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Do you think about death?

iTry91 said:
From an early age I have thought about or obsessed at times. I wrote things down on paper and drew death in my doodles lol I was always curious about death and how/why we exist. I remember my mum finding one of the things I used to write in my booklet and she seemed kinda worried and asked me why I was writing stuff like that lol. Yep I think about people passing a lot, have been suicidal a lot and try not to think about it now as much as possible but it's always there. I would rather die than end up with severe brain damage.
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Do you have a clue why you had these thought's at early age.

Quite significant as I am basing some of my thought's on these matter's from childhood memory. Mainly my fever induced enlightening experience's.
 
I think about death often.. unfortunately I realized my mortality at an early age losing both of my parents.. now that I’m growing older myself and dealing with health problems of my own it’s a daily issue I wonder about.. will I miss being alive? Is there any afterlife? Or is it just like a long dreamless sleep? I suppose I will only know when it happens and just in case I’m holding on as long as I can lol.. but I’m not holding my breath for anything..
 
emkee_reinvented said:
Do you have a clue why you had these thought's at early age.

Quite significant as I am basing some of my thought's on these matter's from childhood memory. Mainly my fever induced enlightening experience's.
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Don't really wanna think about it tbh but I'm not sure because any "trauma" or "bad shit" that I can remember that happened to me was later but then everything is quite hazy, have loadsa good childhood memories to make up for that though. I'm sure i didn't think any different or that it was wrong but I did want to hide it from my mum maybe an instinct thing or something, at the time I just felt like it as a kid just expressing myself most likely, I so so was embarrassed when my mum read them though. I'm quite private to this day I still like to do it and keep everything hidden away in a box 😛
Can you explain what you mean by fever induced enlightening experience, even message me if you want.
 
Ever since we lost Knock, Mugzy and Cosgir, this place reminds me of death. :(

I hope everybody else is just taking a break. Some don't return my messages.
 
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I'm sorry your friends passed ☹️💓
I still have a wee electric toy 🎸 me an my late friend bought along with a wee toy keyboard out a charity shop (for her granddaughter) ... We ended up busking one day after a meeting with the toys they work btw we were trying to stay dry lol it was such a good laugh. I've still got the wee toy guitar she told me to keep.
I hope your friends come back on bluelight soon 🙂
 
I feel a sense of peace when I contemplate death.

And yes, I think of it quite often. Not in a way that brings me down, but liberates me;
one day I'll die, so why give so many fucks when it doesn't matter?

It's like having a Seroquel in your pocket on LSD. If the trip gets out of hand, just terminate.
 
iTry91 said:
I get what u mean but it's actually not that easy to kill yourself haha 😅
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A botched suicide is a half-assed attempt - not to shit on anyone, but if you're committed to the idea, it's not that hard.

The mental game though, that's another thing. It's the greatest leap of faith we can take, ain't it?
Diving head first, shitscared deep into the unknown.
 
Often.
Listened to the Smiths
Grew up without a mom and saw hunger strikers in their coffins age 6.
My best friend died St brigids day.
I see dead people. Dray dead doug Ellis haunts my days walking the streets of Aston.
Where flubrazolam may be cut with heroin? Is that possible..?
 
In the heat of the moment of suicide some people even botch the shotgun-to-the-head method.

Most people, when they do their attempt, are anything but in an composed state of mind.
 
BelleRed said:
FFS. I had a botched attempt after getting banned here. I took it very seriously and wanted to die more thsn anything. I find this post to be both wrong and insulting.
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I apologize if you took it personally despite me saying I wasn't trying to step on somebody.
I'm sorry to hear you were in such a bad place. I've tried to overdose - unsuccessfully, and I know that was solely because I was stuck and felt I got nowhere.
It was half-assed. I just don't see how, if one really wants to go, can hit and miss. The human body is soft and fragile tissue.

I'm not gonna dish out suicide-advice, but I can think of at least three ways I could kill myself in my livingroom with 100% certainty.

I have a lot of friends who tried to kill themselves, and alot who did kill themselves.
And those that really didn't want to die, they did the most outrageous shit to check out.

So, I didn't mean to offend you, and again, I'm sorry you were in that space.
 
Asante said:
In the heat of the moment of suicide some people even botch the shotgun-to-the-head method.
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That is an achivement in itself.
Asante said:
Most people, when they do their attempt, are anything but in an composed state of mind.
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I wouldn't really know. I think it's split pretty even between compulsive suiciders and those that plan it.
Those that take their life in desperation and panic, and those that simply feel that this shit is not for them anymore.

E.M Cioran once wrote that suicide is an optimists game, a game that didn't pan out, and I believe he's got a point.
If you have no reason to live, why would you have any to die? You're gonna get there anyway.
Might aswell fuck up this skinsuit and have some fun on the way.

But fuck do I know?
 
Not all suicide methods are failsafe. You can take the right suicide drug the right way and still puke it up while passed out. It happens a lot that people miss the part that matters with a firearm suicide. Some people jump off the golden gate bridge and live. If something is 99.9% certain, nature has a way of inching into that very 0.1%.
 
Safrolette said:
Yes, all the time, because of a tragic bereavement and also because of my age. The thought that on paper I'm already much closer to my death than not to my birth, and it could be all over tomorrow anyway if I'm very unlucky, makes me physically sick.
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the reality is that it could be all over tomorrow (or even in one second) for anyone and everyone so the sickening worry is unhelpful and ultimately pointless

I might not even make it to the end of this po :)

Really all anyone can do is live now, so the invitation is to do just that ...and it's a great tribute to our lost loved ones too
 
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