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Do people perceive you the way you actually are?

drugfukkdrockstar

drugfukkdrockstar

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I hope my heading makes sense... i read it and it just doesn't look right. Meh, you get what i mean.

Any ways a particular discussion in this forum has got me thinking about how people view others, and yourself... and if they are actually right with their ideas on who you are, or do they tend to read you wrongly.

I will start with myself. People are on the money when they see me as being a confident person, and strong willed - but i am far from nasty. Where sometimes people will take one look at me before they even speak to me and decide that i am either intimidating or snobby. But i am far from that.... it used to bother me a great deal, but now i just accept that people will get an idea in their head about someone, either something has made them think a certain thing about someone, or i have even noticed people tend to want to think badly other others. Usually out of jealousy/envy, or for being just plain judgemental.

Do people tend to read you guys wrong? Either in a good way or a bad way? Do people think you're a push over, when you're not? Do people think you're a nasty person when that's far from the truth? Or do people think you're a really nice friendly person, when in reality - you're not. You just pretend to be. (i can't imagine many people admitting to this one)

Do people take one look at you and think you'd be a real bad ass, when in reality - you couldn't hurt a fly?
 
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hhhmmmmm... I mostly dont give a fuck what they think


but this thread really needs to get a lot more Australian-centric if it is to be differentiated from a thread that is better suited to SO
 
Hmm.... i was thinking about posting it in there..... feel free to move it if you think it's better off in there :)
 
I think people read me the wrong way and I read people the wrong way all the time. I am kind of shy and am sure I dont come off the way I would like to but I just dont worry or think about that anymore. I live in a town that is really rich and alot of the people come off as stuck-up assholes, which I'm sure most of them are but a few might of just caught me on a bad day.
 
I made a thread similar to this a while ago :)

I've been told a few times in the past that when people first met me they thought i was this ditzy girl who laughs to much and didn't really have anything intelligent to say, then came to realise that's not what im like at all. I used to be incredibly shy and this was annoyingly kind of my way of coping with that. Id be quiet and just giggle:o Since then i have become better at expressing my opinions but it's still a work in progress. And i still laugh a lot at the tiniest things but that's just me, i like to laugh, it does not mean i am an airhead :|

I think people will always percieve what they want to see in a first impression. Perception is a powerful thing. And perceptions can be warped by so much, ie how you percieve yourself, past experiences with other people, whether you are pessimistic/optimistic, stereotypes ect.

I've learnt though that it really does take time to get to know people, so i always try to be as unjudgemental and open minded as i can be. If i wasn't like that i quiet possible could have missed out on knowing some great people.. I've noticed some people think im less switched on to them than i actually am though, which can be funny or dissapointing, depending on the circumstances..

Genuine people are usually good at spotting other genuine people and not going simply by first impressions though. I hate that shy sometimes comes accross as not being genuine but im starting to realise that people worth getting to know see through that. Same goes with looking intimidating babe, the people worth getting to know can look past that.
 
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Some people think I'm shy when they first meet me, but that's because I usually am shy around people for an initial period of time. My current boss came across as being stand-offish and aloof when she was new, but until she got into the swing of things and developed a more personal relationship with the employees, she actually WAS being kind of cold. She isn't like that now, but it was her behavior that changed over time, and opinions then changed as well. While I agree that some people misread initial interactions and form assumptions based on that, it really depends on the situation. If someone finds you intimidating and you don't view yourself in the same light, that doesn't necessarily make their opinion wrong. I'm sure there are a lot of people that don't see themselves as bitchy or assholeish, and yet a majority of the public would disagree. Ya know what I mean?
 
people think I'm a jock til they get to know me. Its pretty funny to me because its totally not what I am but looks can be deceiving.
 
I tend to be very reserved when it comes to strangers. For that reason a lot of people tend to think I hate them when I haven't known them long enough to feel one way or another. Or sometimes they think I'm a creep no matter how interesting I think they are. It's so annoying.
 
I have learnt not to care what people think of me. But my physical appearance leads to people categorizing me with people that I want little to do with and am not like at all.
 
Great thread.
A few points to consider.

1. Everyone will perceive you slightly differently. No two people will see you exactly the same.

2. How you perceive yourself will not always be correct either.

Its important to remember that the impression you think you give or thaqt you want to give is not what is always received.


Often effort is totally wasted. For example if you buy fancy clothes to impress me then I wont even notice them..........I never do.............I take totally different cues in life............but others can only see the clothing.
 
drugfukkdrockstar said:
I hope my heading makes sense... i read it and it just doesn't look right. Meh, you get what i mean.

Any ways a particular discussion in this forum has got me thinking about how people view others, and yourself... and if they are actually right with their ideas on who you are, or do they tend to read you wrongly.
Click to expand...
Better put (IMO), do people perceive me the way I believe myself to be?

The answer is generally "no." But there's no right or wrong here... how could I possibly know for sure if I have "blind spots" in certain areas, and others are actually spot-on with their observations? IMO this is a VERY difficult and tricky matter. Ultimately, the answer is 'I don't know'.
 
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People who don't know me view me as a goodie-goodie who never does anything wrong (especially in high school). Most of my old raver friends refer to me as "serial killer Ted", even though ted isn't my real name. My current friends call me by my name, so I don't know what they think of me. I'm pretty sure they think I'm just real dumb and slow (from some of their comments), but according to one of my friends I am "one of the smartest people" he's ever met (not to tute my own horn). I don't know what the average Joe thinks of me.?

I'm not real social, so people who don't know me make assumptions based on what they know, I guess.
 
I think its often very difficult for people to perceive themselves in an objective way - I mean, most people think of themselves as being fun, kind, nice, caring, interesting intelligent bla di bla .... that's human nature. But we all have faults.

That said I can understand how frustrating it is for people to perceive you in a certain way - I sometimes feel people think I'm a ditz, or not very smart, or some aging party girl who doesn't care about anything but drinking and going out ... I earn decent money, have a few years of uni under my belt, have travelled pretty extensively, love reading, have a decent job, care about the environment, health care, have educated opinions on economy and politics, to name a few things.

I also like going out dancing, drinking too much vodka, eating too much chocolate, read trashy mags/books sometimes, and make stupid jokes when I'm drunk. Eh. what are ya gonna do? You can't please everyone.

I think in being honest with myself, I feel maybe I come across badly for some reason OR, the negative way I described myself above, is actually how I perceive myself.

Best not to analyse too much :|
 
I'm like you, capital. People at work, and other people who only know my public self, think I'm some complete aw-shucks, wholesome good boy goody two shoes. As much as it never ceases to amaze me how wrong they are, I really find it a really helpful cover. I'd rather anyone at work, certainly anyone I'd ask for a recommendation, to see this, rather than the free-spirit stoner I actually am.
 
I'm very different depending on which circle I'm running in. I have to be careful cause I can come off as a self centered asshole, but those who know me well know that I have a heart of gold. Sometimes I'll go out of my way to project a certain image, but for the most part if you ask 5 different people what I'm like you'll get 5 different answers.
 
^^mydoorsareopen, yeah I guess it can be a good thing.

Also I have pretty bad social phobia. When I don't have my klonopin and I talk to someone I don't know, I always feel like I come off as a really pissed off asshole, when I'm just really shy.
 
MazDan said:
2. How you perceive yourself will not always be correct either.
Click to expand...

bingo mazza. good one mate.

people who know me, definitely know me better than i do. it is difficult to see oneself from the inside.
 
i would definitely say peoples perception of me changes as i get more comfortable around them. but that is because my actions around them change.
 
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