Xorkoth
Bluelight Crew
DISCLAIMER: This report consists entirely of my unedited trip notes, which consist of my thought process during the trip. This trip was undertaken one week after my last (http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/showthread.php?t=265090). This experience was much less remarkable than the previous, but I think it's still worth posting. Enjoy!
12:00 midnight Friday night/Saturday morning - I decide to revisit the Doctor (actually, I decided days ago), this time at 4.2mg, my highest dose yet. I swished it around in my mouth for a few minutes and then swallowed. Taste was quite manageable. At about 9:00, I had a light dinner and dessert, and have just been hanging out since then.
However, some strange things have already happened tonight. I ingested a large-ish dose of kratom at about 11:00, and as I laid in bed about 15 minutes ago, I had some strange and somewhat frightening things happen. I was half in and half out of sleep, and I kept thinking I was downstairs measuring out my DOC, or going to the bathroom, or talking to my girlfriend. I had several very, very vivid experiences. Many of them were multi-layered, as in, I would be 2 or 3 layers deep into lucid dreams, and I would wake up from each one thinking I was back to reality, but I would still be inside another dream. In one, I felt myself peeing, thinking I was in the bathroom. Then I noticed I was in my bed, and when I tried to move, my body was totally asleep. I couldn't move anything, literally, and it was very hard to breathe. I struggled mightily but was unable to even slightly lift my arm. I think this was sleep paralysis and it was quite disturbing. Then I flashed into another dream sequence, and when I was back, I was again able to move. Fortunately, my bed was not wet! This whole process was very disorienting, to say the least, and it took some time before I was able to be sure that I wasn't going to wake up into something else. I'm still unclear as to what actually happened and what I was dreaming, but I'm pretty sure I was actually in my bed the whole time.
In any case, if that was a preview of the craziness to come tonight, then I'm in for one hell of an experience!
12:16 - I've decided to carefully monitor the comeing-up signs this time. Just now I noticed a definitely rise in body temperature, but pleasant, like a warm blanket. I've decided to browse bluelight for a little while. Man, my Internet is being ridiculously slow!
12:28 - I have a pleasant tingling in my stomache and extremities, especially my arms. It's that phenethylamine buzz, but of a quality I generally only experience with MDMA. I usually hate coming up on psychedelics; with DOC, it's great!
12:40 - The buzz is growing in pleasure and intensity. Also, it's getting my bowls moving as amphetamine does. Beginning to feel witty. Slight trails beginning.
12:52 - Slightest bit of nausea, which is a first for this compound. I'll go lay down for a bit, after using the bathroom to empty my bowels.
1:16 - I gave in to the nausea since there's no use fighting that sort of thing. I had a productive puke and I'm feeling better now. I went ahead and vaporized two hits of high-quality cannabis right now, too. Directly after I threw up, my little sister called out of the blue. She was drunk and partying with her best friend. This is hilarious to me because when she was younger she disapproved certain activities of mine such as drinking and smoking, and was very straight-edged. It's refreshing to see her open up and let loose! I didn't tell her about tonight's activities, though... one thing at a time, eh?
The visuals are starting to really begin now. As I laid in bed with nausea earlier, I noticed the closed-eye patterns beginning to emerge. They seem to consist of a very detailed and expansive field of liquid fractal designs emerging from the darkness behind the eyelids. With my eyes open, everything is shimmering with intensity and beginning to morph around in the way these things make everything do.
1:55 - It seems to be developing more slowly than it has the past few times I've used it. Also, the nausea struck me again just now.
2:17 - I am puzzled by both the recurring nausea and the slow come-on, especially of profound visual effects. I begin to wonder if throwing up around T+1:00 made me lose some of the chemical. Obviously redosing is not an option with this one though, and I have a feeling that isn't the case anyway, since usually at T+1:00 I'm feeling the beginnings of full effects. Well, our bodies are complex things. Who knows what's going on behind the scenes to create this trip. I imagine it's probably mostly due to having tripped on DOC 7 days earlier.
2:35 - http://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=54707. That's really great, man!
