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do you tell your new lover your job or do you lie in case he doesn't like it?

staregiver

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 6, 2016
Messages
60
and if you don't tell him your job do you tell him it later? but will he breakup with you because you lied? thanks for replying if you did
 
Um why wouldn't you bring it up when you first meet?
only my employer knows my job so i've had no practice telling it to people, so i was too scared to tell him each time i tried.
Where do you work and why is it bad?
i don't know how to say it without it sounding low - but its only for one client and it pays really well so i can't leave it. but i really want a steady bf and a husband.
 
So you're kept? Yeah I wouldn't tell either. Not really acceptable when in a relationship with someone. Doesn't that break the rules of your "job?" Part of the job is to be exclusive with employer isn't it? Maybe I am thinking the wrong thing!
 
So you're kept? Yeah I wouldn't tell either. Not really acceptable when in a relationship with someone. Doesn't that break the rules of your "job?" Part of the job is to be exclusive with employer isn't it? Maybe I am thinking the wrong thing!
my client has a busy job and long office hours so i have free time to have a life still :) there are 2 of us anyway and he only instructs us, its not like "love". i could maybe just say i'm a massage therapist. because my new bf won't ever have to follow me into my clients home i guess right? even if we marry i can still keep it a secret if he just thinks its massage i guess. i'd love to have a lover and even get married :)
 
So do you have sex with your client? If yes thats not fair to the new boyfriend. Just bc you get paid doesn't mean its not cheating. Think how devastating that would be for someone. Finding out the woman you married is some guy's whore? That would be such a betrayal and so emasculating for your boyfriend/husband. A lot of men don't share! You might find a man that likes the money and is able to get past it, but you should atleast be truthful. You must be ashamed If u want to keep it secret. How about looking for a new job?
 
So what is it that you actually do?
just to be available when we get the call, and he either asks us to do tasks with each other or with him. some days he's at work a lot anyway but we are still paid the same amount no matter what, so i can still have time for a bf :)
 
So do you have sex with your client? If yes thats not fair to the new boyfriend. Just bc you get paid doesn't mean its not cheating. Think how devastating that would be for someone. Finding out the woman you married is some guy's whore? That would be such a betrayal and so emasculating for your boyfriend/husband. A lot of men don't share! You might find a man that likes the money and is able to get past it, but you should atleast be truthful. You must be ashamed If u want to keep it secret. How about looking for a new job?
yes but its not like bed, its like watching tv with him or in the pool lounge or tub or shower and random things happening during all those places. its a lot of money and i can buy anything i want even a car, its so hard to refuse this job :( if he agrees to have me just play with the other girl will it be ok? maybe she can do all the other things and i can just play with her and not play with him? hope i can keep my job and still get to have a bf. i've never said this outloud to anyone because of shame. online its easier and a relief to say it all!
 
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Honestly, if I were a guy a wouldn't date you. I don't believe in sharing and am not materialistic. I would rather be poor and happy than rich and miserable! Some people are materialistic and wont mind, especially if you foot all the bills. A lot of men out there are also looking for a free ride! So it depends on what type if guy you are going for I guess.
 
Hm, yeah, it's tough to tell the truth so I feel your pain; however, it's not fair to your bf. How would you feel if you knew that he was secretly getting paid to have sex with other people? If he truely loves you, he would accept you for you... however, that's really tough to do. You don't want to quit so you'll need to find a guy who would accept you for you, your job and all. & it might not be this guy. Up to you whether or not to tell him, but it's kind of wrong to keep it a secret...
 
Honestly, if I were a guy a wouldn't date you. I don't believe in sharing and am not materialistic. I would rather be poor and happy than rich and miserable! Some people are materialistic and wont mind, especially if you foot all the bills. A lot of men out there are also looking for a free ride! So it depends on what type if guy you are going for I guess.
thanks, its an interesting insight :) maybe i should tell him then i guess. i'm very scared he will just walk out straight away :(
 
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Hm, yeah, it's tough to tell the truth so I feel your pain; however, it's not fair to your bf. How would you feel if you knew that he was secretly getting paid to have sex with other people? If he truely loves you, he would accept you for you... however, that's really tough to do. You don't want to quit so you'll need to find a guy who would accept you for you, your job and all. & it might not be this guy. Up to you whether or not to tell him, but it's kind of wrong to keep it a secret...
he might be susspicious anyway, i came straight from work and he was kissing me privately and my knicks were not on so i'm not sure what he must think. but some people don't wear them anyway so its ok i guess and it helped us be more intimate. so maybe we are so close now he might be ok with my secret!
 
It doesn't sound like you are available, at least not for a normal relationship. If I were the bf, I'd be jealous. Maybe it is better to explain it as being in a troubled marriage. That way he knows you have another commitment, but you won't have to get into details.
 
Just tell him.

I slept with a girl, then she told me she used to be an escort.

I had no qualms about her having done that.

I did take issue with her being a dishonest person when she started trying use me.
 
It doesn't sound like you are available, at least not for a normal relationship. If I were the bf, I'd be jealous. Maybe it is better to explain it as being in a troubled marriage. That way he knows you have another commitment, but you won't have to get into details.
i wish i was normal and free. i guess i could say i'm not an exclusive. i wish i never got this job kind of. its really unlucky/lucky the way i got it too, i almost got a reduction surgery and i wimped out of it and then met HIM literally the day after. so weird.
Just tell him. I slept with a girl, then she told me she used to be an escort. I had no qualms about her having done that. I did take issue with her being a dishonest person when she started trying use me.
thanks i think i'll tell him then :) and first i'm gonna ask my boss to only do lesbian stuff.
 
thanks i think i'll tell him then :) and first i'm gonna ask my boss to only do lesbian stuff.
I think he'd dig that. This girl showed me a photo of her and a girl she used to have a lesbian relationship with through her work. It was hot thinking about them doing stuff. In retrospect, I should've asked if she could join us.
 
I think he'd dig that. This girl showed me a photo of her and a girl she used to have a lesbian relationship with through her work. It was hot thinking about them doing stuff. In retrospect, I should've asked if she could join us.
its really eassy, even showering or sunblock lotioning is lesbian to him :) plus i'm doing a massage course part-time so i practice on her. and i can practice on him still even if not relieving manhood.
 
Times up sooner or later..you say you want a BF and want to get married..so does this mean having children? If the answer is yes it's all gonna blow up in your face is my guess. You're dreaming long term but living just for the 'now' which is okay for 'now'. What do you reckon this guy does while he's off on these business trips?.. STDs could well be or already be on the way couldn't they? and if whatever BF you have is loyal that's going to be an even more shit way for him to find out.
 
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