no one asks. However, speaking as a female, I’d be touched if a guy actually asked me that. Not after one date though... While it’s nice when everything just falls into place and two people just naturally stop seeing other people and only see each other, it’s also nice to get that official confirmation of “you are mine” if you know what I mean. It does still sound naive though. But I’d think it was adorable. 🥰
 
I was 32 we had been in the same company and had become friends, one night I called her and asked her if I could come over, I did and I said "Will you be my girlfriend, I think this might go somewhere and if you say yes we don't have to fuck tonight." I am 64 and still with her and still fucking LOL
 
Thanks to everyone for the input.

For me I guess it never even occurred to me to ask someone to be my girlfriend as it always seemed sort of obvious due to the sheer amount of time we would spend together either on the phone or going out together. Sort of one date led to another, to another and then the meet the rents part and so on.

The concept of asking the question somehow creating an exclusivity contract was something I never considered. In fact after thinking about it, I probably just assumed exclusivity was a given and if she didnt see it that way then I prtefer to know early than to make an emotional investment. Whether asking the question and getting a positive reaction would actually stop someone from seeing other people........I dunno, I guess individual personality would play a role there.

Another thing your posts have reminded me is that we are all different, different personalities, different life experiences, different outlooks and those differences will help determine what you feel most comfortable with. Also the comment from Sirena also helped remind me that it can also be viewed as special by the person being asked.

I think the best advice I can give my mate is to just do what you feel comfortable with. Be yourself. If she doesnt like it then better to find out right from the get go.
 
MazDan said:
Personally I have always just allowed things to develop organically and it never seemed to be a question that needed to be asked. It might have been a question I asked when I was at primary school. (In Aus aged 5-11 or thereabouts).

However I am probably one of the oldest cunts that still reads BL so maybe Im way out of touch.

Im actually asking for a young mate of mine. He has spoken regularly over the past few months with said female and finally met face to face last weekend at a club.

He was telling me all about it and the great chemistry between them and blah blah blah and then said he was about to ask her to be his girlfriend but stopped short because he was afraid of the answer.

But my reaction was................why are you even thinking of asking such a question, if its meant to be then it will just happen. Doesnt need to be a contract.

Help me and my mate out please BL.......... what are your thoughts?

Do you ask someone to be your girlfriend or does it all just happen organically?
Click to expand...
Yea i don't know a great answer to this because i've never experienced having to do this but my approach would be not to ask "would you be my girlfriend". That's to straight out. I would ask an opened ended, feel things out, kind of question like "What do you feel about us exclusively dating each other, i'm thinking I want to do that?"
 
I did with my wife and 31 years later we are still together. I even through in if you say yes we don't have to sleep together right away. Go for it. At best she says yes at worst just thinks you are cute.
 
wallywogs said:
I did with my wife and 31 years later we are still together. I even through in if you say yes we don't have to sleep together right away. Go for it. At best she says yes at worst just thinks you are cute.
Click to expand...
You asked her to marry you before you even had sex?
 
MazDan said:
Personally I have always just allowed things to develop organically and it never seemed to be a question that needed to be asked. It might have been a question I asked when I was at primary school. (In Aus aged 5-11 or thereabouts).

However I am probably one of the oldest cunts that still reads BL so maybe Im way out of touch.

Im actually asking for a young mate of mine. He has spoken regularly over the past few months with said female and finally met face to face last weekend at a club.

He was telling me all about it and the great chemistry between them and blah blah blah and then said he was about to ask her to be his girlfriend but stopped short because he was afraid of the answer.

But my reaction was................why are you even thinking of asking such a question, if its meant to be then it will just happen. Doesnt need to be a contract.

Help me and my mate out please BL.......... what are your thoughts?

Do you ask someone to be your girlfriend or does it all just happen organically?
Click to expand...
Are you kidding me. The average age here is truly early 30s on average. The people running the show are between that and squarely i their 40s. @Cheshire_Kat is in his EIGHTIES. That’s your media, admin, and programming end on various levels that’s even stilll fits the people I’m not alluding to. Anyway.

yes you can ask some to date in your 20s. Yes!
 
I think asking such a question really sounds like an example of direct, mature communication and i think our culture is wrong to associate it with childhood.

That being said, it's not normal and not necessarily a good practical mating strategy to be so frank and innocent about it. However, the quirkiness of that can be used to ones advantage too as always.
 
I don't believe I've ever said it.

However I have had a couple of women ask me, "so......am i your girlfriend?"
 
I wouldn’t ask that, but that’s just me and I tent to be a very go with the flow kinda person, in fact Iv had girls get mad at me cause, and I quote “ it dosent seem like you give a shit if we’re hang out or not” and the truth is, I really don’t, I’m kinda al bundyish
 
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