Ever since my trip last weekend I've been feeling intensely emotional. All great music has been affecting me more than usual, sending me into shivers or tears. It feels so refreshing to have so much emotion bubbling out from me.
3:06 - Going to lay down and listen to classical music.
3:45 - I've decided to dose an additional 1mg of DOC. Hopefully this proves to be a good idea. Seems like either I lost some in the initial purge or this 4.2mg, for whatever reason, is not quite impacting me like I had expected it to. I also realize that could be the problem right there. Expectations. It's just that this time has been so different from my other experiences, in some large ways. For example, the nausea, which I still feel a slight twinge of. Visuals are also a world apart from my last experience. They're the same, I can tell, but just several orders of magnitude less intense.
4:42 - This experience report is so intense. I've definitely never paid this much attention to the detail in it, but that's a really incredible experience! What really strikes me is the focus on detail and the really insightful comments made regarding the author's altered but seemingly sober perceptions:
http://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=29755
I would like to try DOB some day, for sure.
"I feel a whole new sense of attachment to learning through ancedotes and stories. Stories of odd expierences can teach one a lot." - absolutely.
5:19 - I just decided to sit and vaporize a decent quantity of marijuana. Which I think was a good decision. I sat there pondering a few things. First, I realized that my visuals are picking up. The table that I was sitting at grinding up the nugget was growing endlessly, constantly growing and shrinking, ebbing and flowing. But with this, I realize that it's nothing new. I've been here so many times before. What is there to still even continue to gain from it? I realized with a start that the "enlightenment" which I been seeking after my whole life was already found. I'm there!
Then why do I continue to trip? Well, I do find it very enjoyable. Now that I seem much more accostomed to psychedelic come-ups, I'm generally much more able to enjoy a trip at face value. It seems as if many of their negative physical side effects have gone away, for some unknown reason. I detect no harm in my sober life. My job and relationship are going really, really well, and I'm a damn happy person. So, damn! I guess I might as well, huh?
Eh, food for thought. I'm going to go lie down with some music now. The classical I was listening to just ended, and on that note, the selection has become "In Search of a Meaningful Moment". How fitting once again.
6:15 - Still listening but I've decided to get up for a while. There is a certain amount of muscle tension present this time that made it difficult to drift off into music fully. I did experience some very inspiring musical landscapes involving the concept of the infinity contained within everything.
I begin to feel revitalized with the dawn. So does my kitten, and Shulman. I've decided to brew some kratom. I recall from my journeying the sense that at the most basic level, all of sensory perception is one undifferentiated mass. Assigning meaning and placement to it all is such a monumental task. There's even mapping to physical locations involved. And it's interesting how our physical forms define who we are so much, or really that we're even that aware of them. It seems as if that raw sensory perception could have been mapped in some other way to have not required a physical form. But I'm not sure if that's logical to assume.
6:44 - This report (or experience which it represents rather) (http://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=3259) is what psychedelics are all about. How could someone hate or fear a thing which has the power to awaken the mind on such a level? How did we even get ourselves to such a place in history where that's the case?
This report (the one referenced above) is undoubtedly one of the best there is, anywhere. This report is amazing! You should most definitely read it, although if you're reading this, you have a pretty good chance of having read the one I'm reading as well. It's been around for years.
7:13 - Burning Man sounds like a place I would like to be. I'm unsure as to whether it has succumbed to consumerism yet, though.
This experience is also really interesting: http://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=47372. I'm not sure what to make of it but some interesting implications arise.
6:32 - One conclusion I've reached tonight is that I really do need to acquire a good dose of DOB. That chemical sounds like the exact one I've always wanted, mentally.
8:56 - I can't believe I created a self-sustaining world in Java code which one can log into and become a character in a complex system of hundreds of thousands of lines of code... and yet I can hardly remember how it all fits together, since I haven't worked on it in a good two years. I really, really, really need to get back into that, and also piano. A few years back, I would have NEVER imagined Id've fallen so out of practice there. Life just has a way of passing by, and sometimes you only have time for the necessities. But these things are also necessities. Enough is enough, come on now...
