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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

Do you care what others think of you?

There are a select few in my life who's opinions really matter and I care about what they think of me - the others not so much.
 
I'd say deep down I do care what other people think about my personality anyway, who doesn't want to be liked? If I find out that someone doesn't like me, or whatever, I often ponder over it and think 'why'? However, it's daft to obsess over such occasions, because the times this has happened is usually when I have been drunk, loud and probably offensive.

Other things I don't give a shit what others think, but these things might not necessarily be about my personality.

I can't totally let go and be carefree of others opinions, I think I do care less than I did when I was in my teens/early 20s where image was maybe more important, or even stupidly living up to an image sometimes back then, which I wouldn't do now.

Certain people's opinions are obviously more important to me - family, close friends etc. - although, if I have an issue I find it hard to talk to my parents about it, I always want them to think all is okay, when sometimes it's not. I look at them and they seem to have their shit together, when I think of them at the age I am now they seemed to be far more advanced and successful in life, but I may just be dwelling on decisions I have made and paths I have taken.

On holiday there I kind of made friends with a German couple, we'd end up sitting together at the pool bar after lunch, chatting about music and drinking beer mainly, they were about 10 years older or so. On their last night I was supposed to meet them for dinner, I ended up ridiculously drunk and I have flashbacks of being in the restaurant, I'm convinced it ended on a sour note, but I don't know if this is just all in my head and The Fear is making me think that, I honestly can't remember the night. Point is, I'm never going to see those people in my life ever again, but I liked them and I was genuinely worried that I had somehow offended them and that they left thinking I was actually a dick, when we had been having such a good time the rest of the afternoons we spent together.
 
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I want to say no, but I feel to a certain extent everyone cares what people think, whether they are conscious of it or not. I think saying that you don't care at all what anyone thinks of you is just a clever defense mechanisn used by everyone from time to time in an attempt to protect the ego. Of course for certain people or groups you may actually not give a damn one way or the other, maybe because you already percieve yourself as better then them. Or perhaps they just don't mean anything to you. It all comes back to ego really.

It is human nature to want to be loved and accepted. Not everyone is capable of such things unfortunately.
 
Cosmic Giraffe said:
I want to say no, but I feel to a certain extent everyone cares what people think, whether they are conscious of it or not. I think saying that you don't care at all what anyone thinks of you is just a clever defense mechanisn used by everyone from time to time in an attempt to protect the ego. Of course for certain people or groups you may actually not give a damn one way or the other, maybe because you already percieve yourself as better then them. Or perhaps they just don't mean anything to you. It all comes back to ego really.

It is human nature to want to be loved and accepted. Not everyone is capable of such things unfortunately.
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I think this is a very accurate post and I'm changing my answer to this. I don't think it's a simple black and white answer of yes / no as we interact with so many groups of people, types of people and I would like to think that people in general find me a nice person.

I know that not everyone likes everyone and I am happy with knowing that some people will not like me, some will actively dislike/hate me and that I can live with.
 
Only if I think of them as someone to respect or someone who I get on well with. People who have nothing to do with me I couldn't really care, ofcourse I say that but there is a limit, as they say, never go full retard.
 
In my day to day life (which includes dropping off & collecting a young child), I will never leave my house in trackpants.

Possibly at that time in the morn with wet hair, but I'll always dress decently.

As a cpp though, I thoroughly turn it up, never want to be seen as just another bogan in my drs office or specislist. God, I dress for them like I'm going on a date,- just less makeup.

Sad really, that we know we're being judged :(

Rtp
 
Cosmic Giraffe said:
I want to say no, but I feel to a certain extent everyone cares what people think, whether they are conscious of it or not. I think saying that you don't care at all what anyone thinks of you is just a clever defense mechanisn used by everyone from time to time in an attempt to protect the ego. Of course for certain people or groups you may actually not give a damn one way or the other, maybe because you already percieve yourself as better then them. Or perhaps they just don't mean anything to you. It all comes back to ego really..
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I've been through phases of being torn apart by the words of others, and phases of being able to completely disregard whatever insults some rude and ignorant yob may fling my way, i don't neccesarily consider myself better than them but ive never felt that i had the right to go round judging others and shouting insults or making remarks about complete strangers. In that regard I am politer and much less confrontational and makes allowances for others weaknesses & problems when i can, because we all have them. Whether that makes me a better person or not i dont know. People are so unique that its usually pointless trying to compare one against the other. Everyone has arrived where they are through completely different experiences and will have different strengths and weaknesses.

The main thing is that strangers know FA about you, to think that they can sum you up in one glance is absurd, your history makes you what you are, htf are they gonna understand or know anything about any of that, and your moods can change from day to day, moment to moment, making you seem a completely different person. At times though an insult can still get through all the defense mechanisms, but only if it's accurate, and can still eventually be dismissed as 'yeah i came across badly on that occasion but so what i'm only human and no one's perfect.' There's no need to wallow in the misery of someone having the afrontery to insult you, possibly much better to sling an insult straight back at them. That's not something i ever really did though except on somedays when i have been under the influence of benzos which have sometimes brought out a much more aggressive streak in me.
 
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