dankhead88
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 19, 2005
- Messages
- 918
Sometimes it feels good to have some sort of mental vacation. Sometimes your sub-conscience creates false reasoning why you should go back to your drug of choice. Sometimes people prefer not to have apathy and desire to feel and be aware of everything around them. Some people love escaping from everything and some people love being a part of everything. I, myself used to be a heroin addict and meth addict.
I used to love the feelings of dope once I pushed the plunger in. It made me not give a shit about my problems. As I lay there, I become lost in my surroundings. My mind is in an ocean of sex and security. I loved it, until I started getting too much. The 10th hour has come. Then it happens.
After several months of being clean from the dope, I've started doing meth. The feelings were amazing. The cascade of dopamine in my brain felt like I was jumping off of a cliff that were to land in a climactic orgasm of my mental well-being, but I wanted more. Eventually, you fear going to sleep, you fear that you'll miss everything that you had planned for the next day.
Then, everyone realizes how tweaked out you are. Eventually you relapse with heroin. Then comes the everlasting destruction of the perfect chaotic balance.
In reality, I loved this combo the most. It gave me balance, but maybe that's what I've missed the most.
Sometimes it doesn't hurt to be sober. Being sober is great. It's a form of balance. Moderation is always key. Everyday use will only ruin the persons well being and well... It'll ruin your high. Save your tolerance and save your well-being. Save it for a better day. If I've been on a drug for a while, sobriety feels like a different high. To me sobriety isn't withdrawing. To me, those are separate feelings. To me, sobriety is when you feel good not being on anything. Don't get me wrong. I still like to indulge. Hah!
Mods, if this is the wrong forum, feel free to move this thread. Thanks.
I used to love the feelings of dope once I pushed the plunger in. It made me not give a shit about my problems. As I lay there, I become lost in my surroundings. My mind is in an ocean of sex and security. I loved it, until I started getting too much. The 10th hour has come. Then it happens.
Then came the withdrawals
The cold sweats, nausea, diarrhea, goosebumps.
The pupil dilation.
The restless legs, sleeplessness, and anxiety.
The depression.
The cravings any many other undesirable feelings of dread and symptoms of opiate withdrawal. The feeling where you want to just Kurt Cobain yourself with a shotgun.
You scream in agony hoping to find relief, but you are alone.
You've ran away from everything.
The cold sweats, nausea, diarrhea, goosebumps.
The pupil dilation.
The restless legs, sleeplessness, and anxiety.
The depression.
The cravings any many other undesirable feelings of dread and symptoms of opiate withdrawal. The feeling where you want to just Kurt Cobain yourself with a shotgun.
You scream in agony hoping to find relief, but you are alone.
You've ran away from everything.
After several months of being clean from the dope, I've started doing meth. The feelings were amazing. The cascade of dopamine in my brain felt like I was jumping off of a cliff that were to land in a climactic orgasm of my mental well-being, but I wanted more. Eventually, you fear going to sleep, you fear that you'll miss everything that you had planned for the next day.
You didn't want to ruin any commitment. You wanted everything to go as planned
Then, everyone realizes how tweaked out you are. Eventually you relapse with heroin. Then comes the everlasting destruction of the perfect chaotic balance.
The combination of meth and heroin that you call a Pseudo-Speedball
In reality, I loved this combo the most. It gave me balance, but maybe that's what I've missed the most.
Balance.
Ultimately, the combo led to my demise and led me further down the spiral.
Ultimately, the combo led to my demise and led me further down the spiral.
Sometimes it doesn't hurt to be sober. Being sober is great. It's a form of balance. Moderation is always key. Everyday use will only ruin the persons well being and well... It'll ruin your high. Save your tolerance and save your well-being. Save it for a better day. If I've been on a drug for a while, sobriety feels like a different high. To me sobriety isn't withdrawing. To me, those are separate feelings. To me, sobriety is when you feel good not being on anything. Don't get me wrong. I still like to indulge. Hah!
Mods, if this is the wrong forum, feel free to move this thread. Thanks.

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