Was just talking about this with the girlfriend...
And I can honestly say that... *deep breath*... no, I don't regret it. In fact, I think that getting into opiates has made me a
better person in some respects.
I was once quite the materialistic person, and now, now I feel that I really do truly and honestly value my relationships with other people more so than material things. I think that pawning off half of my possessions has helped me in that, and it may sound ridiculous, but I look around my room now and there is not one thing I've pawned that I now regret pawning.
I pawned most of whatever those things were for dope, some to pay bills and whatever, but I know now that even if I had given them away, lost them in a flood or whatever, I would be none the worse off as they're only material things and I attached no real value to them at all. (It's also made me realize how much shit we have that we don't really need...)
I think getting into opiates has also taught me that the beat really does go on... there's always tomorrow, and there's always some hope. I know that I've mentioned this before and I don't want to go too much into it, but uh... we once had to come up with $1,000 -- in cash -- in just
four hours or we would suffer some pretty serious consequences (arrested, lose our jobs, etc.) and it seemed impossible but we did it without having to do anything we'd regret such as pawning sentimental things or performing sexual favors, etc; we wheeled and dealed, schemed (without doing anyone dirty) and did some seedy things to raise the money, but we did it, dammit... and so now I don't worry about my bills as much anymore. I don't feel that same sense of anxiety about financial things... and I've learned a few new tricks on how to make money as well, of course.
I also felt no real empathy toward addicts and drug users before I got into opiates; they were a group of people I just could not relate to, did not
want to know or relate to, but that's no way to live. I'd like to learn empathy for all types of people, and I truly mean that as a future educator, someone who will hopefully one day be teaching a diverse group of students.
I can go on, but in all sincerity and honesty... no, I don't regret getting into opiates. I don't regret it at all.
EDIT: And also, getting into dope has tested my sense of right and wrong and what doing the right thing means. Not many people can say they've nursed a sizable heroin habit and kept their soul at the same time. I'd like to think that, two years later, and I have yet to lose mine. I don't steal, haven't pawned those items that I've attached sentimental value to, haven't performed sexual favors for drugs, haven't beat anyone or robbed anyone, haven't grimed anyone at all really. So, yeah, that's something I'm pretty proud of I guess... (shrugs)