just what we were talking about, jerox.
its almost a full circle over here. ive gone on abit of a journey through stages. btw, this is gonna be a very longwinded dribble.
first stage of starting to go out - danced all night till the sun rose and the doors shut, non-stop except for 5-minute rests (squatting down in corners, usually wouldnt even bother going to look for a comfy seat) and quick sips of water. didnt need to go to the toilet much or even at all bcos of perspiration. was pretty fit but looked way too skinny.
second stage of going out regularly - still danced alot but was starting to sit down for longer periods especially when there were pple around to chat with, whether strangers or mates. conversations with mates were especially D&M. started to discover the wonders of doing missions of all sorts (buy chewy, find someone, go for a walk, catch a koala etc). sudden expansion of social circles filling up with pple i hardly knew.
third stage of complacency - stopped talking to strangers, and only talked to mates. no longer felt the need to dance as much, in fact, felt the need
not to dance as much. sat down all the time, content to just listen to the music and bop my head without budging from the same spot. and yet almost always, when the party has finished, id wish i had gotten up and danced. i felt irritated at myself everytime, but always self-justified it with "oh well, we'll do it again soon anyway... ". and it fell into a loop. it wasnt special or fun anymore.
fourth stage of rest - stopped going out for awhile to reorganise my life and get things back on track. especially health and uni. re-evaluated friendships. played pool. drank beer. exercised. gained weight. YAY!
fifth (current) stage of balance - go out once in awhile (approx. once a month, or max of twice, or less if nothing good enough is happening) and choose events of special interest instead of going to everything. nomore 4-day weekends. weekends end on sunday. and i have a whole new perspective of going out, partying, and having a good time. its almost like ive gone back to the first stage again - the excitement, the anticipation, and the hype of going out to somewhere special. but this time, the difference is an additional newfound sense of being at ease with myself and doing whatever makes me happy. and when i do exactly what i feel like doing, it usually ends up being a good balance of lotsa dancing, catching up with mates, and doing as few random missions as possible. i do talk to strangers now but not much.
being up on my feet and dancing again feels excellent. and now it takes no effort to break into dance anytime i want - its almost as if ive gotten rid of some invisible shackles around my ankles. i believe finding my balance in life has helped me find a balance in everything i do - for work or for play.
***end dribble, thank u for your patience***