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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

Do you care what others think of you?

Two quotes come to mind..

"It's mind over matter,- those who mind don't matter & those who matter don't mind".

Not sure that applies to drug/alcohol/whatever abuse though?

"It's very different from the outside looking in, than it is from the inside looking out".

That's one I've referred to in a past thread.

Rtp
 
I genuinely dont care, and after a deep discussion about me and my lifestyle the other night i/we concluded that in my circumsttances its not good a trait; just very selfish.
 
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People I am interested in or get on with, I do care what they think. Cunts, not so much. Okay okay. NOT AT ALL! Fuck'em Their cunts anyway.
 
alasdairm said:
it was kind of a heavy-handed rhetorical question to make a point. not very well, it seems :)

i agree with shambles - what other people think of me is none of my business. indeed, what other people think of me isn't (somewhat paradoxically) even about me. it's about somebody else's perception of me.

i know we've discussed 'the four agreements'? i think the 2nd agreement is spot on:i recognise that it's hard in practice.

i think eleanor roosevelt said it beautifully: "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent".why only a negative opinion?

alasdair
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I need to read that again there was an agreement about not jumping to conclusions or summit n I seriously need to read that again.....

Edit: that "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent" is actually a quote put on a Barbie film that my child watches.... "princess" or summit. We were actually taught then in counselling training, although a lot happened since then.... WOW so a quote on a Barbie film was taken from some extremely important, wow..... I'll buy my daughter that DVD n hope she takes something from it.......

Evey
 
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Eveyvibe said:
Ugh. People are too complex.
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Get yourself a dog. Canine psychology is like a simplified version of human psychology (mind, the Germans and Dutch think English is like a simplified version of French) so once you can understand dogs, you'll have at least some sort of an idea about people.

I'm slowly coming to the conclusion -- which I've sort of known all along, really -- that most people really couldn't give a flying one about me, and I'm worrying unduly about passing. I should try to hold onto this feeling and make the most of it, because I know it will only take one little comment to set me right back and make me feel about this big -> .
 
you're very much right Julie, People really don't care. Usually they don't think about you at all unless they either dislike you or they care about you. That is a minority of people. The majority nothing you. A sad fact but that is life....
 
BecomingJulie said:
Get yourself a dog. Canine psychology is like a simplified version of human psychology (mind, the Germans and Dutch think English is like a simplified version of French) so once you can understand dogs, you'll have at least some sort of an idea about people.

I'm slowly coming to the conclusion -- which I've sort of known all along, really -- that most people really couldn't give a flying one about me, and I'm worrying unduly about passing. I should try to hold onto this feeling and make the most of it, because I know it will only take one little comment to set me right back and make me feel about this big -> .
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Apologies - I've had a drink so will read this properly tomorrow (n feel a warth of embarrassment) but yea, I agree with the dog idea, My Nain Peggy had angina, couldn't go out of the house---swore she was only alive because of her dog, Jeese. Now my Nain Peggy, was HUGELY independent. She was my life. She was bloody amazing. She survived world war two, giving birth to her daughter during it (when most people were in the shelters n her husband was in the mines), losing her daughter at age 8 to a motorbike accident (I found this out on my Taid birthday n was devastated), basically she was one HELLUVA an amazing, independent woman, she looked after her alzeimer's husband for at least two years.... and after his death, her illness, NO TV, the only thing that kept my Nain alive was her dog, Jesse... I've a cat, myself, Beauty (Black died) but yea, dogs can be good company n I'll never forget Jesse for keeping my Nain alive but she needed to go n her time came... I know she'll be entertaining people up there, putting on entertainment shows and keeping everyone happy.... She taught me a lot about the war n stuff, I never failed to find that interesting "you'll write a book someday," she said. ok that was a bit ambitious but all Nains are ambitious of their grankids yea?!

Evey
 
BecomingJulie said:
Get yourself a dog. Canine psychology is like a simplified version of human psychology (mind, the Germans and Dutch think English is like a simplified version of French) so once you can understand dogs, you'll have at least some sort of an idea about people.

I'm slowly coming to the conclusion -- which I've sort of known all along, really -- that most people really couldn't give a flying one about me, and I'm worrying unduly about passing. I should try to hold onto this feeling and make the most of it, because I know it will only take one little comment to set me right back and make me feel about this big -> .
Click to expand...

Are french people bonkers? English is a unique language i.e its the bastsrd child of romance and germanic languages.
 
Hmm. Yeah, I understand what you're saying, I myself for once, used to be very aware and paranoid of what people thought of me. Although, this is partly from substance abuse while at school. But a lot of things contributed to it i.e. like the person I was back then and the company I'd hang around with trying to impress them to "join the crowd". Later on in my life, I realized what a lick arse I have been, when the first time you realize things, it hits you hard. Having anxiety doesn't help me either. I tend not to think about what people think of me as an overthinker, it just makes me dwell upon things for quite some time.

In all honesty though, I think it doesn't matter what people think about you, me or anyone for that matter. They don't know you and you don't know them. Whether it's insecurities, they won't know what they are 'cause like I said they don't know you. Sure they can pass judgement in their heads, but we don't know what they're thinking and vice versa. I think a lot of people think it's really bad to be judgmental, but we all pass a judgement in our heads whether it was by accident or purpose. I hate everyone, anyway. ;)

Sorry for the rambling, haha. There goes my two cents.
 
I don't pay it no mind what anyone thinks of me. I know Simon agrees.
 
I believe we all are educated by life to think we should not care or concern from what others thinK of us.
But to live like that is not as easy as it sounds, specially if you work, have children and depend on your earnings.
Most people say I don't care! But I wonder until what extent this is really true.

I am honest with myself and avoid caring too much on what other people think of me, but have not reached the level to simply don't care, unless I'm on drugs.
That's when I can literally say I care less and less from what others may think of me, when ironically it's the one situation where I should really care.
 
Far too much. I wish I could accept that people, on the whole just don't give a flying fuck, like Julie said. I even worry people I've zero respect for are thinking bad of me. It's the main thing I wish I could change, it's an ugly, narcissistic trait.
 
Cheers guys, back at ya :) glad to see you still here, Sam

I'm more talking about the place I'm forced to work - which involves basically doing the legwork for dolts who've risen to absurd positions through the old boys club and a sense of entitlement (still very easy in this country).

I hate them,but worry, and that makes me hate myself.
 
Ali touched on this earlier and I've been wondering about it myself... it seems that when people talk about "what other people think of me" the assumption is more or less always made that these will be bad or negatve thoughts and opinions. I wonder would it make any difference to people - whether they claim to care or not in general - if people held very high and positive opinions about you but had never - and had no plans to - tell you of this at any stage.
 
Don't let slavery get you down, a vic.

I survive at my present workplace because the major shareholders like me and think I'm 'classically educated'. Which I'm not, apart from autodidactically.Of course, that word makes them think I'm Chomsky.
 
Ah you see that's the problem, shambles, any evidence of positivity is easily downplayed, disbelieved, or forgotten, but the smallest grain of negativity can be blown totally out of proportion and fester in your mind for an unhealthy amount of time. Or so I hear...
 
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