The rest of this experience was spent in that wonderful post-DOC afterglow. It was a wonderful Saturday, full of motivation, happiness, humor, companionship, and contentment. I think I'll give DOC a little break.
substancecode_DOC
12:00 midnight Friday night/Saturday morning - I decide to revisit the Doctor (actually, I decided days ago), this time at 4.2mg, my highest dose yet. I swished it around in my mouth for a few minutes and then swallowed. Taste was quite manageable. At about 9:00, I had a light dinner and dessert, and have just been hanging out since then.
However, some strange things have already happened tonight. I ingested a large-ish dose of kratom at about 11:00, and as I laid in bed about 15 minutes ago, I had some strange and somewhat frightening things happen. I was half in and half out of sleep, and I kept thinking I was downstairs measuring out my DOC, or going to the bathroom, or talking to my girlfriend. I had several very, very vivid experiences. Many of them were multi-layered, as in, I would be 2 or 3 layers deep into lucid dreams, and I would wake up from each one thinking I was back to reality, but I would still be inside another dream. In one, I felt myself peeing, thinking I was in the bathroom. Then I noticed I was in my bed, and when I tried to move, my body was totally asleep. I couldn't move anything, literally, and it was very hard to breathe. I struggled mightily but was unable to even slightly lift my arm. I think this was sleep paralysis and it was quite disturbing. Then I flashed into another dream sequence, and when I was back, I was again able to move. Fortunately, my bed was not wet! This whole process was very disorienting, to say the least, and it took some time before I was able to be sure that I wasn't going to wake up into something else. I'm still unclear as to what actually happened and what I was dreaming, but I'm pretty sure I was actually in my bed the whole time.
In any case, if that was a preview of the craziness to come tonight, then I'm in for one hell of an experience!
12:16 - I've decided to carefully monitor the comeing-up signs this time. Just now I noticed a definitely rise in body temperature, but pleasant, like a warm blanket. I've decided to browse bluelight for a little while. Man, my Internet is being ridiculously slow!
12:28 - I have a pleasant tingling in my stomache and extremities, especially my arms. It's that phenethylamine buzz, but of a quality I generally only experience with MDMA. I usually hate coming up on psychedelics; with DOC, it's great!
12:40 - The buzz is growing in pleasure and intensity. Also, it's getting my bowls moving as amphetamine does. Beginning to feel witty. Slight trails beginning.
12:52 - Slightest bit of nausea, which is a first for this compound. I'll go lay down for a bit, after using the bathroom to empty my bowels.
1:16 - I gave in to the nausea since there's no use fighting that sort of thing. I had a productive puke and I'm feeling better now. I went ahead and vaporized two hits of high-quality cannabis right now, too. Directly after I threw up, my little sister called out of the blue. She was drunk and partying with her best friend. This is hilarious to me because when she was younger she disapproved certain activities of mine such as drinking and smoking, and was very straight-edged. It's refreshing to see her open up and let loose! I didn't tell her about tonight's activities, though... one thing at a time, eh?
The visuals are starting to really begin now. As I laid in bed with nausea earlier, I noticed the closed-eye patterns beginning to emerge. They seem to consist of a very detailed and expansive field of liquid fractal designs emerging from the darkness behind the eyelids. With my eyes open, everything is shimmering with intensity and beginning to morph around in the way these things make everything do.
1:55 - It seems to be developing more slowly than it has the past few times I've used it. Also, the nausea struck me again just now.
2:17 - I am puzzled by both the recurring nausea and the slow come-on, especially of profound visual effects. I begin to wonder if throwing up around T+1:00 made me lose some of the chemical. Obviously redosing is not an option with this one though, and I have a feeling that isn't the case anyway, since usually at T+1:00 I'm feeling the beginnings of full effects. Well, our bodies are complex things. Who knows what's going on behind the scenes to create this trip. I imagine it's probably mostly due to having tripped on DOC 7 days earlier.
2:35 - http://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=54707. That's really great, man!
Ever since my trip last weekend I've been feeling intensely emotional. All great music has been affecting me more than usual, sending me into shivers or tears. It feels so refreshing to have so much emotion bubbling out from me.
