johannes kreisler
Bluelighter
26y, male, quite experienced
_________________________
jesus christ! I'm just in the afterglow of a dmt session and - surprise! - it blew my mind!
I've been in a very unstable mood for days, escapism-behavior of all sorts (including opiates, too much alc and thc) up to the point of complete scatteredness, extreme tension and overall unbearableness.
('why those troubles?' one might ask: well, atm I have long-distance-relationship with my soulmate - again. and I do have serious troubles handling that. I also have serious troubles with my parents. "I don't know if I'll ever talk to my mother again"-like. academia also pisses me off big time and I don't know if I'm gonna finish my studies or drop out to some warmer country/environment)
anyway there's a lot of bullshit in my life right now and I do have to make some decisions. feel some life again. be productive again.
decide to live. to be. here. now. no matter what.
so I took 2mg of lorazepam to mellow things out; having in mind that i could smoke some dmt later on - "to get me back on track". (lorazepam and dmt work extremely well together for me)
I did.
I tried to make everything as cozy as it gets. incense, blankets, chill-ass music (cinematic orchestra). I even wore a beanie.
30mg + 1 hit of n2o for the first shot was a ticket to hyperspace. beautiful but no ++++ as experienced before with this combo. 'just' a very personal heaven with a female entity leading the way.
there was another pipe filled with 25mg lying around and I had the urge to be in the afterglow some longer, maybe intensify it a bit.
at this time the playlist changed to Sibelius Symphony No. 7. one BLer recommended this piece for tripping - but you should not listen to it before you trip with it. so the time was now.
sounded good so far and so I got the 25mg down the lungs.
suddenly I was in a very visionary non-hyperspace world. and the music had BRUTAL impact on that. I don't know what happens to you when you are sober and listen to this piece of art but what it did to me was BRUTAL.
the music ripped parts of me, and I mean the very ME, my-self, my core/soul away! also parts occupied by significant others e.g. parents away!
and it felt DAMN serious like if I don't stop that I won't be the same after that experience.
then the "the hero's journey" began. switch the music!.
interact with a reality that looks the same no matter if eyes closed or open. a reality in which time has no meaning. find a laptop, that looks like ancient alien technology. making sense out of the stuff on the screen was not an option. (note: during this still pieces get ripped apart and it feels like I'm fighting for my life. I didn't panic though. was quite calm. knew what to do.)
typing did work and as soon as I could find the right of the dozens of "play"-buttons I was relieved.
re-lived.
interestingly my mind and cognition was completely sober and intact. it was just the environment that was ...well... FUCKED UP.
it felt like everything else is in DMT-land but I am sober.
this experience will take some time to integrate and has many interesting levels but the selfmade horror from the time before the experience is gone now.
hope you enjoyed! will probably get updated.
_________________________
jesus christ! I'm just in the afterglow of a dmt session and - surprise! - it blew my mind!
I've been in a very unstable mood for days, escapism-behavior of all sorts (including opiates, too much alc and thc) up to the point of complete scatteredness, extreme tension and overall unbearableness.
('why those troubles?' one might ask: well, atm I have long-distance-relationship with my soulmate - again. and I do have serious troubles handling that. I also have serious troubles with my parents. "I don't know if I'll ever talk to my mother again"-like. academia also pisses me off big time and I don't know if I'm gonna finish my studies or drop out to some warmer country/environment)
anyway there's a lot of bullshit in my life right now and I do have to make some decisions. feel some life again. be productive again.
decide to live. to be. here. now. no matter what.
so I took 2mg of lorazepam to mellow things out; having in mind that i could smoke some dmt later on - "to get me back on track". (lorazepam and dmt work extremely well together for me)
I did.
I tried to make everything as cozy as it gets. incense, blankets, chill-ass music (cinematic orchestra). I even wore a beanie.
30mg + 1 hit of n2o for the first shot was a ticket to hyperspace. beautiful but no ++++ as experienced before with this combo. 'just' a very personal heaven with a female entity leading the way.
there was another pipe filled with 25mg lying around and I had the urge to be in the afterglow some longer, maybe intensify it a bit.
at this time the playlist changed to Sibelius Symphony No. 7. one BLer recommended this piece for tripping - but you should not listen to it before you trip with it. so the time was now.
sounded good so far and so I got the 25mg down the lungs.
suddenly I was in a very visionary non-hyperspace world. and the music had BRUTAL impact on that. I don't know what happens to you when you are sober and listen to this piece of art but what it did to me was BRUTAL.
the music ripped parts of me, and I mean the very ME, my-self, my core/soul away! also parts occupied by significant others e.g. parents away!
and it felt DAMN serious like if I don't stop that I won't be the same after that experience.
then the "the hero's journey" began. switch the music!.
interact with a reality that looks the same no matter if eyes closed or open. a reality in which time has no meaning. find a laptop, that looks like ancient alien technology. making sense out of the stuff on the screen was not an option. (note: during this still pieces get ripped apart and it feels like I'm fighting for my life. I didn't panic though. was quite calm. knew what to do.)
typing did work and as soon as I could find the right of the dozens of "play"-buttons I was relieved.
re-lived.
interestingly my mind and cognition was completely sober and intact. it was just the environment that was ...well... FUCKED UP.
it felt like everything else is in DMT-land but I am sober.
this experience will take some time to integrate and has many interesting levels but the selfmade horror from the time before the experience is gone now.
hope you enjoyed! will probably get updated.
.
YES! Betula Pendula is one of the most hauntingly beautiful ambient pieces of ALL time! I first heard it in the good ol' days, after drinking a bottle of cough syrup. 
:D