3:06 - Going to lay down and listen to classical music.
3:45 - I've decided to dose an additional 1mg of DOC. Hopefully this proves to be a good idea. Seems like either I lost some in the initial purge or this 4.2mg, for whatever reason, is not quite impacting me like I had expected it to. I also realize that could be the problem right there. Expectations. It's just that this time has been so different from my other experiences, in some large ways. For example, the nausea, which I still feel a slight twinge of. Visuals are also a world apart from my last experience. They're the same, I can tell, but just several orders of magnitude less intense.
4:42 - This experience report is so intense. I've definitely never paid this much attention to the detail in it, but that's a really incredible experience! What really strikes me is the focus on detail and the really insightful comments made regarding the author's altered but seemingly sober perceptions:
http://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=29755
I would like to try DOB some day, for sure.
"I feel a whole new sense of attachment to learning through ancedotes and stories. Stories of odd expierences can teach one a lot." - absolutely.
5:19 - I just decided to sit and vaporize a decent quantity of marijuana. Which I think was a good decision. I sat there pondering a few things. First, I realized that my visuals are picking up. The table that I was sitting at grinding up the nugget was growing endlessly, constantly growing and shrinking, ebbing and flowing. But with this, I realize that it's nothing new. I've been here so many times before. What is there to still even continue to gain from it? I realized with a start that the "enlightenment" which I been seeking after my whole life was already found. I'm there!
Then why do I continue to trip? Well, I do find it very enjoyable. Now that I seem much more accostomed to psychedelic come-ups, I'm generally much more able to enjoy a trip at face value. It seems as if many of their negative physical side effects have gone away, for some unknown reason. I detect no harm in my sober life. My job and relationship are going really, really well, and I'm a damn happy person. So, damn! I guess I might as well, huh?
Eh, food for thought. I'm going to go lie down with some music now. The classical I was listening to just ended, and on that note, the selection has become "In Search of a Meaningful Moment". How fitting once again.
6:15 - Still listening but I've decided to get up for a while. There is a certain amount of muscle tension present this time that made it difficult to drift off into music fully. I did experience some very inspiring musical landscapes involving the concept of the infinity contained within everything.
I begin to feel revitalized with the dawn. So does my kitten, and Shulman. I've decided to brew some kratom. I recall from my journeying the sense that at the most basic level, all of sensory perception is one undifferentiated mass. Assigning meaning and placement to it all is such a monumental task. There's even mapping to physical locations involved. And it's interesting how our physical forms define who we are so much, or really that we're even that aware of them. It seems as if that raw sensory perception could have been mapped in some other way to have not required a physical form. But I'm not sure if that's logical to assume.
6:44 - This report (or experience which it represents rather) (http://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=3259) is what psychedelics are all about. How could someone hate or fear a thing which has the power to awaken the mind on such a level? How did we even get ourselves to such a place in history where that's the case?
This report (the one referenced above) is undoubtedly one of the best there is, anywhere. This report is amazing! You should most definitely read it, although if you're reading this, you have a pretty good chance of having read the one I'm reading as well. It's been around for years.
7:13 - Burning Man sounds like a place I would like to be. I'm unsure as to whether it has succumbed to consumerism yet, though.
This experience is also really interesting: http://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=47372. I'm not sure what to make of it but some interesting implications arise.
6:32 - One conclusion I've reached tonight is that I really do need to acquire a good dose of DOB. That chemical sounds like the exact one I've always wanted, mentally.
8:56 - I can't believe I created a self-sustaining world in Java code which one can log into and become a character in a complex system of hundreds of thousands of lines of code... and yet I can hardly remember how it all fits together, since I haven't worked on it in a good two years. I really, really, really need to get back into that, and also piano. A few years back, I would have NEVER imagined Id've fallen so out of practice there. Life just has a way of passing by, and sometimes you only have time for the necessities. But these things are also necessities. Enough is enough, come on now...
The rest of this experience was spent in that wonderful post-DOC afterglow. It was a wonderful Saturday, full of motivation, happiness, humor, companionship, and contentment. I think I'll give DOC a little break.
substancecode_DOC
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